How did you manage to break up with someone?

[disturbiaa]

Ok well. I want to know from my fellow community.

* how did you break up with your last ex (serious relationship that lasted meeeh 1 yr +)

*how did you cope with the pain of knowing it was over?

*how long did it take you before you were over it and could start dating again?


Did any of you do something drastic when breaking up? like making a BIG scene at a super market? over the phone? in person? and whats the easiest way without prolonging it?


And another question, what if your living with the person but have nowhere to go? :x what would you do?





For me before the relationship im currently in, i was in a 3 year relationship with a guy. went to the same university.


While our relationship was dead we ended it as the semester ended. For me the pain didnt kick in till 3 weeks later i broke down for no reason. and i coped by eating lots of ice cream.


Ok so my break up was pretty much the norm but i guess since breaking up was so easy for me i didnt love the guy as much as i thought :/. I say this because i was able to date shortly after.

[GotMoxie]

I could never break up with someone over the phone unless it was something incredibly short, like a couple weeks. It's just heartless and impersonal otherwise.

Anyhoo, I ended my last relationship by calmly packing my things, telling him that I was leaving and wouldn't be back and, well, leaving. He'd asked me to "stick around" because he wasn't sure how things would work out with this new girl that had thrown herself at him - not that he was complaining. I don't think so.

[disturbiaa]

I could never break up with someone over the phone unless it was something incredibly short, like a couple weeks. It's just heartless and impersonal otherwise.

Anyhoo, I ended my last relationship by calmly packing my things, telling him that I was leaving and wouldn't be back and, well, leaving. He'd asked me to "stick around" because he wasn't sure how things would work out with this new girl that had thrown herself at him - not that he was complaining. I don't think so.

Eventhough you left him. Did it take a while to get over it? or like, was it a "my love died for you a while ago, so leaving you isnt hurting me" kinda thing?

[GotMoxie]

What stung was having wasted 6 months of my life on someone that is lower than the gunk in my shower drain, and my ego was obviously bruised for a bit. I'd really just begun developing serious feelings for him so it was more like a band-aid being ripped off and I shut down for a while, but just a week or two and then I was perfectly fine again.

I've had one relationship that still destroys me to think about today even though I'm engaged, because we never really had closure and I was deeply, deeply in love. I don't love him anymore, of course, but some closure would be super great.

[oplawlz]

I call said person, say "Hey, I'm breaking up with you", then hang up the phone. Honestly, how much drama do you need to add to the situation? If you're breaking up obviously things aren't going well, and don't kid yourself into thinking your partner doesn't know it. I never break up in person because it adds at least an hour of nonsense on to an already painful situation.

[Knight Gil]

I call said person, say "Hey, I'm breaking up with you", then hang up the phone. Honestly, how much drama do you need to add to the situation? If you're breaking up obviously things aren't going well, and don't kid yourself into thinking your partner doesn't know it. I never break up in person because it adds at least an hour of nonsense on to an already painful situation.

I like the way some people use euphemisms instead of just being honest and saying: "Im a coward"

[ryotte]

I did it in person. We were living together and had a child, but he was spending all his free time drinking at a friend's house, usually spending the entire night out and coming home in the morning to sleep all day. After a couple months of it (and other issues, but this is the one relevant to the story) he was supposed to be home one day to watch our son because I had an appointment, but he wasn't and wouldn't even answer the phone. So I got a sitter, drove to the house he had been partying at, and told him in person that I was kicking him out. It was heart-wrenching for me and took a lot of resolve, especially as he tried to get me back for the next few weeks, because after all he was my son's father. But I finally saw that he did not want to grow up, and I couldn't change that.

---------- Post added 2012-06-30 at 09:58 PM ----------

As for your questions, we were together 4 years and I started dating (a friend I'd known for years) after only a month. I had known it was ending for a good 3 months before I finally got the balls to call it quits. I mostly dealt with the pain by being social and hanging out with lots of friends and family so I didn't think about it too much. As I said, I kicked him out because the house was mine, but I had enough money in savings to put up deposits and rent a new place if I'd needed to. I figured he had friends to move in with as he was practically living there anyway.

[Uncle Julian]

My fiance left me on Monday, and we were supposed to get married july 6th (less than a week away from today). The thought never occur'd to me to break up with her, so I took it pretty hard...so being on the receiving-end of this thread topic, please be gentle when you do it as it can be quite the blow emotionally

[Alilei32]

dunno im almost 33 and never even been on a date. does that mean I fail at life?

