So we just broke up and we just got together again - Is it healthy for me?

[Emochild]

Basic line, i have been with her since late summer / early spring, we had a good run, but then came winter. She went down to a friend of hers, and was there for 1 and a half week. When she came back from that trip, she told me what happened, the people she had been with had been selling drugs and using them, she knows how much I am against it, with a sister that is in the same kind of problems and almost ripped my family apart. so we had a few arguments over that.

Later on, about Easter, when i was logging onto my computer, she was still logged onto facebook, this was late at night, she had the chat up with a friend of hers, and the first message i saw was not one I liked. things like "would you come sleep with me, I’m lonely" and "ofc you can touch my ass" and things like that. naturally I was upset, so i called her and tried to make her admit her self what she did, but she lied to me. so I waited one day, sendt a heck of a message to her and refused answer her plea to talk. but eventually i said what i saw and she came with the excuse that she got a pill from the guy she was down with in Easter. and that she was lost, i find that worse than the messages. later on she told me to read thro the chat with him, to see that she did not write things like that again, but i found a lot of skeletons she forgot to bury, i confronted her with that, she said she took another pill, the last one. Me ofc pissed at her, lost my temper, but i still stood with her, but not with the same amount of trust that i used to have, much of my feelings have gone. After all i said, she had to cut contact with her friend, or else our relationship would go to hell, she refused to listen to me. but eventually we argued so much over this that she thought I was going to break up with her, so she broke up with me before i had the chance, so the joke was going to be on me. Naturally I felt a bit relief over this, since i had been thinking about this for 2 months. we went out to talk, took a walk on the beach, she asked if we were ever to get together again, my answer was that I didn’t think so, after all that happened. Then she finally realized what she had done, and for 2 hours she pleaded me to take her back, I broke out in tears and said i would take her back, even though I knew I should just have walked out of there and given up on her for my own best.

I have exams in 3 weeks, without her I will have a lot to think about, with her I will have just about the same amount of garbage to think about.. anyone got a tip on how I can solve this without failing my exam and doing something I will really, really regret.

[raechuul]

There needs to be mutual respect in a relationship. If you are not comfortable with her taking drugs, she needs to evaluate which is more important to her: drugs, or you, and make a decision for herself. Seems like there are already trust issues forming, and she seems to be going back and forth on you, so I personally would probably let her go. Unless you think you're going to marry her or something, I would say leave sooner rather than later.

[Ghul]

facebook is the root of all your problems man ~~

im btw for ditching her, you're still young and there is no need to stick with the first woman you meet.
cartman once said something that may apply here in a different context: "if you want to find a good friend, you need to go through all the dicks first" - true story.

[Seezer]

She's way too dramatic. Find someone that still likes to get wild, but one that won't screw the first person that says she has nice tits.

[Locruid]

facebook is the root of all your problems man ~~

im btw for ditching her, you're still young and there is no need to stick with the first woman you meet.
cartman once said something that may apply here in a different context: "if you want to find a good friend, you need to go through all the dicks first" - true story.

QFT. My niece and her boyfriend were having a disagreement on Facebook.. couple her friends chimed in then one of his did... big mess that got blown WAY WAY WAY out of purportion that could have easily been solved without Facebook details.

Long story short. If she cant commit to a MUTUALLY exclusive relationship, find someone else worth your time

[Evilhealz]

She is a waste of time. I had one just like that. You can let it ride for a little while but if she fucks up again, can her. Pill heads are terrible. Plus she has no respect for you.

[Olocan]

Man it was really hard to read all of that but i think i understand and all i'm gonna say is she is gonna just cause you trouble like she has in the past. I would end it.

[Maxilian]

Well in my opinion..... you should stay with her a little longer... and try to help her with her problems, but if we the time she doens't listen, you can ditch her thinking "I did all i can to help her and to save our relationship"

[Jaklina]

She doesnt seem like shes healthy for you. Leave her. You can find someone way better I promise.

[Deleted]

Man sorry to hear all that but to be honest I think it's time for you to move on. People never change no matter how much you want them to.
She made way too many "mistakes" and on top of that she repeated them without hesitation.
Try to focus on your exams. If you can't do it alone get a friend to help you with your reading and help you focus. Get one of your good friends and talk to him. It won't make you feel much better but it's a start. We've all been there once or twice for different reasons and believe me, all that garbage from your past will be the reason for all the fights you are gonna have.

[Deleted]

Imho she does not sound as a person you can trust or rely on. Which is the most important part in a relationship!

After this chat you catched up (and she was lying about) i personaly would ask myself what she did in the week& a half she was at her "friend"
Maybe touching was not the only thing her ass was included...

[Estarliia]

Okay so basically she's inconsiderate, she's a liar, and she doesn't respect you or your feelings...why would you want to stay with her? Use the head that counts and have a think...it's hard to admit to yourself but it really seems like you'll be much better off without her. It'll only get worse the longer it goes on.

[otro]

Trust me, she fucked someone down there, 100% guaranteed.

I voted ditch her because its obvious, trust me, ive been there. (terribad english sry)

[Chirri]

You met a girl. You liked her. She has problems. She has problems that she knows are a big issue for you due to your own family's history. She still has problems and has lied.

You know, if you're looking forward to exams, you're young enough that you probably shouldn't make a point of taking on someone else's problems. You can be friends with her if you like, and support her and try to talk her through things, but you probably shouldn't remain in a romantic relationship with her. It's not your responsibility to get a young peer back on solid ground; its hers, and her family's. If you marry her, then yes. But you haven't gotten that far, and you clearly know it's a bad idea already (at least, it's a bad idea until she's been straightened out).

I'm pretty sure you don't have the resources and network to take care of her.

You have your own future to worry about right now, and you'll be stuck with the consequences of your actions. Is your future worth a girl who's got a problem with drugs, promiscuity, self esteem, and lying? She might be a really awesome girl - but you're probably a pretty awesome person, yourself. Don't deny that, and don't put her before yourself. If you think you'll be with her long term, making sure YOU have a stable lifestyle and education will do more good for her than your own future falling by the wayside as she bobbles herself around for the next few years.

[Fadees]

Get rid of her. Druggie. Liar. Doesn't respect you or your feelings and only looks out for her needs. She's clearly not cut out for a relationship with anybody.
Trust me, you'll look back on this in a few years when you're with somebody more mature and laugh.

[Evilhealz]

Trust me, she fucked someone down there, 100% guaranteed.

Quoted For Truth

[Noxina]

She broke your heart dude, try your best to move on. And yes, I know it can be very hard.

Atleast you got your exams to focus on, and as they say "There's alot of fish in the sea" (God damn how I hated to hear that x])

[Deleted]

To be honest, as soon as I read the title I voted "Ditch her" then read the thread and gave myself a pat on the back. Destructive relationships built on lies and the neediness of one person dragging you down never work.

[Maruka]

yup she cheated on you on her trip, ditch her now and never look back

[starkey]

Why i never use Facebook too many people air there personal shit all over the place, i got off it because my older brother was using his daughter too see what his ex wife was up too.I thought facebook was a way to get in touch with old school friends etc not to have family memebers and close friends updating every single part of there pathetic life, so i got off it and feel better for it.