People who throw out random comments/insults?

[primusl0l]

I don't know what it is...maybe everyone gets this.

I feel like...people randomly throw out insults at me for no reason at all.

I'll be talking to someone normally or debating with them in a friendly manner... and then all of a sudden they'll throw out a random insult...and im like "err wot?" Before I got my first girlfriend, I'd constantly be called a virgin....but not in a FULL ON direct way...more if Im just talking to someone and they say "xx is a virgin haeheh" in a joking manner...but I don't understand why it's randomly being brought up - like pretty often.

I really have never understood why people do this. It's not complete strangers, it's more so family/friends and friends of friends who don't really know me, but know of me.

Is this just random banter or what? I don't show it but it really pisses me off because I never do it to anyone...and it seems to be said to me a lot.

I just ignore people when they say stuff like this. The thing is it's not said in a angry/forceful/threatening way, it's said in a calm/random/joking way...so I feel like I can't show them that Im angry, but I really want to punch their teeth in.

The main people who don't say things like this to me are my parents...my sisters boyfriend....pretty much only people that wouldn't talk shit to me or are too scared to shit talk me.....but pretty much most of my friends and friends of friends do random shit like that. When they do it makes me dislike them a lot and I just ignore it and pretend like nothing happened and in the future I just avoid the person because I don't like being around people that just throw out random insults.

I am a really happy easy going person, I pretty much never get angry with people...it's always people getting angry with me....and If I am angry...I don't take it out on other people, I just hide it and get over it. Is it because I am like this that it makes me a target for things like this?

Because of things like this, I avoid big social situations where lots of people are around, because it happens in any situation randomly, even when everything is just perfect, some douchebag will come in and ruin my day with something like this.

Would people notice that I am always happy and friendly? Could that be a reason why I am targetted for things like this? People just don't like other people being happy? Seriously what the hell man?

[Deleted]

People will keep talking trash to you if you let them. The might not mean it in a bad way, or they might. It's probably different from person to person.
What you DO need, is to lay down some ground rules in how you let people treat you.

If people cross your boundary, you need to tell them nicely, but firmly. Don't ask them to stop. Tell them. There is a hell of a difference. The only way, other than slapping the shit out of someone is to make them 'respect you authoritaaa'.

Also... lol virgin!

[primusl0l]

People will keep talking trash to you if you let them. The might not mean it in a bad way, or they might. It's probably different from person to person.
What you DO need, is to lay down some ground rules in how you let people treat you.

If people cross your boundary, you need to tell them nicely, but firmly. Don't ask them to stop. Tell them. There is a hell of a difference. The only way, other than slapping the shit out of someone is to make them 'respect you authoritaaa'.

Also... lol virgin!

Yeah but when it's said..it's said when everything is nice/friendly/calm. It's never said in angry/aggressive manner. So because of this I don't feel reacting to it in an angry/upset way is necessary. I just pretend I didn't hear it or whatever.

I notice the people who respect me...never do this to me...my parents don't do this to me, my sisters boyfriend doesn't say this to me...so it's like anyone who has respect for me doesn't do it. So when a friend of a friend does say this to me...I put that person on my list of "i dont like this person, they dont respect me...im going to avoid them and have nothing to do with them in the future"

If someone did it in an aggressive/angry manner I react...but as I said it's never done in that way.

[Lily Crowley]

If they talk shit to you, put them in place. If they don't shape up, either smack their face in or cut contact.

The "lol virgin" thing is so ridiculous I don't have words. So fucking what huh? Then again, maybe they do it because they themselves are virgins and feel so damn insecure.
Still not an okay thing to do.

[Snow White]

How old are you / whats the age group?

[NotValidAnymore]

Well, that makes no sense. I mean, I know that guys like to throw "insults" as a sort of "bro"-joke, but otherwise, these random insults just... sound kind of weird.

If you don't like the random insults, then you should tell them so. If they keep doing it, then I suggest not hanging around with them anymore. Some people are just rude by standard like that, and should be avoided.

[primusl0l]

How old are you / whats the age group?

Age group anywhere from 15-25.