[Sal the Shieldhog]

Well, the last relationship I had lasted for a good 3 years. And being 16, that's a pretty long time to have been with one girl.

Anyways, we'd known each other for a good 6 or 7 years before we started dating. We were fast friends, and we talked/hung out all the time, yadda yadda, all that fun stuff.

One day, 2 years into our relationship, I found out she was cheating on me - With a good friend of mine. Now, all of us did the same sport (cross country, indoor, and outdoor track), and being a small team, we were all close. This literally ripped the team apart. We broke up for a bit, until she convinced me it wasn't her fault, and me being stupid as I was, took her back.

3 weeks ago, 4 days before final exams of junior year started, I found out she was cheating on me yet again - except this time she was with my older brother. Well, long story short, I kicked my brother's ass, failed all my finals after going through an emotional break-down, and had to face her and her parents to go into her house and get some of my stuff I had given her (my class ring, my letterman's jacket, etc). That especially was hard for me.

I coped by listening to music, driving/walking around to try not to think, and by mindlessly doing things on WoW/D3/Pokemon games I found. I also started talking to another friend, and shes helped me through it a lot. The pain hasn't completely faded yet (I don't think it ever will), but it's leaving, and I guess I learned my lesson. The second time is my fault anyways, I guess.

The girl I have been talking to has been making it pretty clear that she likes me, but it'll probably take a little bit longer before I'm ever in a relationship like that again. I guess she understands; She hasn't been talking about it with me, unless I mention it first, and shes been trying to take my mind off of it anyway she can. I guess we'll start talking about seriously dating soon enough. Our friends all consider us dating already anyways, heheh.

[Deleted]

Hah, last relationship I had was a 3 year one. And I broke up with him in Dalaran xD (no this was not an e-relationship)
I was planning to the next time I seen him but he was a bit not right in the head I think tbh and started complaining about me going to see my friends as soon as he came online.

I told him to come get his things he left at my place and expalined a bit more then. Did not stop him going to my mates / mother swearing and saying 'where is he' and other shit and giving my mum vodka :s

[Deleted]

dunno im almost 33 and never even been on a date. does that mean I fail at life?

Depends how much time and energy you spend thinking you failed. If it's something that bothers you alot and stuff and you regularly waste energy and thought on it, then I guess you fail, yeah. But you could also look at it contrary and say, if it's not something that fills your entire day going "I need a date" "I need a girlfriend/boyfriend" stuff like that.. Well, then you're saving yourself alot of heartache, too! Most couples don't find eachother the first time, so really - you've been spared alot of "WHY WON'T X LOVE ME?!" and bad breakups and nerveous relations and all the issues associated with it..

If you're happy, then no.. You don't fail at life, infact, I'll +1 you and say you're quite winning for having saved yourself alot of trouble.
If you're UNHAPPY about it, however.. I'd say go do something about it instead. There's PLENTY of both girls and guys out there, and before you think any less of yourself than what you're worth, trust me - women GENERALLY prefer a good, loyal, confident guy over a one-night stand with some random hot guy. And reversed, most guys prefer a girl who's there for them, supports them and devotes themselves to them over.. a one-night stand with some random hot girl.

I've always had the policy when dating to never one-night it. If that's all she was looking for, I'd rather turn her down than take one night of pleasure, and needless to say, it worked well in the end. Been in a fantastic relationship for quite some years now and we've already begun our future together 'cause we both looked for the same thing. True love, and were willing to wait for it instead of walking from bed to bed on our journey there

That's not to say I did'nt make mistakes and had 2-5 week relationships on my way either, but never with the intentions of it not lasting longer than that. It was just bad matchups xD

[fumblz]

I found out my girlfriend had cheated on me with her best friend (male) after being together for 1 year 3 months. So while I was in Florida for winter break i had a one night stand, got pictures from that one night stand, then created a text consisting of those pictures and that she should continue to see her friend since I no longer wanted to know her.

How did I cope? Laughing, lots and lots of laughing. Not like the crazy kind of laughing where you just burst into laughing even though nothing funny was said, but from watching funny movies and stupid shit on the net.

Have not dated since then and im 22 at the end of july, so almost 4 years. Haven't really had an urge to date really, I have had some women drop hints they were interested but im holding out until I find me a gamer girl

[Grissym]

Dated a girl from the summer of my sophmore year in HS til right after the winter break our senior year. The night it ended we were in another arguement over something stupid and decided to call it quits(this had happened a few times). It didt hit me til about 4 weeks later when she told me she was going to stop coming over to my house after school because she was feeling guilty that she was continuing to have sex with me while dating one of my friends(she started dating him about 5 days after that breakup fight). It wasnt until 2 days after her not being there that it hit me. And i just hide in my room for a few days.

