Boys - Second class citizens?

[Duridi]

A friend posted a link on Facebook yesterday, called "10 things you don't say to a mother of boys", with the comment "Having just 1 boy, I already see the tendency" attached. The reason she posted this, is that her family seems disappointed her firstborn was a boy. Her brother also have boys. Two of them, and no girls. They have both been tossed comments like "You're gonna keep trying until you get the girl I hope?", and "Aww, what shame the second one is a boy too. Better luck next time" from their own family.

I am also a mother of a boy, with a second boy on the way. I haven't had that many comments directed at me, but I am well aware that what my friend is experiencing is rather common, and it pretty much always concern boys, unless we're talking about families who have 3-4 girls and no boys. What I have experienced though, is that one person first said "Oh how exciting. Maybe it's a girl this time? Or maybe you don't care that much about gender?" when I mentioned that one of my pregnancy symptoms was opposite of when I had my firstborn boy. Then proceeded later to ask "So, how do you feel about that?" with a little pity in her voice(atleast that's how I took it, but I could just have been a bit defensive due to expecting such a reaction, I don't know) when I told her the ultrasound showed another boy.

I have also recently read another forum discussion where a mother of three girls said she felt sorry for those who only had boys, and was gratefull she was so lucky she only had girls(obviously, it could just be a defence mechanism since she only had girls herself and possibly wanted both genders, I don't know), The point though, is that she is also helping with spreading the attitude that you're some kind of failure if all you get are boys.

While this is going on, a company that is used for several, if not all, official statistics regarding the norwegian population, has done a graph of the chance you'll have a third child if the two first are boys. The chance show an increase if your two first are both boys. The fact that people has noticed this even, could further be feeding the attitude that everyone should give birth to atleast one girl for all I know.

To be quite honest, I really hate the idea that it's going to be automaticly assumed, and added to the statistics, that if I decide to have a third child, it will be because my two first ones are both boys. Especially concidering the fact that a possible third child have been under evaluation long before my first one was even born.

I really don't understand where this attitude is coming from, and if it's even real. To me it just looks like some stupid idea some people have printed into their mind and started spreading to harm people for something they have no control of. I mean, that's possibly the easiest thing you can try harm someone for, simply because they have no control of it.

What I am curious about is if anyone else has seen a similar trend, regardless of gender elsewhere in the western world? I have been thinking if this is just something that is going on between mothers only, simply because they see superiority in dressing up girls and doing their hair, or carry a strange idea that boys can't get equally attached to their mother. Yes, that's actually something the woman that felt sorry for those who only had boys said. "You get closer to daughters than sons".

[Catta]

Probably just moms who want girls and dads who wants boys so they can shape them into an image of themselves :P

[slime]

Seems to be completely situational. I had a good friend, who he and his wife were pumping out kids like there was no tomorrow. 4 Kids in 6 years, all girls. He loved his girls but he didn't hide the fact that he really wanted a boy. And the people around him always brought it up, and his wife's girlfriends always brought up how it was "ashame" it wasn't a boy for Al (Al is his name). I totally think if it were girls after girls you were having you'd be getting it about how you are trying for a boy.

[Deleted]

feminism at its finest... "we want to be equal but just a little bit more equal than boys "

[Deleted]

As far as I know boys are more desired in most of the developing world because they are breadwinners and girl children are even killed. While boy children are usually more desired in the developed world too because the father usually wants a boy and the wife usually wants to please the father. Plus boys are less of a hassle to raise.

"If you have a son then you only need to worry about 1 penis, if you have a daughter then you have to worry about them all."

What you're saying comes as news to me.

[MerinPally]

Although we're only 18 I was surprised to see how many of my friends have a preference of which gender children they get in the future, but I was definitely under the impression that people prefered boys rather than girls due to how "easy" it is relative to the others when they begin growing up.

For myself, as long as they have above the average number of arms and legs (as the average is less than 2 for obvious reasons) and aren't defective in any way that would affect their quality of life, why does it matter?

I don't mind the sex, just numbers enough so I can have my own football team of children.

