relationships: question about the "talking" stage

[dexterslab]

quick question on this stage.. i know its like pre-dating or whatever, but i am concerned about how frequently i should be talking to the chick in question. we talk to each other through a variety of methods, such as Skype, AIM, email, text, call, Facebook, twitter.. but since we are still in the early stages of our friendship, is it ok that we do not reach out to each other EVERY day? I would think no, since we would grow "tired" of each other quickly. i feel awful when i dont talk to her daily, but i have my life and she has hers. i do not want to give off the impression that i am not interested, but we do eventually end up talking to each other in some form or fashion a MINIMUM of once a week.

am i playing my cards right? i dont want to be too available as i have other things going on, but i dont want to allow too much time to pass to avoid showing any signs of disinterest, even though that is definitely NOT the case here. since women feel needed and wanted.. (just how they are) how do i operate within the extremes of too much vs too little?

[vizzle]

How long have you been doing this?

You're going to get friendzoned soon if you just talk to her everyday. You need to ask her out or show that you're interested in more than just talking.

[Duncanîdaho]

How long have you been doing this?

You're going to get friendzoned soon if you just talk to her everyday. You need to ask her out or show that you're interested in more than just talking.

Exactly. Ask her to so some activity where you are talking as people face to face. That's how you get to know someone and form a relationship. Not those things you mentioned, they are fluff. You will either grow a connection and relationship over time, or a friendship. Niether are bad, the first being ideal for you. You could also get flat out rejected, but some risks are worth their rewards, no?

To be clear I'm not saying you cannot form friendships on things like skype. But you seem to want more, so like Vizzle said if you keep doing that your going to get friendzoned for sure.

[starkey]

Have you actually meet her in person or is this done online only?

[dexterslab]

we've met face to face (including seeing her last weekend) and I plan on seeing her again next weekend. She has offered to cook for me, she wants to go on a walk, movies, bikeriding, etc..

we have gone out a few times in the past, just the two of us. she often texts me that she is thinking about me and that she hates when we dont talk, and looks forward to seeing me again..

---------- Post added 2012-02-29 at 12:49 PM ----------

she also gets excited and nervous before seeing me as well.

[Static Transit]

we've met face to face (including seeing her last weekend) and I plan on seeing her again next weekend. She has offered to cook for me, she wants to go on a walk, movies, bikeriding, etc..

we have gone out a few times in the past, just the two of us. she often texts me that she is thinking about me and that she hates when we dont talk, and looks forward to seeing me again..

---------- Post added 2012-02-29 at 12:49 PM ----------

she also gets excited and nervous before seeing me as well.

Hmm...I can't say whether or not that's a good thing at this point. You better show some interest soon, because it looks to me like either she's trying to come on strong, or she's starting to friendzone you...and most likely it's the latter.

[Deleted]

we've met face to face (including seeing her last weekend) and I plan on seeing her again next weekend. She has offered to cook for me, she wants to go on a walk, movies, bikeriding, etc..

we have gone out a few times in the past, just the two of us. she often texts me that she is thinking about me and that she hates when we dont talk, and looks forward to seeing me again..

---------- Post added 2012-02-29 at 12:49 PM ----------

she also gets excited and nervous before seeing me as well.

Ask her out - on a proper date.

You won't get stronger signals than you're already getting.

[Snow White]

Every couple is different. Don't follow the rules these forum goers are going to throw at you and just do what feels right. My husband and I talked every day for hours on end for 6 years before we got married. We're very happy and I consider him my best friend.

[dexterslab]

Every couple is different. Don't follow the rules these forum goers are going to throw at you and just do what feels right. My husband and I talked every day for hours on end for 6 years before we got married. We're very happy and I consider him my best friend.

Thanks. It's always a struggle moving too fast vs moving too slow.. do you think I have a chance with her? She offered to let me stay in her apartment (two-bedroom) and wanted to have food cooked for me before I get there. I plan on holding hands/kissing her at some point during my stay with her.

[Static Transit]

Yeah, just do what feels right. I mean, I was "best friends" with my current girlfriend for more than a year, talking constantly on AIM and the like before she managed to shake off her ex so I could ask her out.

[Primernova]

Making laugh > staring at (don't ask me why this works) > touching; are the basics. These are applied as needed during any early relationship.

If you stall on any one, you will falter.

[Snow White]

Thanks. It's always a struggle moving too fast vs moving too slow.. do you think I have a chance with her? She offered to let me stay in her apartment (two-bedroom) and wanted to have food cooked for me before I get there. I plan on holding hands/kissing her at some point during my stay with her.

Of course you have a chance with her. It sounds like she wants to play house with you, lol. Go on and make your move.

[dexterslab]

Of course you have a chance with her. It sounds like she wants to play house with you, lol. Go on and make your move.

Thanks for your honest opinion and not trolling me.

[Deleted]

You're going to get friendzoned soon if you just talk to her everyday. You need to ask her out or show that you're interested in more than just talking.

This is simply not true. I prefer to get to know girls before I choose to date them, and I've never been friendzoned. One girl I already knew over a year before dating her. Friendzones are simply for shy people or kind-yet-unattractive people.

Anyway, to the OP I'd say that you should do what feels right to you. There is not one way that is the best. Don't try to follow a set of rules or something.

---------- Post added 2012-02-29 at 02:43 PM ----------

i do not want to give off the impression that i am not interested

At the same time I've heard that many women fall for a man that seems mildly interested at first. Why? Because women begin to doubt if a guy really likes her. Giving off contradicting messages will make them think of you constantly. It also makes it seem like you are out of reach, and that they should take the chance right now or fear losing your interest. I don't know where I read this, but I can see it working in practice.

Just being a doormat for someone isn't very attractive. You will always be there, so women might look for an even better guy first. They have you as a backup anyway.

Anyway, that's just one way of how it works. Like I said, everyone is different. Maybe you are doing the right thing in your situation. I still say you should stick with what you think works for you. Nobody likes people not acting how they are.

Edit: I hadn't read your other posts. I think you're doing good, it seems to work.

[dexterslab]

This is simply not true. I prefer to get to know girls before I choose to date them, and I've never been friendzoned. One girl I already knew over a year before dating her. Friendzones are simply for shy people or kind-yet-unattractive people.

Anyway, to the OP I'd say that you should do what feels right to you. There is not one way that is the best. Don't try to follow a set of rules or something.

yeah that is kind of the feeling i got.. it really depends on the people in questions and the situation itself. i shouldnt be looking for a "one size fits all" approach. excellent advice.

[mercutiouk]

Had a chick I was friends with for a year, she spent a couple of weeks spending her evenings at my place before heading home or borrowing a couple of bits of clothing, curling up in my lap and staying over (I took the sofa).
You'll think back and kick yourself on the cue's you missed

[dexterslab]

alright, thanks for the additional info on the matter