What faction did you play and how far into the game did you get? Your complaints are how I've felt in every other MMO I've played. I definitely did not get that "task list questing" feeling at all in ESO. Many of the quest givers are recurring, especially in DC, so the 'random NPC' feeling was significantly reduced. Likewise, most of the 'side quests' tend to fit into the main story arc somehow. There were some areas with self-contained storylines, but I still found those interesting little side quests.
As for the rest, it's continuously pointed out that the only reason you can even do half the quests you're given is because your soul is trapped in Coldharbour. Maybe that's not as 'cool' as being a dragonborn, but that is your defining attribute in ESO. It allows you to traverse into realms where the living can't tread, interact with the undead, etc.