Credit Score?

[Xar226]

People with bad credit are offended by this question.

I'm offended by this question and my credit is in the Excellent range.

Somebody's credit score isn't going to make a difference in whether or not I am interested in a relationship with them, and when it becomes serious enough that I have to consider co-mingling of finances it's not going to be a factor. The only factor will be whether or not I trust them and whether or not we are partners in the relationship. I will know those answers long before that point without ever asking about their credit score, debt, or finances.

[Vash The Stampede]

At what point in a relationship do you care how much money a person has in their bank account? In reality, it doesn't matter, until their finances and yours become intertwined. That's not early in a relationship.

Lots of people stay in relationships but don't get married due to debt. I know a few people like this. Cause once they get married they're both responsible for each others debt. Debt collectors have no soul, and will levy your bank account even if you're not the person who has any debt. If Bob married Lisa and she owes $20k in medical bills, they will levy Bobs account for the money she owes. BTW, if people wanna know why couples are having less children today, this is probably the reason. People are trying to get out of debt before they have children and that's a slow painful process.

[Machismo]

Lots of people stay in relationships but don't get married due to debt. I know a few people like this. Cause once they get married they're both responsible for each others debt. Debt collectors have no soul, and will levy your bank account even if you're not the person who has any debt. If Bob married Lisa and she owes $20k in medical bills, they will levy Bobs account for the money she owes. BTW, if people wanna know why couples are having less children today, this is probably the reason. People are trying to get out of debt before they have children and that's a slow painful process.

I'm not saying finances shouldn't be discussed, but I find it to be a rather odd thing to discuss early on in a relationship, especially regarding credit scores

[God Save The King]

If you have the intentions of a long-term relationship, you should get relatively important information out of the way. I wouldn't want to waste time with someone who is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and maxed out credit cards (unless they have a good reason...), it's a reflection of who they are and their spending habits. In the same vein, I also want to know if they want children, as I make it clear that I have no interest in fathering children, ever. It is also nice to know if they plan on living in the area, or want to move, if they have similar aspirations with material goods, what they want to spend decent chunks of money on (i.e. for me I enjoy traveling, so I'd want a partner who does the same).

[Jaylock]

Do Europeans have credit scores? Here in the US we have credit reporting agencies that take many things into account to create a score for you which determines the likelyhood of you defaulting on credit.

[Xaxien]

Coming from a person who got access to credit cards at an early age(I established a credit score at age 16 when my brother cosigned on a loan for my first PC, and yes, I am old enough that banks actually did crap like that on a regular basis) I can tell you it really depends on a combination of both parties involved.

I had an amazing credit score until I got credit cards. Not having been taught how they work, I ruined my credit very quickly, and ended up having to cash out my retirement when I got married to erase the debt. Our finances really didn't come into play until we were married. I was a little embarrassed at first, but explaining the situation helped her understand and she was very open to working together to fix it and move forward with our lives together.

That being said, long story short, it basically boils down to you. If it is important and is a deal breaker(whether you have to know, or whether they HAVE to have a good credit score), then by all means, ask early. BUT, that also means you should be prepared to accept the fact that it may be a deal breaker to THEM that you want to know or that you NEED them to have a good credit score. Every situation is going to be different, but if you are going to have expectations that might be unreasonable to others, you need to be prepared for those expectations to potentially have dire consequences for your relationships.

If I were asked about my credit score, before I would answer, I would want to know your reasoning in as honest a manner as possible. Keep in mind too, that depending on your age, or THEIR age, they probably won't have a good credit score. They don't just hand out 800 credit scores when you turn 18. Now, if you are middle aged and are dating someone who is middle aged, it is a lot more reasonable to need that information than if you were both fresh out of high school or college. Good luck to you either way.

[Laerrus]

Opinions please-

So tonight at work someone asked the question - "When is it okay to bring up credit score in a relationship?" After I answered people were pretty up in arms. Out of about 20 people, it was divided 4/16 or so.

Personally I said "pretty early in the relationship." I was shocked at how offended people got by this, as if credit score is some huge personal secret. I wouldn't press the question or make a big deal about it, but I don't see the issue with being open in a relationship. If I can see you naked, why aren't details like this okay to discuss?

Seems like that would be better off saved for when the relationship is getting serious, as in close to a decision on marriage. If you are both just having fun at the moment, I would not worry about it.

My Wife and I have both been careless with money over the years, but now that we have a family, we understand the importance of finances. Bringing my Wife's credit score up with mine has brought me a great deal of enjoyment over the past couple of years. My FICO is at 777 up from the 660s just a year ago.

[Lochton]

This is when it would be practical to do so. Early in a relationship it would be pretty tactless to dive into financials, there isn't necessarily enough trust built that it wouldn't be suspicious.

Indeed, hence it would first be something needed to share once you share roof (live together) or you share budget.

[Vash The Stampede]

I'm not saying finances shouldn't be discussed, but I find it to be a rather odd thing to discuss early on in a relationship, especially regarding credit scores

Anyone who brings up your credit score in a relationship must have had some really bad experiences. I don't think money should be something people need to think about in a relationship unless the person is asking for a loan or something.

[Katchii]

Credit scores should only seriously be discussed when you want to apply for something jointly which usually doesn't occur until the relationship is very serious. You still have separate credit scores, even when married and people can have terrible/ not so good credit scores for many different reasons that have nothing to do with them being irresponsible or bad with money.

