Share your funny/wierd drunk stories

[muto]

Woke up with my hands wrapped around a porcelain throne, and my friends dad standing over me with a fishing pole.

[Bartock]

One excellent summer day during a summer term at University - some friends and I started fairly early (around 11:30) and decided it was too nice to drink inside, but too early to be blowing money at a patio somewhere. Since we didnt really have any patio furniture or camp chairs to sit on, we got the brilliant idea to move the one guy's entire living room (complete with 2 couches, coffee and end tables, lamps, TV, Xbox and Stereo) out of his 2 floor balcony and onto the front lawn of the small apartment building (only 3 units) he lived in.

To add to the fun, we took a couple of the signs he had stolen from bars, the kind with the chalk board on them, and wrote on them "You Honk We Drink" and placed them facing traffic. Now he lived on a fairly busy street, complete with multiple bus routes. We proceeded to have the best day/night of drinking I have ever had. Many, many cars, and quite a few buses honked when they saw they sign, so we got quite drunk. At one point the cops stopped by to check it out, but we were doing nothing illegal, so they got in there car, honked a couple of times and drove off.

As the afternoon wore on, we set up a kiddie pool to cool off in, invited more friends over, and ended up having a party - which got quite a few more honks, as the pool became the central location for most of our female friends to drink and dance in their bikinis.

The party lasted well into the night, and the living room set up stayed outside until the next day, as a good 10 of us had crashed on the couches and lawn.

All in all, a sort of stupid idea of moving the couches out for lack of seating on a nice day, turned into an epic party on the front lawn that even the cops thought was fun. The only real issue was when my friend's (the guy whose apartment it was) girlfriend got back in the morning (she had gone home to see her parents for the day before) got home and raged at him for moving a healthy chunk of their furniture outside.

[Buryit]

I woke up once in a cold strange room and after 30 minutes or so I decided it was jail.

[Deleted]

It was end of freshers week back in september. Obviously alcochol flowed like water and everyone got pissed. After 4 hours of jumping like retards in on-campus nightclub we decided to head back and drink even more. However as we were leaving i got distracted by a big ass bouncy castle just oudside. Me being me, i had to have a go so 3 of us got on. Im my high state on intoxication i decided to pop a front flip, i looked left and then right and after making sure i have enough room i went for it. It went rather badly. I ended up with broken cheek bone in 3 places and dislocated jaw. I was convinced i only managed to flip 180 degrees and landed on my face. As i landed i had no sense of direction and no clue where up and down was. However just few days ago i met a person that was present when that happened and said that i landed on my feet, but didn't manage to stop and kneed myself in the face. Imagine the jokes flying at me when i got out of hospital O.o

[Deleted]

As i landed i had no sense of direction and no clue where up and down was. However just few days ago i met a person that was present when that happened and said that i landed on my feet, but didn't manage to stop and kneed myself in the face. Imagine the jokes flying at me when i got out of hospital O.o

Off-topicish: I've done something similar but on a trampoline, bit through my lip due to having my knee go up to my jaw, had to go the hospital to get it looked at. D:

on-topic:
After one evening out when I had pretty much just turned 18, some guy in the company was really, really drunk. We were on our way back to his apartment and we pass a clothing shop and there was this doll or what they're called in English which they show clothing on standing outside, he walked into it and fell over, as he was trying to get up it fell over him and he thought someone was picking a fight with him and started wrestling with the doll and gave it a beating. Was pretty funny at the moment but he had to pay for the doll, he went there next day and explained to them what had happened to the doll.

[MrWolly]

Well, I'm usually burned to the point that I can't move.

[Deleted]

Holding eggs and a sandwich for a chav while he threw the eggs at a window so he wold buy us vodka (was like 14)

Falling down a subway - throwing up all over a bus (was all red - vodka mixed with red wkd) and getting of said bus 7 miles early and waking up in my bed. was like 15 XD


Telling a bunch of hard nuts captain falcon style 'Show me ya moves' and having to leg it.

[vindicatorx]

I personally have never done anything that bad while drunk but my friends sure do. I have one ex-roommate that had a habit of pissing himself when he drank too much. Whenever one of the other roommates had a date or went home we would get him drunk and put him in their bed for fun hoping he would piss in the bed. Best time was when the one roommate came home at like 2am and found him asleep in his bed knowing exactly why we put him there.

[Digglett]

Mine aren't terribly interesting. First time I ever got drunk I was 15 or so I think, my sister's (asshole) ex boyfriend brought a bottle of vodka, and we mixed it into soda bottle so we could walk around the mall and drink it. I got TRASHED, everything was warped, I had no conception of time or what was going on, I remember talking A LOT, even trying to talk to the janitor who was telling us the mall was closing and we had to leave, don't remember what about. I kept begging this guy to buy me a taco at taco bell or something, then I was leaning on my sister, saying how awesome she is and stuff, and apparently convinced her asshole ex to propose to her, and she of course said no, so he flipped out and kicked a stop sign, cops got involved, and I started to cry, because I thought I got my sister in trouble with the law or something. :S My mom busted me, because I couldn't stop talking in the car, and I never do that.

