Girlfriend broke up, the hard way

[Deleted]

Pre Story: My best friend since the first school class is a little bit strange and had a hard childhood.. altough he is good looking he is very very unsocial.

Because it was my best friend and my girlfriend understood him well, I wasn't angry if she hold against him or hugged him more often to make him feel good. At least at the start. Time went on, and I had a hard time in school & at work so I was stressed... not an excuse but I didn't called my girlfriend everytime to come over ( I thought it was normal to come around now and then so I didn't ask anymore "would you like to come over?" ). And sometimes I yelled at her, even though she only wanted my best.

2 weeks ago I told my girlfriend while we were lying on the bed "Watch out you don't fall in love with him" more jokingly but with a worried note. She said oh god never.. and we cuddled & kissed.

Now on Friday morning, we went to school and she was really really strange. But we hadn't had enough time so I went to my class, and she to hers. I wrote her an sms short after "Im worried that there might be something with him" then she instantly wrote bock "I don't want to lie.. perhaps it is.." I quickly wrote my best friend if he knew it. He told me yes. And that they already kissed. I was so angry. I got out of my classroom, got in hers, tears in my eyes and got her out of the classroom. She told me everything that it went on for now 5 days but only kisses. We talked a lot and then.. she didn't knew what to do. So we all 3 though of a break. Everyone from everyone. No messeges, no meetings. Nothing.

But before the day ended, my girlfriend messeged me that she would come over to make me not waiting any longer. She broke up with me in front of my house.

To be together with my best friend.

I'm totally devastated because I lost everything on that day. I don't know what to do.. I really do love her.
I don't know if the love between them is just a short affair because I didn't care well enough about her the last month..
Or if I could get her back.. If I wanted to ofcourse.. I don't know If I would take her back.

I talked to many many many friends, everyone is on my side ofcourse.. but everyone is biased.. so I thought this forum would be a great chance to get some tips.. totaly neutral.


Help me out here..

Sorry for my bad english, I'm from germany..

[Awfulist]

The only solution is violence. Smash his nose in, you'll thank me.

[Deleted]

The only solution is violence. Smash his nose in, you'll thank me.

No, it isn't. That will only get him trouble with the law because of a broken up relationship.

[Xeonxi]

Having a hard childhood isn't an excuse to be an asshole. Your friend isn't much of a friend. The best thing you can do for yourself is forget them both and move on.

[Awfulist]

No, it isn't. That will only get him trouble with the law because of a broken up relationship.

Wear a hood, he will feel 100x better.

[MasterHamster]

Love sucks.

How old are you? Like, highschool, college years?

[Deleted]

Love sucks.

How old are you? Like, highschool, college years?

all around 20's im 21

€: She doesn't look very happy. She capsuled up from everyone in her class today.

[frequency]

Put your big girl panties on deal with it and move on like the rest of the world?

[chazus]

Unfortunately, that sucks. It was good that she didn't drag things out. But it's not the end of the world. You're still in school, so it sounds like you're still pretty young. I hate to sound callous, but you'll get over it.

At this point, you have two choices, because the decision has already been made.

You can avoid them, move on, and deal with it.
or
You can get some space, get over it, and keep your two best friends.

I'm still very good friends with most of my ex's, and their boyfriends (one couple is my current heroic raid leader). Its hard. It hurts. You wont forget it. However you can either dwell on the things you cant control, or focus on the things you can.

EDIT: In regard to people saying "Your best friend is a terrible guy", live life a bit longer. Emotions are not something you can control like your DPS. Sometimes stuff happens, that you do not expect, nor feel like you have control over. We all like to think it, but we are creatures of emotion and intimacy that holds a much stronger power than we like to admit. Sometimes it seems like a 'mistake' and we figure it wont happen again. Then it does. And again. You were (despite how its seems) lucky that it only went on for a few days, and she's a hell of a girl for being up front about it. Many would just try to pass it off, or send a text or some crap.

Was it wrong? Yes. Does it suck? Definitely. Was it avoidable? Who knows. What's done is done. Revenge, self ptiy, or blame will fix nothing. Not the way you feel. Not the end result of anything. Moving on, and up, is the best solution that actually has results.

[Deleted]

First of all you really don't want her back, trust me, that's not wise at all. It might very well happen again with someone else, this was your best friend for god's sake. They are both awful people.

Also you don't seem angry. If by any chance you are, smashing his nose would be an excellent solution for you (he's not gonna call the cops and even if so, who cares). If you aren't angry then just go by with your life, there sadly isn't much advice on this side.