Finances/ career/ income, I agree are something that should be discussed or at least settled in vague terms VERY early on in a relationship where you are looking for a long term/ lifelong partner. Credit Score, no.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

I get the pragmatism of it all, but I also understand why people don't want to talk about things like that early on in a relationship.

I definitely never said its something that has to be talked about after day 90 or something, just that it'd be fine to do so early. How is it any more or less personal than speaking about religion?

By the way, on online dating sites salary is something you can elect to put on your profile, and then also something you can sort by, so its seemingly not that crazy of a subject to talk about in general.

- - - Updated - - -

What is "pretty early" and what kind of "relationship"? Also helps to know how old you are and what your background is.

I said pretty early to be ambiguous on purpose. I said that to directly counter the argument that you should wait until buying a house with someone to discuss credit.

I'd say serious relationship is the only type being discusses here.

I'm just not at an age and background where I would want to date someone that doesn't care about credit at all, or isn't interested in trying to repair/improve their score. I just think credit is part of the whole. I obviously wouldn't judge someone based solely on a 3 digit number.

[Mistame]

I mean, if "credit scores" are a topic of the validity of the relationship, you're doing it wrong. That said, the only point I can see it being valid is if it's a "business" relationship and you're applying for a "credit" line.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

I'm offended by this question and my credit is in the Excellent range.

Somebody's credit score isn't going to make a difference in whether or not I am interested in a relationship with them, and when it becomes serious enough that I have to consider co-mingling of finances it's not going to be a factor. The only factor will be whether or not I trust them and whether or not we are partners in the relationship. I will know those answers long before that point without ever asking about their credit score, debt, or finances.

Still, I don't understand why its such an insanely personal question. What you said isn't wrong here, but why is it so crazy? I feel much more intimate things are normally discussed on the first or second date.

[Machismo]

I definitely never said its something that has to be talked about after day 90 or something, just that it'd be fine to do so early. How is it any more or less personal than speaking about religion?

By the way, on online dating sites salary is something you can elect to put on your profile, and then also something you can sort by, so its seemingly not that crazy of a subject to talk about in general.

- - - Updated - - -



I said pretty early to be ambiguous on purpose. I said that to directly counter the argument that you should wait until buying a house with someone to discuss credit.

I'd say serious relationship is the only type being discusses here.

I'm just not at an age and background where I would want to date someone that doesn't care about credit at all, or isn't interested in trying to repair/improve their score. I just think credit is part of the whole. I obviously wouldn't judge someone based solely on a 3 digit number.

You said "pretty early in the relationship."

That's not something most people talk about at that point.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

Seems like that would be better off saved for when the relationship is getting serious, as in close to a decision on marriage. If you are both just having fun at the moment, I would not worry about it.

My Wife and I have both been careless with money over the years, but now that we have a family, we understand the importance of finances. Bringing my Wife's credit score up with mine has brought me a great deal of enjoyment over the past couple of years. My FICO is at 777 up from the 660s just a year ago.

To me that just feels way too late. At the point where you are considering a proposal, you "should" have already spent AT LEAST a damn year together. And asking at that point would seem stupid, mainly because your relationship sucks if that would cause you to change your mind at that stage. So that means it shouldn't be talked about at all, really.

[Mistame]

Still, I don't understand why its such an insanely personal question. What you said isn't wrong here, but why is it so crazy? I feel much more intimate things are normally discussed on the first or second date.

It's not so much a personal thing with me. I mean, if we're casually talking about it, I'll gladly disclose it. But if it's part of some determination of "compatibility" or some such drivel, they're just a waste of time and space. No credit score is going to make a chub/breeder appealing or a hottie less so. /shrug

[Deleted]

This is an actual thing? Like wtf? Ive never discussed credit score with a girl that would make or break a relationship. Thats just stupid.

Exactly. Credit score my arse, wtf are we robots.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

It's not so much a personal thing with me. I mean, if we're casually talking about it, I'll gladly disclose it. But if it's part of some determination of "compatibility" or some such drivel, they're just a waste of time and space. No credit score is going to make a chub/breeder appealing or a hottie less so. /shrug

Thats mostly how I feel. Just a small part of the whole package really.

- - - Updated - - -

You said "pretty early in the relationship."

That's not something most people talk about at that point.

But why? When would you disclose if you had a criminal record? When you're about to get married? What about if you are a devout catholic, and 100% intend on forcing your kids to be raised catholic? I dunno, these sorts of things seem like something that should be discussed.

[Machismo]

Thats mostly how I feel. Just a small part of the whole package really.

- - - Updated - - -



But why? When would you disclose if you had a criminal record? When you're about to get married? What about if you are a devout catholic, and 100% intend on forcing your kids to be raised catholic? I dunno, these sorts of things seem like something that should be discussed.

And a credit score seems like a strange way to go about it, which according to your own survey, most people would agree with me. Most people don't know, nor do they care, about their own credit score. So, it seems weird to care about someone else's.

[Deleted]

Do Europeans have credit scores? Here in the US we have credit reporting agencies that take many things into account to create a score for you which determines the likelyhood of you defaulting on credit.

We do in the UK. Pretty certain the rest of the EU also do.