The 15-20's being my cousins or other family members and the 20-25's being my friends of friends etc.

[Snow White]

Age group anywhere from 15-25.

The 15-20's being my cousins or other family members and the 20-25's being my friends of friends etc.

That explains it. Immaturity.

[cFortyfive]

Friends till mid 30s usually business men - still talking trash. If you can't take a little friendly bantering from people close to you you should probably look for the reason it gets you so mad.

[Deatheryn]

Regardless if they do it in good fun or not YOU need to LAY DOWN THE LAW! Tell them that shit pisses you off and it is rude as hell and if they continue they will get curb stomped! They do it to you because you let them! Once you set them straight they will know in the future their words/actions will have consequences! They likely see you as a wuss and are doing it on purpose!

[Docdruid]

How old are you / whats the age group?

I was just thinking about that, I am going on a limb and say you're probably between 16 and 19, I say this because usually at this age we tend to think everything is about us.
I might have not fully understand you're post, because what I read is that you feel upset for people making jokes about someone, quoting you "...but not in a FULL ON direct way...more if Im just talking to someone and they say "xx is a virgin haeheh" in a joking manner...but I don't understand why it's randomly being brought up - like pretty often."
So basically he is making a joke about someone and you think he is indirectly joking about you, so seems you are projecting some kind of issue.
Anyway I think you should just ignore and if you don't like those type of jokes avoid that people or if you like them just tell them that it bothers you.
I have a friend that cannot stand cursing, and I curse a lot, once he told me I stopped doing that when he is around and asked common friends to do the same.

[Aylasita]

Try simply belittling what they say like you are just ashamed on their behalf. ppl who feel the need to do this are ppl who are insecure, and for some reason believe that it's cool or that it makes them cool or something to say these things. Making them insecure is a good bet.

If you just glance over at them and says something like.. "seriously dude?... grow up" amd then instantly ignore them again. or just look at them with a "omg you are so lame.. what did you just say" look. (raised eyebrows looking at them just slightly tilting your head) a small giggle / sigh laugh and you got it sold..Or something similar along those lines, you will make them feel not so very cool for it, and make it pretty obvious that it doesn't bother you, you just find it lame.

However, this requires being able to portray a fair bit of confidence and attitude. If you dont think you will be able to preform to that, don't set yourself up for a fall.

[Deleted]

I don't know what it is...maybe everyone gets this.

I feel like...people randomly throw out insults at me for no reason at all.

I'll be talking to someone normally or debating with them in a friendly manner... and then all of a sudden they'll throw out a random insult...and im like "err wot?" Before I got my first girlfriend, I'd constantly be called a virgin....but not in a FULL ON direct way...more if Im just talking to someone and they say "xx is a virgin haeheh" in a joking manner...but I don't understand why it's randomly being brought up - like pretty often.

I really have never understood why people do this. It's not complete strangers, it's more so family/friends and friends of friends who don't really know me, but know of me.

Is this just random banter or what? I don't show it but it really pisses me off because I never do it to anyone...and it seems to be said to me a lot.

I just ignore people when they say stuff like this. The thing is it's not said in a angry/forceful/threatening way, it's said in a calm/random/joking way...so I feel like I can't show them that Im angry, but I really want to punch their teeth in.

The main people who don't say things like this to me are my parents...my sisters boyfriend....pretty much only people that wouldn't talk shit to me or are too scared to shit talk me.....but pretty much most of my friends and friends of friends do random shit like that. When they do it makes me dislike them a lot and I just ignore it and pretend like nothing happened and in the future I just avoid the person because I don't like being around people that just throw out random insults.

I am a really happy easy going person, I pretty much never get angry with people...it's always people getting angry with me....and If I am angry...I don't take it out on other people, I just hide it and get over it. Is it because I am like this that it makes me a target for things like this?

Because of things like this, I avoid big social situations where lots of people are around, because it happens in any situation randomly, even when everything is just perfect, some douchebag will come in and ruin my day with something like this.