Other time.. I used to drink a lot and talk on vent with friends, well, it was mostly singing and rambling constantly. So I drank a whole entire case of this super girly lemonade stuff in less than an hour, and was blitzed, I was talking like I had been on vent, and while holding the push to talk key, leaned over and puked all over, not once, but twice. Everyone was cracking up on vent, and had to remind me that I should clean it up or something, so I went downstairs to tell my mom I puked, and passed out on the sofa, of course not before puking about 5 times, once on my dog. I didn't see her laying under where I was laying, and just leaned over to puke.

Was sick the whole following week after, and I still get sick in the stomach when I think of the taste of that drink, it reminds me of puking. And, I haven't drank since, that was two years or so? Was horrible, never again.

[mini98]

The first time I went out drinking in the town I had too much to drink, I'm known as a quiet guy but everyone vowed to invite me out more often after that, and I also became known as the group tank after I turned around and punched my best mate for irritating the life out of me even after I told him to stop, from this I've continually vowed to never drink enough to be aggressive to my mates ever again however I have thrown one 10 foot before because he was insistent on proving that some random chav in the street wasn't my best mate, and I couldnt be bothered with a fight.

---------- Post added 2012-01-11 at 08:52 PM ----------

Was sick the whole following week after, and I still get sick in the stomach when I think of the taste of that drink, it reminds me of puking. And, I haven't drank since, that was two years or so? Was horrible, never again.

Same situation with me and beer, took me a month to not feel nausious at the smell of it, now I drink cider and my max is like 6 pints otherwise rather than getting especially wobly I just black out get very protective, hug everyone and be aggressive if someone does something that I dont liike. However I am proud I still wouldnt touch a girl (although I did lift one up in a bear hug apparently) while in that state. Also I dont pass out, and I managed to take a bottle of tequila off someone who decided downing it would be a good idea.

On new year I invited two mates over, about 2 am one decided to "confess" he had schizophenia had a breakdown, kept supposedly coming up as different personalities after passing out for like 30 seconds each time, and even tried to stab my best mate with his keys. (which would of worked if I hadnt made a vow to never get very drunk again and grabbed the fucka :P)

[Xanjori]

I was at uni, and we went to the uni bar as a group of 5, and when that shut decided we needed to be more drunk so headed down into the city centre. After completing drunkness, we decide to head back, I grab a cab with the girl leaving the 3 other guys to get the next cab. However one of them seems to just get left behind, so we all make home and realise one is missing. We figure its no biggie, except we dont hear from him for two days, at which point we're getting worried. I then recieve a text from him "Do you have any idea how I got home? My frontrooms trashed and my shirt is missing"

[Kissoon]

Friends stag... we decided to have a magical mystery tour. Rented a cube van, put couches in the back, booze, keg and plastered porn magazine pictures all over the inside. The idea was to have everyone sit in the back and drive to various locations we hung out in the past growing up. At each location we had to chug a pitcher then move on. The last place was going to be a strip joint.

So we're headed to the strip joint going through downtown. By this time I had moved to the passenger seat because the back was full of piss, puke and drunk guys. I'm kinda drunk myself but we had a designated driver. I notice bright lights in the side view mirror and notice its a cop. I start to say "I hope thats not for us..." when this white van cuts in front of us and SWAT guys pour out with guns.

I get yanked from the van and slammed on the ground, arm wrenched behind my back and this big guy puts his knee on my neck. Then I'm yanked up slammed against the van and told to open the back and don't try anything. I try to explain whats going on the guy is raging and yells for me to SHUT THE F-- UP!

So these cops all fan out and have guns aimed and I'm trying to talk and the guy shoves me. Inside the back the guys obviously think its the last stop, the strip joint.

I open the hatch and the door slides up. All the guys are about to leap out when they see all the cops and they stop in their tracks. Beer, piss, nudey magazine pages start to flow out and the cops lower their weapons and look inside see all the walls with porn magazine pic's and they all start howling with laughter.

They allow me to explain and are apologetic and say that someone reported a suspicious van driving around behind places and all these guys jumping out...

There was only one douchebag cop. Who started asking if we had open alcohol and how much trouble we could get in. He hopped up into the back of the cube van where the guys who lacking anywhere to piss, went into the empty liquor bottles. So this cop is picking up bottles full of piss raging "YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU GET INTO FOR HAVING OPEN LIQUOR!!" While he's pouring it out and sniffing it... I'm trying not to laugh and just keep my mouth closed.

In the end they ended up getting us all cabs to the strip joint and just told us to leave the cube van in a nearby parking lot. No charges laid.

[Rigimi44]

Friends stag... we decided to have a magical mystery tour. Rented a cube van, put couches in the back, booze, keg and plastered porn magazine pictures all over the inside. The idea was to have everyone sit in the back and drive to various locations we hung out in the past growing up. At each location we had to chug a pitcher then move on. The last place was going to be a strip joint.

