Whos last name should my son have?

[acer1234]

My GF and I are no longer together and were having a son in 2 months

She wants her last name.
I want my last name.


Legally who gets it?
Ideally who should get it?


Everyone always says if the parents arn't together that it goes to the fathers last name. But of course shes being a .... about it.

[Reeve]

I think if the parents aren't together it usually defaults to the woman's name, but I could be wrong. That's what I would have assumed anyway.

[Pendulous]

Probably whoever has full custody.

[lmenvs]

Well my parents were never married and I took my father's last name. And everyone else I know who was born with such conditions have had the same. So probably yours.

[Mayhem]

mine, my lastname is awesome

no seriously, peter max awesome

[Deleted]

Can you not just merge the two?

There are loads of people after spelling that do that and call their chiild Blah X-Y

[DarkTZeratul]

Are you sharing custody, or are you leaving him with her? If the former, yours. If the latter, hers.

[Toroc]

Can you not just merge the two?

There are loads of people after spelling that do that and call their chiild Blah X-Y

Why would you want to do that?

[Illuwin]

If its a boy, he should be taking your last name. That's a man law...

Legally it depends on who has custody of the child.

I agree, but I believe the paperwork I filled out automatically used the maternal last name. My wifes last name is my own, so the problem resolved itself. It probably varies by state, although I'd have a tough time imagining any state having a law that was not maternally biased.

You're probably not going to have any legal say in the manner, as the only thing you typically are allowed to do after birth is sign paperwork claiming yourself as the biological father (or, if you don't, she may sue you for it). Unless you go to court (and win the case), I doubt you will be able to force the decision one way or the other, unless you come to a civil agreement with your ex.

[Deleted]

Why would you want to do that?

How else are they supposed to agree?

[Sivick]

if you aren't married i think it goes to the woman's name, but you'd have to check with a lawyer about that.

[Gallahadd]

afaik, children always take the man's name, I know a few people who had kids out of wedlock, and in all of the cases they children took the mans name, but that may just be the UK

[Maharishi]

How else are they supposed to agree?

Then when blah x-y has a kid with yadda a-b, they can name their kid a-b-x-y.

Hyphanated names can make sense for marriage, but it's shortsited for a kids name.

OT: It seems too personal of a question for anyone here to give an informed answer about the situation.

[DangerousD]

ok all these people are wrong major thing here is you need to be at the hospital when your son is being born they will ask who the father is because legally it's supposed to have your name unless you agree to give it her last name. MAKE SURE YOU ARE AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN SHE GIVES BIRTH.

The only time a baby get's the mother's maiden is when the father is not present.

[tj119]

Should take your last name, especially if it's a boy. Tell her to get the hell over it.

[Hottie4Hire]

In the US and the UK the father has no rights at all as a father unless the mother gives them to him (ie, demands child support). The mother could take the child and forbid you to ever see him/her again and you would never see them again. It does not matter if the mother admits you are the biological father and dna confirms it.

If you wanted rights in the child you should have been married. It's the way it works.

[Deleted]

Same thing as Ishau, pretty much.
Use a double surname, so for example;

David Shawe-Turner (random names.. Shawe and Turner being the 2 surnames).

It's your son, you have the right to him as much as his mother- as long as you're not filed as an unfit parent of course.
Once he's 18 (In the UK) he can choose to change it, if he so chooses.

Like my half-brother. A bit compilated, but.. My dad left my mum for woman B. Woman B left her boyfriend (unmarried) after he was born. But he has the boyfriend's surname. Completely different from mine and woman B's.

If your ex has even a shred of decency, she'll allow this. And you seem like a good guy to of got with a girl like that, so just talk to her and try get her to understand that without your name being passed on, then it'll probably feel like you only have half a son.

Good luck

[noteworthynerd]

Whoever has custody.

[Hottie4Hire]

ok all these people are wrong major thing here is you need to be at the hospital when your son is being born they will ask who the father is because legally it's supposed to have your name unless you agree to give it her last name. MAKE SURE YOU ARE AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN SHE GIVES BIRTH.

The only time a baby get's the mother's maiden is when the father is not present.

This isn't true. She can deny paternity and he wouldn't be able to prove it until after the baby is born.

The obvious thing to do is the "First Mother-Father" thing that plenty of kids have. It's not weird.

[Eace]

My GF and I are no longer together and were having a son in 2 months

She wants her last name.
I want my last name.


Legally who gets it?
Ideally who should get it?


Everyone always says if the parents arn't together that it goes to the fathers last name. But of course shes being a .... about it.

Yeah, and you make it sound like you're not being a dot dot dot dot about it, at all. Haha.

I think that if the parents are not married, and they don't agree about whose surname the child should have, the child will get the mother's surname? Could be wrong here, but that's how I think it is. At least in Finland.

If the child is going to live with you, let the child have his/her mother's name. And vice versa, of course. It's easier and more logical that way.

But if you really can't decide whether the child should have your surname or hers, maybe you could give him both? You know, with a hyphen? E.g. your surname is Smith and hers is Johnson: then the child is Johnson-Smith, or something like that.

Edit: Indeed, as Xaru said above me, the mother could easily deny paternity. So my advice: play it nice.