What do you look for when dating?

[ONCHEhap]

Anyone who doesn't say no

[Ghostpanther]

Married, so it is not a concern for me. But when I was single, I did not look for girls, they came to me and I was attracted by one thing....looks. It just so happens the only one I have ever loved was and is, my wife. I can not say why I loved her. Her looks was the initial attraction of course, but it was something special about her.

I did not have any picture or thought in mind on who I would want to marry. In fact, I did not even have much thought on marrying. I just knew after a short time, it was her who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But she is not perfect and we have had our disagreements, but I still love her just as much as ever.

[Nynax]

Haven’t dated in awhile, but when I did, I looked for handsome, masculine and confident guys. I also wanted him to be a good person. If I was to date again in the future, I’d add being financially stable to the list.

Just wondering how financially stable is stable? Like "I make enough money for savings, a health 401k, and vacation once or twice a year + holidays" or "I make enough to get by, pay all my bills, but only have $200/m for savings or discretionary spending."?

[Deleted]

I look for someone that shares my ambitions and interests.
But its too late for dating, i found someone i wanted, we are heading towards making 5 kids and a fortune for them. An Empire named after MYSELF!
And from these 5 kids I DEMAND atleast 3-4 kids of their own. And one more thing, if gods see fit to give me daughters, their future husbands will still take MY NAME! As for sure we will be the dominant family.

I care not of social norms, i care of whos the dominant family (financially, behaviour wise and so on).

Im Tywin Lannister incarnate!

[Illuminance]

Just wondering how financially stable is stable? Like "I make enough money for savings, a health 401k, and vacation once or twice a year + holidays" or "I make enough to get by, pay all my bills, but only have $200/m for savings or discretionary spending."?

"Financially stable" is just a euphemism

[gyrados]

lol all these people saying financially stable lol what the hell are yall bringing to the table?

[Mistame]

Attractive, clean and not a cunt. Nothing else really matters since we're talking about dating and I'm not looking to go nuclear with any woman.

Looks and masculinity > honesty and loyalty? You've bantered yourself off there tbh.

There's no reason to date someone you're not attracted to.

[pateuvasiliu]

I know it's cliche but Jesus Christ personality. I've gotten over so many flaws just because the girl in question was interesting and assertive instead of the typical shy, quiet starfish that's as dull as dirt.

I feel like the gross majority of people is fucking copy pasted, they have no interests, no stories, they can't engage in coversation and be genuinely interesting to talk to. As soon as I find a person that fits my idea of interesting I'm willing to overlook a lot of physical flaws.

[Thoughtcrime]

I have to be attracted to them in the short term or it's not lasting until the long term anyway. So initially, looks are all that matters. I have a description for people I like that I'm not initially attracted to, I call them friends.

[ls-]

lol all these people saying financially stable lol what the hell are yall bringing to the table?

Well, I'm almost 30, that's kinda normal to expect financial stability from a person of approx my age.

Not being self-sufficient in terms of income in late 20s and early 30s means that person has a lot of other issues at hand.

[Cosmic Janitor]

Decent looking, being a decent human and being smart is usually what I'm looking for. I'm thinking about dropping the later though, it has turned into solving a 4d rubics cube by now and it seems I have lost the manual.

[Rudkobing]

1. She's a good person.
2. She's attractive both inside and out.

[fwc577]

I look for a lot of things.

Obviously, I have to look at her and feel a sense of connection. However, this is surprisingly, something that can come with time. Someone can be unattractive and the way they carry themselves, feel about themselves, and the way they make me feel about myself will go a lot further than someone with great tits and a nice ass.

I also look toward people who are more independent. I don't want to financially support someone else. I also don't need someone who is going to cling to me until my dying breath after they shot me for trying to break up with them.

The single most important thing is showing kindness. I knew someone who is HOT. She reminded me of a punk version of Uma Thurman. She could suck a golf ball from a garden hose. And she was a very independent person. However, she was one mean bitch. She would insult you, laugh, and say it was just a joke! She would put down your friends and your family. Eventually, despite the fact that her craziness was an aphrodisiac, I had to move on and break it off because she was toxic.

[gyrados]

Thats fair enough you def want both of yall to be financially stable in a relationship.

[Stelio Kontos]

At my age (31) I expect a man (close to my same age) to be financially stable. If you live paycheck to paycheck, that's not being responsible in my book and I'd pass on dating that person. My expectations have gotten higher as I've gotten older, which is normal. I wouldn't expect a younger person, who's just starting out, to be financially stable. A person 30+ should be, though. They've had time to get a career and build a life for themselves.

I'm 35, good-looking (according to some I've met), and make a good six-figure salary, and put 1/3 of my monthly income into savings.

Why would I go for a mother in her 30s when I can get a hot 20-something? That's not a shot at you, I understand your point. But just asking what you have to offer a man in that position that a younger, more attractive woman without kids wouldn't?

- - - Updated - - -

As for what I look for...

For dating, is she physically attractive and can I tolerate her personality out of bed?

For marriage, well, I do have a list of things I'm looking for.

1. An attractive, slim, healthy appearance
2. No older than 30 preferably
3. No kids (I could look past kid(s) from a previous marriage for the right girl, but 3 kids from 3 different ex-bfs? No way)
4. Educated, or from a good background (she needs to be classy enough I don't worry about taking her to formal functions)
5. Takes some pride in her appearance/doesn't go out in sweats or pajamas
6. Somewhat similar cultural/religious background (Eastern Orthodox preferably, but I could make it work with a Catholic or a Jewish girl from the same regional background)
7. Somewhat traditional in her views on gender roles. I'm not a troglodyte, but I like a woman that likes being feminine and being lady-like. I'm fine dating crazy, tattooed wild women, hell, I seem to attract them, but not looking to marry one.

[RobertoCarlos]

I look them in the eyes and sneakily check out thier boobs/body when they look away

[Stelio Kontos]

many are looking for an equal when it comes to finding a partner (not a woman they just want to have sex with)

But I can't find that with a younger woman too. It's not just about the sex.

But, I can see your point about a man that has kids. I can see how that'd be a better option for a woman that has kids too.

[Mormolyce]

I've actually never dated, at least not deliberately. My entire romantic history was kind of an accident.

But if you mean what I'm attracted to... uh it's complicated. Common themes: unusual, independent, funny, "intelligent" (whatever that means), interesting...

Elon Musk?

Jeff Bezos?

When someone says "financially stable" to me that means "not a frequently unemployed person who constantly makes promises they don't keep and keeps stringing you along". Not "famous millionaire".

[Belize]

Someone that isn't creepily filling out a spreadsheet with answers taken from the innumerable amounts of threads asking seemingly mundane questions on an off-topic section of a video game forum.

[Stelio Kontos]

As said, not every guy is looking for a relationship with a much younger woman. I get the appeal, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t turn down having sex with a younger guy, but I wouldn’t want to be in a steady relationship with one, just because our lifestyles would properly vastly differ. I’d likely see him as still maturing and living a more fast-paced, risky life. That’s not me anymore. Guys my age often times view 20 year old women the same way. I actually know a lot that find them obnoxious, which is normal... they’re on different levels.

I'm 35, and I generally avoid a 19 or 20 yr old for anything serious, but comparing a 27 yr old old to a 20 yr old they can be worlds apart.

I've known 27 or 28 yr old women that had their shit together much more than some women I know in their 30s that are absolute messes.