So we're headed to the strip joint going through downtown. By this time I had moved to the passenger seat because the back was full of piss, puke and drunk guys. I'm kinda drunk myself but we had a designated driver. I notice bright lights in the side view mirror and notice its a cop. I start to say "I hope thats not for us..." when this white van cuts in front of us and SWAT guys pour out with guns.

I get yanked from the van and slammed on the ground, arm wrenched behind my back and this big guy puts his knee on my neck. Then I'm yanked up slammed against the van and told to open the back and don't try anything. I try to explain whats going on the guy is raging and yells for me to SHUT THE F-- UP!

So these cops all fan out and have guns aimed and I'm trying to talk and the guy shoves me. Inside the back the guys obviously think its the last stop, the strip joint.

I open the hatch and the door slides up. All the guys are about to leap out when they see all the cops and they stop in their tracks. Beer, piss, nudey magazine pages start to flow out and the cops lower their weapons and look inside see all the walls with porn magazine pic's and they all start howling with laughter.

They allow me to explain and are apologetic and say that someone reported a suspicious van driving around behind places and all these guys jumping out...

There was only one douchebag cop. Who started asking if we had open alcohol and how much trouble we could get in. He hopped up into the back of the cube van where the guys who lacking anywhere to piss, went into the empty liquor bottles. So this cop is picking up bottles full of piss raging "YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU GET INTO FOR HAVING OPEN LIQUOR!!" While he's pouring it out and sniffing it... I'm trying not to laugh and just keep my mouth closed.

In the end they ended up getting us all cabs to the strip joint and just told us to leave the cube van in a nearby parking lot. No charges laid.

That Was Absolutely Amazing!

[Rageissues]

magical mystery tour

That truly was an epic tale.

/shameless bump

[Deleted]

Harhar, I party hard every weekend with my group
It's always fun and some weird things happen.

The one time we brought a friend that never drinks and is like brave (he's my nerdy friend) and he was all like: 'i'm a man and can drink 20 beer'.
After the 6th he stopped, starred me for like 10mins and then all the sudden just throws up on my arm
And the funny thing is at that point he was sooo drunk that he didn't realize he just threw up and kept on drinking another 7 beer
The next day I asked him about it and he seriously argued about him throwing up on my arm, tho like 4 other ppl saw it ^^

[Rageissues]

^^^ Yeah I'm afraid to take first timers with me anymore for that very reason, you never know what kind of drunk a person is. Like this last November me and my best friend invited a pretty religious kid who we are both mutually friends with to a house with like six or seven other people... you know, the perfect situation for the first time 'cause we can all watch and make sure he doesn't kill himself. I was hyping this day up to myself for like a year, 'cause I KNEW he was going to be the most hilarious drunk I had ever seen... but oh no... I was very wrong. He was a philosophical, religious drunk. He spent like twenty minutes trying to convert someone to Christianity who was already a Christian, and then he told me later that night, "I love you, but I would be SO better off without you guys." which as you can imagine, I didn't appreciate too much.

I got back at him, though, later that night when we all were falling asleep. His religiousness was at a fever pitch, so with that came the homophobia. So he and my best friend were falling asleep in the same bed, so I dove between them 'cause the floor was not very comfortable at the time. While I am not gay, I sure can play the part when I'm drunk if the need arises, so I ripped off my belt and through it across the room to set the mood and began spooning with him as tight as possible, my leg completely wrapped around his, calling him sweetheart and such. He finally lost it when I began singing Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", the part that goes "Lets go all the way tonight! No regrets, just love!"

[Xothic]

One night, me and about 6 friends all dropped two tabs of acid (yeah it's not alcohol, but hell.) After about 2 hours, it was me and a close friend stumbling through the side streets of an unfamiliar neighbourhood, tripping fucking balls. At one point we got chased by police, until we somehow found my sister whom was at a nearby mc donalds and convinced her to drive us to the fair.

Good times.

[Scottishpaladin]

I got one but I dont think it would be apropriate to post on here since it involves sex... haha

But I cant think of anything else since I have a problem with blacking out everytime I get drunk and always wake up with "the fear".

[Deleted]

Never really done anything too dangerous/amazing/wierd when drunk, think the oddest i've done was drink half a bottle of absinthe and half a bottle of jaeger then eat a cat treat :/

[joji91]

sup people. I know this thread is pretty old but I just had to sign up and share my story.. So last night i was drinking with some buddies of mine nothing but Coronas so around 2:30 am i decided to go buy more (i was already hammered) so i said to everyone i will be right back. After that i dont remember anything.. So today in the morning I i was woken up by a guy on a club car. I was laying down on the grass of a country club soaked by the sprinklers.. okay so i managed to get home on the bus. Couple of hours ago i called one of my buddies and asked her what had happen to me. She told me that i just left saying i was gonna come back but had left my keys and iPhone there. She also mentioned I was using my wallet as a phone trying to call someone. okay so thats not all after i got home laid down for a bit i had to go tinkle. well when i pulled it out i had a freaking condom on... I do not know what happen. I feel like the movie Hangover trying to put a puzzle together.. But its the funniest shit i have ever done.. I think... well yea this is my story...