Credit Score?

[Deleted]

That's moving quite fast for just a few dates, which is what a lot of people replying here are pointing to in their replies. "Surely no one reading this moved in with their S.O after meeting them a few times! So why even bring it up?" Leave it be until it's relevant seems to be the prevailing opinion, both here and from the OP's co-workers' reactions.

As long as no one owes a ton of cash to a ton of people, it'll all be fine, And even if you did have awful credit, chances are good that it would still be fine if both people are normal, functional adults.

And in the end...it doesn't matter. People are going to do what makes them happy either way, good credit or bad. "There's more to life than dollars and cents" and all that justification blabber. Seems like a convenient way to ignore less-than-awesome standards or problems made for oneself by oneself in my opinion. Regardless of what someone wants to get out of life, no one should really be interested in owing tons of money. That' s just not beneficial to anyone's end-goal of life. Is it?

Would you really want to spend months of time dating a person and then lets say 1 year later after you are talking about moving in together you found out shes a big amount in debt?
Would you not have wanted to know that 9 months ago?

I don't know.. I am a bit on the fence on this one as I've dated people that did not have a single penny to their name.
How can you have an equal relationship when one party is taking care of the other financially?

[Freighter]

Credit score is about one's ability to take out loans. That's not important until you wish to share finances, which is deep into a relationship (marriage).

If the issue is simply about money, then the better thing to do is talk about what you do for a living. Nobody ever said you had to pay for people. Personally, I'm not going to let someone's net worth get in the way of whether I enjoy spending time with her.

You talked about money and I responded to that.

[MonsieuRoberts]

Money is pretty important, you can't have someone with an income a lot lower than yours and expect them to be able to do things with you unless you pay for them. I know I'm not paying for someone who is supposed to be independent.

I agree, equity isn't always a great thing when one person's much better off than the other. Not even relationship-wise; You know how old it got having to reload the laundry card in place of a roommate? Or covering a little extra of the rent over and over, until it just became commonplace that that roommate just pays less than us? Having to go to cheaper places to dine out because we wanted to be inclusive, or simply refraining from shopping around with someone because their self control was lacking enough they'd put themselves in a bad position and we'd have to cover for them? Ugh. Friends do not always make the best people to share responsibilities with.

I've learned my lessons about sharing responsibilities with irresponsible people and it's not going to happen again.

That being said, if we hit it off, I'm not really going to ask about your credit the first few times we meet. Learning someone's spending habits is something that's not too difficult to infer if you're with that person fairly often, especially on dates once the first few are out of the way. Spending comes up in conversation frequently enough anyway as a 20-something, or as a student. Money's always on your mind. Kinda has to be in 2017.

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Would you really want to spend months of time dating a person and then lets say 1 year later after you are talking about moving in together you found out shes a big amount in debt?
Would you not have wanted to know that 9 months ago?

I couldn't imagine being so ignorant and unaware as to be close to someone for over a year and not have a single inkling as to their financial situation. There are people I go to class with whose names I don't even know that talk about their financial status in a pretty public setting.

I'd deserve the brutal balancing act of paying for someone's path beside me if I were ignorant to their finances after a year of being together.

[Captain N]

This sounds quite a bit like the same people who don't like to discuss their wages for unknown reasons. Talking to a partner you intend to have a long relationship with about finances shouldn't be uncomfortable. If you both have the same goals for a home together or wanting to make a large purchase or vacation it's probably best if you figure out how the other is with paying back things on credit.

[Machismo]

You talked about money and I responded to that.

Once again, I don't care how much money someone makes. Until their finances impact me, it doesn't matter. I'm not nearly that shallow. As for credit cores themselves, that doesn't matter until two people decide to go in on something together, and that is far into a relationship.

If you can't figure out how responsible someone is without asking their credit score, then your skills of deduction need some work.

[MonsieuRoberts]

If you can't figure out how responsible someone is without asking their credit score, then your skills of deduction need some work.

Totally agree. Straight up asking "What's your credit score" is probably not something you'll ever have to do when learning about someone, potential SO or not. Maybe that's what some people in here are talking about; Just infer the information you need, don't be so blunt about it.

[Grapemask]

It's only uncomfortable if you're with the kind of person who would break up with you over a credit score. AKA, a shitty worthless person. In which case maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship anyway.

But I can see how people might use credit scores to gauge other factors, like if someone is really shit with money and debt. But credit scores don't reflect that well, either, which is why every credit-issuer notes "your credit score isn't the only thing we look at." But even then, that's still basing the multidimensional aspects of a relationship on only the single dimension of finances, so maybe it's still not a good idea to be in a relationship with this person - they either only want the relationship for a single aspect, or they're fickle and will drop it if a single thing goes awry.

[Machismo]

Totally agree. Straight up asking "What's your credit score" is probably not something you'll ever have to do when learning about someone, potential SO or not. Maybe that's what some people in here are talking about; Just infer the information you need, don't be so blunt about it.

Asking such a question shows what someone's priorities are, and that seems like a very shallow approach to dealing with others. I have no problem telling people what I make, or what I do for a living. But, when someone asks a question, I always ask myself why they are asking it. Such a question is already pointing to a person being shallow if they ask it early in a relationship. Either that, or they want to move in together immediately, which also send off alarm bells.

[Spectral]

I wouldn't really know for sure how to bring it up, but I'd want to know about as early as possible. In addition to the pragmatic concerns down the road, I'd also want to know about it from a character perspective - borrowing money that you've failed to pay back in the agreed upon fashion tells me a fair bit about how someone is conducting their life. Even if it's really the result of spectacularly bad medical luck or similar (it's usually not), this just isn't something I need to be tangled up with.