Would people notice that I am always happy and friendly? Could that be a reason why I am targetted for things like this? People just don't like other people being happy? Seriously what the hell man?

they probably just dont like you very much, its your own fault

[Beggattron]

My friends and I joke around all the time throwing insults at each other. There's this guy I work with that I call a terrorist because he looks middle eastern but he's actually Albanian. And he makes fun of me for being Jewish, we don't dislike each other it's just what we do.

Another example my friend has really short shorts like way above the knee short, and he wears them all the time in summer so I say those shorts are gay. The best way to deal with your problem is just insult them back about anything. Their appearance, something they say, or just how they act. If you ask them to stop because it hurts your feelings they're not going too.

[Deleted]

If you cannot handle a bit of friendly banter and piss taking, please never join the armed forces.

[primusl0l]

My friends and I joke around all the time throwing insults at each other. There's this guy I work with that I call a terrorist because he looks middle eastern but he's actually Albanian. And he makes fun of me for being Jewish, we don't dislike each other it's just what we do.

Another example my friend has really short shorts like way above the knee short, and he wears them all the time in summer so I say those shorts are gay. The best way to deal with your problem is just insult them back about anything. Their appearance, something they say, or just how they act. If you ask them to stop because it hurts your feelings they're not going too.

I have fun and joke around.

But when you're just not doing anything like that and something like that is said...it really takes me back like...I am not at all expecting it...and it's just said? Calling someone a virgin in-front of other people randomly for no reason at all is a little different to calling someone a terrorist or a jew for looking like one. It's just like...why say that...why say in-front of other people....why, what went through this persons mind to just randomly bring it up. Is this something people do to feel better about themselves, belittling people infront of others so they "cooler"

As I said, not everyone I know does this. It's only people I feel don't respect me. The people who I know respect me never say shit like this to me.

The reason it took me so long to get a girlfriend is because I am really fussy, and I don't like many people enough to get into further relationships with them. I am 24 and it was only this past year I found a girl I really liked and who I am still with at the moment. But I still get these insults.

It just annoyed me because these guys were going out with girls I wasn't attracted to at all, like they were just really ugly or overweight or both...and I don't get it. In my mind I am thinking yeah grats bro you're with a whale and you're not a virgin....but I'd rather stay virgin then just go out with any girl just because it's the socially acceptable thing to be doing.

No offence against ugly or fat or really fucking annoying people I am just not attracted to it....and 90% of girls in my area are exactly that. Fat,ugly and annoying to boot.

[Snow White]

I have fun and joke around.

But when you're just not doing anything like that and something like that is said...it really takes me back like...I am not at all expecting it...and it's just said?

Calling someone a virgin in-front of other people randomly for no reason at all is a little different to calling someone a terrorist or a jew for looking like one.

It's just like...why say that...why say in-front of other people....why, what went through this persons mind to just randomly bring it up. Is this something people do to feel better about themselves, belittling people infront of others so they "cooler"

You're spot on. Teenagers are the most insecure people on the planet and they will put you down in front of others to embarrass you for a boost of confidence.

[primusl0l]

You're spot on. Teenagers are the most insecure people on the planet and they will put you down in front of others to embarrass you for a boost of confidence.

I am going to just say this to next person who tells me that.

Btw

The only time i actually reacted to a comment like this, the one time...I got into a fight.

As I said before I am fussy with women. When I was 21 or 22 a friend of friend said this "ohoh virgin bra"...randomly out of nowhere. I thought "I dont give a fuck im gona actually respond to this idiot"

I told him I'd rather be a virgin then be going out with a obese ugly annoying chick like you're right now. He fucking raged at me instantly attacked me, ended up brawling for like a minute or 2.

See what I mean? People can dish it out...but once you react to them they go nuts. This is why I've learned to just ignore them and just put them on a list of people I will avoid contact with.

[Deleted]

Punch them hard on the arm. That is what I do. :P

[birdfly]

My brother in law always says i'm gay. He's just insecured about his own balls, and deep down he is a weak minded coward.

Yea they will toss insults on you to make you feel like " you know your place scum" but really it's just a failed attempt to cover up their lack of confidence. I know how that is. It almost works after you hear it for years but then you remind your self that your better then insulting family and friends.