How much time?

[poser765]

people need to think of the larger picture. It sounds to me like the relationship would have ended either way. If chatting with someone you raid with is enough to make you lose interest in your boyfriend, chances are there wasn't that much interest to begin with. Why are people advocating that she should have tried harder to continue in a relationship when it clearly wasn't going to last. Sometimes you have to just let go.

[Neurodilation]

people need to think of the larger picture. It sounds to me like the relationship would have ended either way. If chatting with someone you raid with is enough to make you lose interest in your boyfriend, chances are there wasn't that much interest to begin with. Why are people advocating that she should have tried harder to continue in a relationship when it clearly wasn't going to last. Sometimes you have to just let go.

Sometimes you have to let go, yes. Sometimes you have to try too. But one thing's for sure. You never have to cheat whether that be physically or emotionally. The right way to go about ending a failing relationship has been covered by many other posters in this thread. OP chose not to do it that way.

[Shakadam]

Go for it, there's no point in waiting when you've already pretty much decided to do it. Your ex is likely to be hurt no matter how long you wait, so in the end it doesn't matter.

[Myrrar]

people need to think of the larger picture. It sounds to me like the relationship would have ended either way. If chatting with someone you raid with is enough to make you lose interest in your boyfriend, chances are there wasn't that much interest to begin with. Why are people advocating that she should have tried harder to continue in a relationship when it clearly wasn't going to last. Sometimes you have to just let go.

Because if there had been serious relationship problems she would have said so. Many people in this thread have been there, and in almost all cases it's not a problem with person A and Bs relationship, it's adding in person C that causes the problems. Now, no one knows 100% which way it is, but from the countless people who posted here and had been there themselves, it's pretty obvious what happened.

Relationships take work. If there were serious problems she would have left her bf as soon as she started being interested in someone else, she would have known things were over between them. If you are really unhappy and you know you are no longer into your bf, you don't just stick around. The only time you do is if you want to stick it out and work on it. Sitting on the computer all day and e-flirting with your bfs best friend is kind of the opposite.

I honestly doubt she is even telling us the whole story to try and make herself look a little better, because it doesn't make much sense.

[Magdaer]

Lol, classic. You are a pos and prime example of why relationships are trash, inevitable failures. You don't become best friends with your boyfriends friend and end up wanting to date him, seriously what the fuck. I would slap you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, don't kill your Ex's feelings by going out with his friend. You're the reason the relationship went sour in the first place in case you can't see that..

[Creotor]

OP, no, not too soon. From your whole post, it seems you're very level-headed (if that's how you say it) to begin with.

I don't understand the hostility (passive aggressiveness, w/e) in the first few posts.... (didn't read past that).
You can't tell yourself who to like. If OP suddenly felt interest for Rodrigo (why not Rodrigo?), that's all there's to it.
Should she have broken off her then-current relationship sooner? Probably, but don't all act like you'd do so much better. I don't know, maybe you would, but I find it unlikely. Relationships are complicated.
Furthermore, she still stayed faithful to him. "Emotional unfaithfulness" was present, of course, but most people don't treat that nearly as seriously as actual sex. No, I do not have any source or statistics for that, it's just common sense.

[poser765]

Because if there had been serious relationship problems she would have said so. Many people in this thread have been there, and in almost all cases it's not a problem with person A and Bs relationship, it's adding in person C that causes the problems. Now, no one knows 100% which way it is, but from the countless people who posted here and had been there themselves, it's pretty obvious what happened.

Relationships take work. If there were serious problems she would have left her bf as soon as she started being interested in someone else, she would have known things were over between them. If you are really unhappy and you know you are no longer into your bf, you don't just stick around. The only time you do is if you want to stick it out and work on it. Sitting on the computer all day and e-flirting with your bfs best friend is kind of the opposite.

I honestly doubt she is even telling us the whole story to try and make herself look a little better, because it doesn't make much sense.

I agree for the most part. What i want to add is that sometimes we don't know when it's over. I've been there done that as well, and I can tell you in my case I DID struggle to make it work and that was a mistake. Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are by no means positive or constructive, but are still simply unable to commit ourselves to ending it. I had a person C in my bad relationship. C did not ruin the relationship. The relationship needed to be over regardless of person C's presence or not.

Did she handle it properly? Hell no, lol but seldom do people handle relationship issues correctly. Water under the bridge I guess. The point is she did end it, which is good. I still stand by the fact that if the relationship was worth working on some raiding and flirting with "R" would have made no difference and she would have realized that and stopped.