[N-7]

As far as I know boys are more desired in most of the developing world because they are breadwinners and girl children are even killed. While boy children are usually more desired in the developed world too because the father usually wants a boy and the wife usually wants to please the father. Plus boys are less of a hassle to raise.

"If you have a son then you only need to worry about 1 penis, if you have a daughter then you have to worry about them all."

What you're saying comes as news to me.

Source? As far as I know what you're saying was happening thousands of years AGO and not recently.

And don't give me 1 occurrence and say "see it happens".

[MerinPally]

Source? As far as I know what you're saying was happening thousands of years AGO and not recently.

And don't give me 1 occurrence and say "see it happens".

Actually that occurs nowadays in India and China in rural areas. Not so much "murdered" but "abandoned" definitely. That's a fact happening in modern times rather than a piece of history.

[Shiny212]

Source? As far as I know what you're saying was happening thousands of years AGO and not recently.

And don't give me 1 occurrence and say "see it happens".

Well China has been known for female infanticide.

[Odyseas]

Nope, some people are just retarded, simple as that.
A child is a child. Choosing between genders is just tragic and it means that you just don't get it.

[mmoscreenshotproof]

Boys may be second class citizens due to increased feminism after birth...but as far as the pre-birth boys are still preferred for whatever reason.

http://www.sentientdevelopments.com/...a-no-easy.html - Canada is considering banning revealing the sex of fetuses because mothers there are more likely to abort girls than their potential boys. And regardless of what MerinPally says about femicide only occuring "thousands of years ago," it still actually does happen far more than one would expect.

[Deleted]

Source? As far as I know what you're saying was happening thousands of years AGO and not recently.

And don't give me 1 occurrence and say "see it happens".

Female infanticide is a huge problem in both China and India, with the majority of the girl victims being killed within 24 hours of birth. This is a major issue being tackled by the United Nations.

Estimates put it at something like 10 million girls having been killed by their parents in India in the last 20 years and many millions in China.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2728976&page=1
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,281722,00.html
http://www.gendercide.org/case_infanticide.html/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion...ticide_1.shtml

[Deleted]

I have two daughters and I have to say, I'm very happy !
A boy would be cool too, but girls are so much cooler.

[Wishblade]

Never heard anyone say something like this, though I know some who I'd imagine might want a girl rather than a boy. Though it wouldn't surprise me if women wanted girls and men wanted boys in order to have a mini-them.

[RandomAustralian]

As long as you're having kids for your own reasons then don't worry about being a statistic. There are so many variables with 'statistics' on opinions that the data can be interpreted so many different ways. As for the title, I really don't believe that boys are second class citizens, but that's the way I've been brought up.

[Total Crica]

who cares what gender of child other people prefer you to have as if we even have any control over this? they are not going to raise it, they are not going to pay for it, they are not going to have any say in their lives. what if humans evolve into a third gender? or a double gender in one body? or something else entirely? i mean isn't evolution what makes us who we are, not us? people get worked up over things that simply don't matter and things they don't even have control over because they have nothing better to do - i say go find something better to do then listen to people who will have no part in your childs raising, finances or life choices and be happy

[thatguy181]

Screw stats. If you and your significant other want a kid or more kids, then you know the procedure for doing so. Don't let anyone tell you what is and isn't "right". Those other people are going to do very little, if anything to help you raise the child anyway.

[N-7]

Female infanticide is a huge problem in both China and India, with the majority of the girl victims being killed within 24 hours of birth. This is a major issue being tackled by the United Nations.

Estimates put it at something like 10 million girls having been killed by their parents in India in the last 20 years and many millions in China.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2728976&page=1
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,281722,00.html
http://www.gendercide.org/case_infanticide.html/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion...ticide_1.shtml

Okay guys/girls I didn't really think that this issue was still widespread in some countries considering how "advanced" we are.

[Rukh]

This is what is called confirmation bias. People completely ignore all the cases that prove their belief is false and zero in on the one or two cases that support their preconceived notion. Oh look one person had someone tell them they should have a girl, clearly boys have less opportunities than girls. XD

[damntree]

dont worry, in a million of years only boys gonna exist, genetics show that girls gonna vanish and then - then, can you imagine this wonderful world ?

Why would girls vanish?