Anyone else doesnt want to get married and have kids?

[Deleted]

I simply don't want to get married and have kids.

I don't want to have my life being ruined by some woman, I can see what other women did to my friends and my mother did to my father. And having a kids seems even worse. I remember well how bad kid I was, if I was my father I would kill myself on the spot. Also it must be fun to go back home after day of work and have no "me time", cuz of wife and kids constantly bitching around.

Anyone else sharing this feelings?

[drwelfare]

I have no desire to.
Also I a loser so I'd never have a chance of it happening anyway, so things work out there.

[Ynna]

I'm pretty sure there are plenty of other who feel like that. It's a perfectly valid viewpoint. Note one that interests me personally, but valid nonetheless.

[Deleted]

I don't want to get married or have kids either, but not for the extreme reasons you mentioned.

I just don't want to...

[Deleted]

Each to their own.

I'm engaged and can't WAIT to have kids one day with the woman I love, but depending on how you grew up and what views you gained along the road that led you here, it can differ alot. If you're content with not getting married and/or having kids, then all the best to ya about that. Just enjoy life and make sure you have a good time. Life's really, really short in the bigger picture, so get what you want out of it while you can =)

[Cthulhu 2020]

OP, if I may ask with no disrespect, how old are you?

When I was younger, I wasn't sure if I wanted a kids and a family or not. I had a good home life as a kid with a very good mother. I had several bad relationships with really messed up women, but not only am I older now, and started to feel the tug of wanting fatherhood, I have now found a woman who loves me and is devoted to me and isn't crazy cuckoo psycho bananas.

My suggestion is to not even think about marriage until at least 25, if not 30. The rate of successful marriages goes up drastically at those ages. However if the idea of marriage and a family life doesn't appeal to you at all, don't do it. Don't even think about it. The single life is becoming a prominent lifestyle these days. If coming home to a wife and kids isn't something that you look fondly upon, don't worry about it if you'd rather have your free time.

Some of the greatest minds and inventors of our time (Tesla comes to mind, among others) didn't get married, didn't have kids, didn't have relationships, some didn't even pursue sex, and were thus never distracted from their work.

There are also a lot of people who are unhappy in relationships, and never wanted in one in the first place, but married anyway because it was what was expected of them by society.

[Letmesleep]

I think everyone wants love but some people have been hurt or fear getting hurt and thus are too scared to go after it. There's a certain kind of safety in not trying. To say you don't want it is more of a defense mechanism than anything (I know because I use it myself! :P).Kids on the other hand, not everyone wants those.

[Oddisho]

I dont wanna get married but i want a son/daughter, thinking on adopting but prob wont be able as a single parent.

[Slappers]

Personally I wouldnt mind finding the "love of my life", but I can't see myself in a future with kids right now, Im 22 and am not dumb enough to say "IM CERTAIN I'LL NEVER WANT KIDS!", but at the moment I just cant see myself wanting them at any point in my life.

[Deleted]

I dont wanna get married but i want a son/daughter, thinking on adopting but prob wont be able as a single parent.

The adoption part is the LEAST of your worries. I assume you have some great friends (Because I assume you're an awesome guy, I always do when talking to people untill proven otherwise ;D) and I am sure one of them would'nt mind helping you.

It depends ALOT on where you want to adopt from and what kind of child you want to adopt. Having a baby as a single parent is hard and against most adoption agency regulations, but have you considered offering yourself as the ward of a young child instead? There's plenty of orphans who could use a ward and it's alot easier to become the legal guardian of a child as a single than the legal parent.

Otherwise, if marriage and/or relationships does not matter at all to you, you could see if one of your awesome friends feels the same. If they do, you could apply for a legal marriage/parthership (I know it sounds gay, but you could consider a partnership with a likeminded same-sex friend). That would let you adopt a kid as long as you're both willing to act as parents for the child. It would require you sharing adress and would hold ALOT of responsibility and such, but it's an option atleast.

If you're too worried about homosexual implications of a legal partnership to share custody of a child, you could see if one of your awesome female friends feels the same way and have a legal marriage, again share adress and share custody.

A marriage does not HAVE to be out of love and/or sex, but could just be a strategic way to lead your life and attain the right to parent a child. Personally, I don't see the problem in adopting as a single parent but alot of agencies do, and you can bend those rules by just having a legal partner who's also willing to share comittment. Heck, it could even bring you and your friend close together about it.

Although, I strongly advice you NOT to engage in such without properly thinking it through. It's not just a project that you can abandon or give up on when it gets hard/boring/frustrating so weigh your options carefully. But when you look in comparrison, there are couples out there spitting out babies and abandoning/neglecting them every day in every country.. But to adopt a kid, you need to be checked up on up and down the wall for permission.

The world is a weird place.

[ifrah]

I simply don't want to get married and have kids.

I don't want to have my life being ruined by some woman, I can see what other women did to my friends and my mother did to my father. And having a kids seems even worse. I remember well how bad kid I was, if I was my father I would kill myself on the spot. Also it must be fun to go back home after day of work and have no "me time", cuz of wife and kids constantly bitching around.

Anyone else sharing this feelings?

Let me take a wild guess, your experience with women is somewhere between very slim to none? And also that you are pretty young. Not trying to offend you, but that hard opinions tend to change.
What comes to kids, my almost absolute no-no that lasted for 10+ years is slowly drifting towards some "25% I don't know, we'll see, 75% rather not." Not everyone wants them, but for quite a few it's all about finding a right partner (and getting past the teen years).

[Deleted]

I dont wish to have children or get married at all. I have the same gf for 5 years and we are getting along just fine whitout marriage. Neither of us want those things.