Now, is she telling us everything? Hell no. lol who tells the entire truth on the internet. But with what she HAS told us, and I have no reason to assume she is lying, I stand by my opinion. She is a grown up...ish...as is R. R's relationship with ex is between R and ex.

---------- Post added 2012-05-24 at 09:30 PM ----------

Lol, classic. You are a pos and prime example of why relationships are trash, inevitable failures. You don't become best friends with your boyfriends friend and end up wanting to date him, seriously what the fuck. I would slap you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, don't kill your Ex's feelings by going out with his friend. You're the reason the relationship went sour in the first place in case you can't see that..

Jeez so agresive. Obviously she would be a much better person if she led her ex on by staying in the relationship regardless of her feelings towards him. Gosh, what a bitch...not dragging shit out longer than it already was...

[Osyrus]

Nope its not too soon.

Your relationship sounded dead with this other person.

However my only advice due to dealing with something similar is to take things slow. If not it will get 'hot and heavy' and it might fizzle out, but take the relationship on just like that a NEW relationship.
Dont move in with him in the next 30 days

[sidewayz]

people need to think of the larger picture. It sounds to me like the relationship would have ended either way. If chatting with someone you raid with is enough to make you lose interest in your boyfriend, chances are there wasn't that much interest to begin with. Why are people advocating that she should have tried harder to continue in a relationship when it clearly wasn't going to last. Sometimes you have to just let go.

Like I mentioned before, the Propinquity effect. They have been raiding together or hanging out together for quite a while, that's enough time for you to find things you really like about someone, and find things to hate about others. She clearly(IMO) looked for reasons to break it off after abandoning the relationship emotionally long before that. Its obvious and shows a lack of maturity in judgment. I never said they were perfect together, who knows if they would have broken up or not if R didn't exist, but the fact remains that R certainly did not help the situation. The fact of the matter is that R had come in between and blinded and skewed her views, made her emotionally unavailable, which I am assuming is the reason she slept on the couch.

Relationships have changed over the years due to TV and the internet. TV makes people believe that shows like the Jersey shore ect show it, so thats how they should act. I feel sorry for this girl, and R and mostly the ex. The ex knew, he maybe gave up trying since he knew it was a lost cause. The girl knew what she was doing, knew she needed excuses to make her feel better about how she acted and it shows vividly in her writing. R knew what he was doing as well, playing the internet alpha who has everything in common with her. This is how it happened....Girl lives with ex, plays with R a little. Ex may have neglected girl a bit, so girl started to talk to R more. Girl and R became quite good friends over time, ex started wondering after letting it go for a while. Girl decided R was amazing, emotionally left ex. Ex and girl both knew what girl was doing, girl maybe admitted to it, but nothing more than friends. Girl and ex start fighting more based on underlying issue, even if fights didn't stem from them. R and girl got closer due to fights. Girl blew small problems out of proportion to make ex seem worse to her and R seem that much better. Girl decided she was bored and wanted new R. Girl left ex and now is going to see R. Girl will see R, have sex RIGHT away because thats what she and R both want, and have talked about it countless times. R will always wonder about girl, getting worse as their relationship moves on, "IS R cheating on me? she cheated before?". R will not pan out, outside of videogames and a few other useless things in common, they won't have their magical connection anymore. Girl will find out R is nothing great except some skeezy loser. Girl will keep having attachment and self-esteem issues until(hopefully) she finally matures. Ex will be ok, since ex knows right from wrong, upset probably, but will think its funny when she crashes and burns. I could write a book about this kind of stuff, its basic psychology.

To all the girls playing video games and chatting with men, they know what they want, you know what they want. Stop listening to all the remarks about how sexy and perfect you are ect. You know its bullshit, they know its bullshit and its not worth your time. Sure some people actually find someone, but most of the time its not going to happen. The anonymity factor is too large, they can pretend to act however they want, and will. I know, I used to do it, and do it VERY well. You will not find this magical connection you think you have with said person. "But but but we haven't even met and we feel like we know each other completely". You don't, sorry. If you are in a relationship, stop doing stupid things. Your self-esteem does not need to be boosted by random people, if you need reassurance, ask your husband/boyfriend. Grow up.

Disclaimer: I don't know much about psychology(I am an economist)Except for a few classes I took as an undergrad so take everything I said with a grain of salt and if I said something wrong, oops