Sick people a burden?

[Salandrin]

You had a loved one you dedicated most of your life to. But one day, she obtains a fatal disease that will eventually kill him/her out. In the midst of this, the loved one begins to lose his/her mind and lashes out at you in anger whenever you try to comfort him/her or even visit.

What would you do?

[Rec]

Take care of her... who would say otherwise?

[Fuzzzie]

Care for them? We are human beings..

[Professor Oak]

Care for them? We are human beings..

Means nothing.
I'd rather have them put out of their misery if they don't remember who I am and they spend the rest of their life in mental anguish.

[Scratches]

Eh, I'm not much for unrequited love.

If someone I 'love' no longer remembers who I am, then there's no reason for me to love them any more. I mean -- and especially if they get violent -- what's there that's left to love? Off to the home/ward/funny farm/quarantine zone with them.

If anything, that's more compassionate than trying to stick around like some kind of parasite ("I promised I'd stay by your side no matter what!" *sniffle* )... turn them over to someone who actually has the means/facilities to properly care for them (e.g., 24/7 medical attention, etc).


Perhaps I'm a bit too pragmatic for my own good? lol

[Fuzzzie]

Means nothing.
I'd rather have them put out of their misery if they don't remember who I am and they spend the rest of their life in mental anguish.

Your euthanizing them for your peace of mind, not theirs. I dunno if your comment was meant to impress or you're just being cold though.

[Jodah]

Get them the care they need. Had that problem already with my Grandmother. She had alzheimer's. I was the only grandkid that visited my grandparents regularly and she didn't remember who I was. Hell, she spent half the time calling my dad "Leonard" which was my grandfather's name. We got her the care she needed and visited her as often as we could.

[Ferrn]

Yep, Alzheimer's would be an example of that.. and personally I would do my best to care for my loved ones in such a situation

[Ragedaug]

Before he was put in a home, my Grandpa's Alzheimer got to the point where he appeared to have the mentality of a pre-speach toddler. This was just beyond the phase where he could still talk but mostly couldn't remember who anyone was.

He basically needed supervision 24x7 to keep him from seriously injuring himself or damaging the house, ie. turning on water and leaving it running, turning stovetop burners on, etc. After his wife suffered a serious head injury at work and had to be hospitalized, the rest of the family tried to take turns watching him. With us not having the resources to dedicate that kind of time to him and his wife not being capable of corralling him constantly the decision was made to put him in a home.

I'm definitely not for euthanizing the elderly that suffer these types of conditions, however I am also not in support of artificially extending their lives either. I can see very little sense to over drugging and/or have constant IV's pumping into the elderly who are in this type of condition, who are typically in a home, locked in a wheel chair, unable to socialize or even talk to others. I am all for providing whatever comfort we can to them, just not attempting to extend the type of loneliness and suffering that they are forced to endure.

[Khaza-R]

You had a loved one you dedicated most of your life to. But one day, she obtains a fatal disease that will eventually kill him/her out. In the midst of this, the loved one begins to lose his/her mind and lashes out at you in anger whenever you try to comfort him/her or even visit.

What would you do?

I know of an anecdote that's sadly appropriate for your question. A woman I know was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. Her husband left her shortly after because he didn't want to be burdened with her care while he could be starting his own family. To me, it really demonstrated the difference between of really loving a person for who and what they are, rather than the ideal they can give you.

So your question to me depends on one factor; do you really love the person your with, or just ideal of the what they can be in your life?

[Deleted]

I'd keep pushing until I come through that persons "barrier" and he/she realizes it's ok for people to care.

sounds like he/she has a hard time accepting what's gonna happend, and doesn't wanna be reminded of his/her condition OP. Just keep pushing he/she will come through eventually.

[HisaeDalv]

if I was the one being cared for I would rather be put out of misery; specially alzheimer and other degenerative illness.In fact I give everyone carte blanche to put me out of misery if I ever become a leech.

[Atrea]

I know we'd all like to say that we'd stand by them, because it's the humane thing to do - but it's another thing to actually be in that situation.
It's easy to cling to ideals when we aren't faced with the reality of them. I'm not saying that nobody would stand by their word - just that it's unrealistic to say something like "I would stand by them" with absolute certainty.

So, like I said, I'd like to say that I'd stand by them, but the truth is, I can't give an honest answer, because I've never been in that situation.

[Hedleyazg]

Your euthanizing them for your peace of mind, not theirs. I dunno if your comment was meant to impress or you're just being cold though.

You would have no idea if they have peace of mind or not in their state. It'd be tough to decide what to do unless they've given prior instructions.

[speedymonkey]

if I was the one being cared for I would rather be put out of misery; specially alzheimer and other degenerative illness.In fact I give everyone carte blanche to put me out of misery if I ever become a leech.

Pretty much this.

[Fuzzzie]

You would have no idea if they have peace of mind or not in their state. It'd be tough to decide what to do unless they've given prior instructions.

Or just having a heart. Ask yourself what you would want.

[Hedleyazg]

Or just having a heart. Ask yourself what you would want.

I wouldn't want to be locked up in a home like a $!@#ing vegetable is what I want.

[Fuzzzie]

I wouldn't want to be locked up in a home like a $!@#ing vegetable is what I want.

I wish this forum was binding power of attorney.

[Hedleyazg]

I wish this forum was binding power of attorney.

Yeah, me too. It'd be way cheaper.

[MechaMoose]

Stand by them. if they supported me then I would support them expecting nothing rather just paying back a dept.

I won't cast them out just to make my life easier. Life isn't always easy you have to keep going though.

as for the merciful death... No matter who it is they should know better then to ask me to bloody my hands with that of a loved one. It's something I am unable to do.