What do I do about this?
I am a perfectionist of sorts. I'm never really happy with myself. No matter what I do, I always gotta look on what I could've done better. I got the highest grades in several subjects in school one time - I wasn't happy about it because it didn't feel like it was enough. I interact with people and I keep telling myself what to do next time. I try next time, but then there's something else, it's like a vicious cycle. I've had some relations just... stopping since I felt like I was too obnoxious or just not good enough, so I stopped. I don't feel I can talk, or even think, about problems I have because then I feel like I'm feeling sad for myself which I hate when people does.
I never feel my contribution to anything is good enough. If I do a test I could always do better - I passed a math test by one correct answer once, and I had a hard time accepting that I actually passed since I felt that I could've gotten a few more points. I keep comparing myself with other people and see how succesful they are, and how I haven't achieved all that much. There's always people who's both nice, popular and smarter than me, who gets better grades than me and stuff.
Hell, even making forum threads makes me feel uncomfortable, and how I can always make my arguments better. If someone criticises me I feel like crawling back into a hole and never coming out again, it just feels horrible when someone disagrees and comes with a good reason why. I'm always afraid I post in a wrong sub-forum, or that my threads get locked. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. The only thing I can say for sure is that I'm smart. Maybe not as smart as a lot of other people, but I feel I'm smarter than average. But I don't feel that I'm nice, nor funny, nor good-looking. Just smart.
And yeah, I'm 17 and I'm in puberty, but I've had this issue for quite a while and I'm pretty sure my self-criticism isn't going to halt out of nowhere once my piberty is gone, so I wonder what I should do about it?
And yes, I ask on these forums because I know a lot of you fellers are smart and can hopefully answer some way to cure this. It's kinda tearing me apart. How do I stop self-criticising myself?