This seems relevant on the same level as talking about whether you want to have kids. These sorts of large lifestyle choices and outcomes aren't something that's going to fix itself if only you love each other enough.

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Asking such a question shows what someone's priorities are, and that seems like a very shallow approach to dealing with others. I have no problem telling people what I make, or what I do for a living. But, when someone asks a question, I always ask myself why they are asking it. Such a question is already pointing to a person being shallow if they ask it early in a relationship. Either that, or they want to move in together immediately, which also send off alarm bells.

Alternatively, they're looking to not have quick flings with someone that they certainly won't be staying with long term. If I were single again, it's pretty hard to imagine that I'd want to date someone with a credit score in the mid-600s for basically the same reasons I wouldn't want to date an unemployed dropout.

[Machismo]

I wouldn't really know for sure how to bring it up, but I'd want to know about as early as possible. In addition to the pragmatic concerns down the road, I'd also want to know about it from a character perspective - borrowing money that you've failed to pay back in the agreed upon fashion tells me a fair bit about how someone is conducting their life. Even if it's really the result of spectacularly bad medical luck or similar (it's usually not), this just isn't something I need to be tangled up with.

This seems relevant on the same level as talking about whether you want to have kids. These sorts of large lifestyle choices and outcomes aren't something that's going to fix itself if only you love each other enough.

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Alternatively, they're looking to not have quick flings with someone that they certainly won't be staying with long term. If I were single again, it's pretty hard to imagine that I'd want to date someone with a credit score in the mid-600s for basically the same reasons I wouldn't want to date an unemployed dropout.

And it would appear that most people are not like that. The anecdotal survey that was performed showed that roughly 80% found it to be a problem if brought up early, meaning you are already limiting yourself to 20% of the population.

[Spectral]

But I can see how people might use credit scores to gauge other factors, like if someone is really shit with money and debt. But credit scores don't reflect that well, either, which is why every credit-issuer notes "your credit score isn't the only thing we look at."

While credit scores are poor as a sole determinant of creditworthiness (you don't want to give someone a $500K mortgage if their salary is $25K/year, even if they've consistently paid back past loans), a very low credit score really does tell you a fair bit. It's not like it's hard to have a 720+ score.

[MonsieuRoberts]

Asking such a question shows what someone's priorities are, and that seems like a very shallow approach to dealing with others. I have no problem telling people what I make, or what I do for a living. But, when someone asks a question, I always ask myself why they are asking it. Such a question is already pointing to a person being shallow if they ask it early in a relationship. Either that, or they want to move in together immediately, which also send off alarm bells.

Never flattering for the question-asker for sure. And if that's a non-issue for them...well, prepare to be a means to an end.

[Spectral]

And it would appear that most people are not like that. The anecdotal survey that was performed showed that roughly 80% found it to be a problem if brought up early, meaning you are already limiting yourself to 20% of the population.

FWIW, I said that I don't see how you'd bring it up in a fashion that wouldn't be offputting, so I obviously understand that it's not socially acceptable.

That said, there's nothing wrong with limiting yourself to 20% of the population for serious relationships. Numerous other criteria that I have for serious relationships already limit me to a much smaller pool than that. Hell, just stipulating that you won't date someone that's overweight takes you down to 30% of the population right off the bat.

[Machismo]

While credit scores are poor as a sole determinant of creditworthiness (you don't want to give someone a $500K mortgage if their salary is $25K/year, even if they've consistently paid back past loans), a very low credit score really does tell you a fair bit. It's not like it's hard to have a 720+ score.

The funny thing about it, I don't even know my credit score. I make plenty of money, and don't need to know it, because I don't apply for loans or credit cards. I make sure to check that nobody is committing ID theft against me, but that's it. I use a credit card about twice a year, and that's just to make sure I have the right passwords to their sites when I pay the bill.

[cuafpr]

for me basically never or super long term.. I don't have much issues saying mine is good or that I had to rebuild it after job loss but i'm not giving out the number to someone i just started dating. Frankly the system has so many issues its almost a scam, and it encourages people to take out loans and carry reasonable debt vs debt free living. You can have a score of 300 just because you have never had a loan but make upper income money, or a 700+ score cause you have loans but make middle/low income money.

I've never used a person's income or money to determine if i would date someone. I've dated well below my income level to well above it. Only time it's ever been awkward was complaining about money to buy stuff to someone that made like 15k a year vs what i make....

[Machismo]

Never flattering for the question-asker for sure. And if that's a non-issue for them...well, prepare to be a means to an end.

I agree. If someone asks me how much money I make, it shows what they care about. Personally, there's a great deal more I'd rather find out first.

[Height]

Mine is at 799/800 and I have about 42K in the bank. My bf however has dismal credit score and keeps getting charged for over drafting. I've still been with him five years. Although, if he doesn't move in with me within a year I think I'm going to cut it off. He lives an hour 45 mins away. :P

[Forgettable]

People with bad credit are offended by this question.

[Sinyc]

It's no different than asking someone how much money they have in their bank account or what type of porn they prefer to watch when they masturbate. People don't often like to speak about personal things, especially when it may be embarrassing.

It's a loaded question, and one that is made out to be highly judgmental.

God forbid someone have personal responsibility. The drive to not have people "laugh" at your credit score should be motivation enough to fix it.

[Machismo]

God forbid someone have personal responsibility. The drive to not have people "laugh" at your credit score should be motivation enough to fix it.

Once again, there are other ways to determine that. If you ask me, I'll tell you my credit score (I don't actually know it). That doesn't mean I won't think you're a nosy asshole for asking it.

It all depends on when such a question is asked. When you meet people, the questions you ask them tend to be based on order of importance on what you want to know about them. I consider a credit score to be pretty low on that list.