It was hard to get through the pain because we had 2 classes together(and were partners in each), as well as her being friends with nearly all the same people. I felt detached from the rest of the world for a few months, and my 3.9 gps fell to a 3.0 because of it. It felt fake. I tried talking to her to get some sort of closure of true "goodbye", but she turned around and tried telling the whole school i was abusive, forced sex on her, ect(it failed horribly once my friends found out and defused the dilemma).

The only reason i got out of the state of mind i was in was my friends dragged me to the mall one day, and i ran into a girl my best friend had dated a year back, who i always had a crush on. Got her number, started hanging out, and our connection was so strong it made me feel like the ex gf relationship was just a 3 year old crushing on a older girl.

Now we're married and have 2 kids. Ive run into said ex and we've grown up and gotten our last words out, but yeah. Being that close proximity after a break up really gnaws at you if YOU werent ready to end everything.

[Dirgon]

Other than my wife, I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than 9 months.

Let's see, in order:

"This isn't working, I don't really have any desire to be with you anymore." over the phone @ age 15. Funny part: (Note: Funny, not "OMFG WEIRD AND SO WRONG. I have no problem here) She went for girls after that. She was engaged when she made contact with me on facebook, to a dude, a couple years ago. That ended, though, and she's with another girl whom she lives with, so good for her.

"This isn't working, I don't really have any desire to be with you anymore." over the phone @ age 16. This girl was... nuts. I really couldn't stand her, and I only stayed with her so long out of boredom and loneliness, I was happy when I finally ended it.

Last actual relationship before my wife came home drunk (we were 18) and I flipped the fuck out because she wouldn't answer her phone all night. I already strongly suspected she'd been cheating on me, and booted her ass out. Couple days later I sat and watched TV as her friends (and the guy I'm sure she was cheating on me with) helped her move her shit out. Kicker: two months later she was pregnant and a few months after that she got married, to the guy I suspected she was cheating on me with. She divorced the guy, but found out she was pregnant again after the divorce, by him, and they remarried. Bullet. Dodged.

This one actually crushed me for around two years. I was a mess, if I hadn't found a job that kept me so damn busy a year after I probably would've gone insane. This happened in early 2005, and in Nov. 2005 I picked up a job that lasted til Jan. then in March of 06 picked up a job that kept me busy over 60 hours a week.

A few girls I've dated here and there. A few I just stopped talking to, one girl I had to do the whole "Yeahhh I'm not looking for anything serious and I can tell you are, I don't want to give you the wrong idea" (Note: I wanted serious, she was just fucking crazy)

My old standby was "I thought I was ready to date again but I'm just not, I'm still hurt from my previous relationship."

A few times I had to use, roughly "Holy. Fucking. Shit. You're freaking out because we haven't talked in two days? I. Have. A. Job. I. Work. Sixty. Hours. A. Week. Calm. The. Fuck. Down. Actually, screw this, you're obviously just too needy for me."

Yeah, I was pretty much a pussy on most of them. I didn't want to hurt feelers, but I didn't exactly want to pursue something I knew was something I didn't want, so rock and hard place. I went nearly 6 years without being in a serious relationship before I met my wife. I was picky as shit. Worked out for me, though, since I won in the end. ^^;

[Kivimetsan]

dunno im almost 33 and never even been on a date. does that mean I fail at life?

Well... if you're not getting laid, then sort of, but its your personal choice

[Skarsguard]

I would just tell her to make like a tree and get the F*** out.
But no really I don't remember its been so long since I have had to break up with somebody iv been with the same person for 5 years now.

[fumblz]

Well... if you're not getting laid, then sort of, but its your personal choice

Rly? Never understand why some people think this way....

[Iamanerd]

No serious relationships here lately, had one years ago but as of late I couldn't care less about all the bullshit that goes on with relationships. I tend to focus on college and my future career as that's a more pressing matter and I enjoy my summer free time gaming and watching anime.

[Alilei32]

Well... if you're not getting laid, then sort of, but its your personal choice

I didnt say I didnt pull some ass every now and then. I dont see why people think someone who has never had a girl friend has no sex life. I would just like to have a real girlfriend and not just some tourist I picked up at a friend's bar that I took back to my beach house to bang.