[Deleted]

That's harsh, dude... I know it's easy to say from a different perspective but the best thing you could do is try to get over it. If she left you for someone else she probably wasn't the right one for you anyway, so to speak. Keep it together:/

[Deleted]

Best friends for life are hard to come by.
2 lessons learnt here:
- That's not your best friend
- She's not the one for you

Cry, take a hot shower. It is hard and it will be hard, but you will meet new people, new friends, new girls.

[Deleted]

both of them ... your gf and your friend went behind your back ... having some kind of deeper relationship going on for 5 days is tough on you, i can understand ...

in your case those two would be dead for me ... give them the silent treatment ...
your gf because she cheated on you.
and your friend because he broke the bro-code (sounds silly, but is true ...). you simply don't do your best friends gf ...

i know that it is sad, especially more because you lost two people that you care for at the same time ... but you'll pull through.
since you said that you're going to school i estimate that it was one of your first relationships. and believe me ... the first relationship being THE RELATIONSHIP is a very rare coincident.

once you overcome your sorrow and forgot the two of the you'll feel good again, really good

[Vutar]

Pre Story: My best friend since the first school class is a little bit strange and had a hard childhood.. altough he is good looking he is very very unsocial.

Because it was my best friend and my girlfriend understood him well, I wasn't angry if she hold against him or hugged him more often to make him feel good. At least at the start. Time went on, and I had a hard time in school & at work so I was stressed... not an excuse but I didn't called my girlfriend everytime to come over ( I thought it was normal to come around now and then so I didn't ask anymore "would you like to come over?" ). And sometimes I yelled at her, even though she only wanted my best.

2 weeks ago I told my girlfriend while we were lying on the bed "Watch out you don't fall in love with him" more jokingly but with a worried note. She said oh god never.. and we cuddled & kissed.

Now on Friday morning, we went to school and she was really really strange. But we hadn't had enough time so I went to my class, and she to hers. I wrote her an sms short after "Im worried that there might be something with him" then she instantly wrote bock "I don't want to lie.. perhaps it is.." I quickly wrote my best friend if he knew it. He told me yes. And that they already kissed. I was so angry. I got out of my classroom, got in hers, tears in my eyes and got her out of the classroom. She told me everything that it went on for now 5 days but only kisses. We talked a lot and then.. she didn't knew what to do. So we all 3 though of a break. Everyone from everyone. No messeges, no meetings. Nothing.

But before the day ended, my girlfriend messeged me that she would come over to make me not waiting any longer. She broke up with me in front of my house.

To be together with my best friend.

I'm totally devastated because I lost everything on that day. I don't know what to do.. I really do love her.
I don't know if the love between them is just a short affair because I didn't care well enough about her the last month..
Or if I could get her back.. If I wanted to ofcourse.. I don't know If I would take her back.

I talked to many many many friends, everyone is on my side ofcourse.. but everyone is biased.. so I thought this forum would be a great chance to get some tips.. totaly neutral.


Help me out here..

Sorry for my bad english, I'm from germany..

It will hurt for awhile, there is no magic pill to get over it other than time. Ten years from now you will look back and think "WoW, I'm glad that happened. Why was I ever with that horrible person."

[coldfiredragon]

Help me out here..

There are other girls out there. Find one who is loyal, you will be happier in the end. When she is bored of him she will move on to some one else.

[Daimon]

You just won, you got rid of a false friend and an easy chick, when you finish grief you'll feel 10x better than before. For future reference, the only woman you're allowed to qq in front is your mom, never do it w another.

[Deleted]

Best friends for life are hard to come by.
2 lessons learnt here:
- That's not your best friend
- She's not the one for you

Cry, take a hot shower. It is hard and it will be hard, but you will meet new people, new friends, new girls.

I cried a lot, I can't eat normally because I just get sick if I eat more than 2 bites.
I feel not angry at all, its more like.. depressing, disappointed, mixed feelings because I look back at the good times and how everything was okay last month..

Also I feel guilty too because I didn't treat her well the last month..

[MasterHamster]

As said above, there's really nothing to do about it.
Do you want her back? For now, yes you do, but your rationality is clouded.
She went behind your back with your closest friend, they're not worth spending your time with any more. Even though you wish, so much, to do so.

Life sucks, this is just one of perhaps more similar occurences. Guess the best thing is to keep your eyes on whatever the future has in store.

Oh, and antidepressants. *sigh...*

[Deleted]

You really need to punch that guy in the face.

[Lockndrop]

Personally I'd beat the snot outta your friend. I'm usually not a violent person but in this case you should already know your friend isn't gonna be there anymore and you lost everything. so there isnt anything to lose and itll teach him a lesson