Edit: I can see marriage as a option for strategic wealth distribution to cut taxes in the household. Other then that, its meh.

[Cthulhu 2020]

The adoption part is the LEAST of your worries. I assume you have some great friends (Because I assume you're an awesome guy, I always do when talking to people untill proven otherwise ;D) and I am sure one of them would'nt mind helping you.

It depends ALOT on where you want to adopt from and what kind of child you want to adopt. Having a baby as a single parent is hard and against most adoption agency regulations, but have you considered offering yourself as the ward of a young child instead? There's plenty of orphans who could use a ward and it's alot easier to become the legal guardian of a child as a single than the legal parent.

Otherwise, if marriage and/or relationships does not matter at all to you, you could see if one of your awesome friends feels the same. If they do, you could apply for a legal marriage/parthership (I know it sounds gay, but you could consider a partnership with a likeminded same-sex friend). That would let you adopt a kid as long as you're both willing to act as parents for the child. It would require you sharing adress and would hold ALOT of responsibility and such, but it's an option atleast.

If you're too worried about homosexual implications of a legal partnership to share custody of a child, you could see if one of your awesome female friends feels the same way and have a legal marriage, again share adress and share custody.

A marriage does not HAVE to be out of love and/or sex, but could just be a strategic way to lead your life and attain the right to parent a child. Personally, I don't see the problem in adopting as a single parent but alot of agencies do, and you can bend those rules by just having a legal partner who's also willing to share comittment. Heck, it could even bring you and your friend close together about it.

Although, I strongly advice you NOT to engage in such without properly thinking it through. It's not just a project that you can abandon or give up on when it gets hard/boring/frustrating so weigh your options carefully. But when you look in comparrison, there are couples out there spitting out babies and abandoning/neglecting them every day in every country.. But to adopt a kid, you need to be checked up on up and down the wall for permission.

The world is a weird place.

I don't know why, but that post just touched me. If I could +1 you I would.

[Irisel]

I want nothing more than become a house wife, and you would think I'm kidding...

[Droodid]

I wouldn't mind having a wife who is career driven like i am, because then that's just added income and the two of you can do plenty of vacations and getaways and have fun without the burden of kids.

As for kids. No.

As for now, i'll progress in my career first before i care about marriage.

[Tziva]

Plenty of people find partnerships that improve each other's lives. Not every or even most of them ruin lives. It is fine to chose to forgo a relationship for a lot of reasons, but cynical distrust of an entire gender isn't really a logical basis for it.

I don't think wanting to remain single and childless is all that rare, however. Marriage and/or kids are for everyone.

I have a great partner that I love and we make a good team. I am glad we chose to build a life together. We will not be having kids, though. Neither of us have ever had any desire to.

[Droodid]

I want nothing more than become a house wife, and you would think I'm kidding...

Or this, i'll take a house wife.

Still no kids.

[Somebodyelse]

I simply don't want to get married and have kids.

I don't want to have my life being ruined by some woman, I can see what other women did to my friends and my mother did to my father. And having a kids seems even worse. I remember well how bad kid I was, if I was my father I would kill myself on the spot. Also it must be fun to go back home after day of work and have no "me time", cuz of wife and kids constantly bitching around.

Anyone else sharing this feelings?

You totally have the right to not want to get married or have kids. Though if those are the only reasons you ddon't want to...You're wrong to think so...

Not every woman are crazy bitches and a kid is how you raise him so they're not all whiny lil brats or future terrorists

[mmff4]

When I was younger I used to think the same way as you do, but now that I have both wife and two kids, I feel like I couldn't live without them. Priorities change and people tend to get bored if they live alone. Once all your friends have families, you don't have anyone to be "free" with. That, I think, is what happened to me, as all of my friends have kids (or are about to have) by now.

Now that they are only small and cute, I can live with them pretty easily. Nothing beats the feeling of coming home from work and seeing your firstborn walking for the first time. But then again. Things may change once my kids hit puberty and they become almost impossible to handle. Time tells if I enjoy the feeling of coming home from work and seeing my firstborn stealing booze from the liquor cabinet.

But there is absolutely nothing wrong if you don't want to have kids or wife. Everyone makes their own decisions and if you choose so, than it is the right way for you.

[MrPaladinGuy]

I'm 28, in the past year or so I've found myself thinking about this quite often, likely because we're programmed to.

I think marriage is pointless, except for the legal aspect, though it also comes with many negative legal aspects that make it so unappealing I basically fear it.

If I desire to spend my life with someone at some point, which is not human nature but rather an idea enforced by religion, I'd have to know I'd be with that person my entire life and that I truly like them for their personality and all other aspects rather than looks that will simply fade.

As for kids, there was a time when I thought it would be nice, but now I see kids as an annoying waste of time whose main use is to hold a bad marriage together between religious people and even non religious people.

But, I also respect adding new generations to the human race and sacrificing for their survival as when i'm 40 that might be all I have to live for, my possible children.

I'd have to meet an amazing match for myself to want to have kids, the last thing I want is for my life to be the plot of a movie where my kids aren't allowed to live with me because I'm divorced and I'm forced like a 12 year old to hand over money simply because I have a penis and it's assumed the women would be a better parent and I'd still end up paying for most of everything while having basically no rights to see my children.

I'm just against having kids right now, but down the road I'd probably change, I just need to find a match for myself.

If I could find an average looking, non smoking, nerdy girl that wouldn't cheat, I'd be content, yes, I said content, and then having kids would make sense. I would also need an emotional connection with this person, otherwise I would be bored.

And I'll know I found the right person because when I see them I'll have the extremely rare moment where for just a second I found true clarity as if I could see our future if we were together.