1. #1
    High Overlord Nahuun's Avatar
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    So I have this friend...

    We dated for a few weeks several years ago. She was a nice girl and all but we just didn't click so we remained friends and we are very close now. So anyways, this friend of mine, it a bit "out there". She likes to go to clubs and I honestly don't get it. She goes in and out of relationships fast. I love her but I don't know how to nicely tell her she has been being a bit of a tart lately. We never had sex when we dated, that was my choice. She has no problem going out on a date or two and getting the dead done. It scares me because I don't want her to end up with a disease.

  2. #2
    Moderator Shamanic's Avatar
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    Do you think she is too dumb to be using protection? If so then it definitely might be worth getting some pamphlets or something from the chemist/doctor/family planning clinic about pregnancy and stds and leave them someone she can see them, but don't just start calling her a tart, that's your judgement and isn't at all helpful. If you love her as a friend then accept her the way she is. If you're concerned for her health then okay, help educate her if you think she's ignorant, but don't be judgemental just because her lifestyle is different to yours.

    Seems like you two have different views on sex/dating which doesn't make either of you wrong but you may never "get it" as you say, simply because you're so different. Some people enjoy casual sex and multiple partners, some people enjoy the endorphin rush of dating new people, some people like to look around a lot before settling down.... some people just enjoy the party scene whilst they're young, others don't.

  3. #3
    High Overlord Nahuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shamanic View Post
    Do you think she is too dumb to be using protection? If so then it definitely might be worth getting some pamphlets or something from the chemist/doctor/family planning clinic about pregnancy and stds and leave them someone she can see them, but don't just start calling her a tart, that's your judgement and isn't at all helpful. If you love her as a friend then accept her the way she is. If you're concerned for her health then okay, help educate her if you think she's ignorant, but don't be judgemental just because her lifestyle is different to yours.

    Seems like you two have different views on sex/dating which doesn't make either of you wrong but you may never "get it" as you say, simply because you're so different. Some people enjoy casual sex and multiple partners, some people enjoy the endorphin rush of dating new people, some people like to look around a lot before settling down.... some people just enjoy the party scene whilst they're young, others don't.
    I do accept her, I didn't say she was one, I said she was being one. Her one friend, that I don't like, got me saying "tart". She actually has tarty parties. Which is essentially a bunch of people getting drunk and hooking up. My girlfriend tried talking to her about it a few weeks ago but I don't think she got the hint. She was always a very sweet good but very air headed. She gets taken advantage of all the time. It doesn't help that she's a bartender for a living.

    I want to tell her to slow down and be careful without her thinking I am doing it to be mean.

  4. #4
    The Insane Winter Blossom's Avatar
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    As long as she's using protection, who cares.
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  5. #5
    Friendship is not that you intentional do. It is one of the unintentional things that happens in ones life. So be a fare person and you will get fare persons in your life.

  6. #6
    Dreadlord Xistenz's Avatar
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    ...her name is Laura.

  7. #7
    Grunt
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    Why don't you ask her out again?

  8. #8
    You can do anything, but never tell her to slow down - that's what usually makes it worse.

    If I were you, I'd ask her directly if she ever though of settling down with someone and stuff like that. Force her into a serious discussion, even if she jokes about it after. If she says that it's what she really wants, then well, all you can do is try to understand her. If she doesn't care strongly about you, you won't change her mind no matter what.

  9. #9
    Sometimes friends need to learn things the hard way before being reasoned with.

    She'll eventually get knocked down a peg or two or decide to finally slow her roll on her own. That's when you approach her and ask her whats up with shit lately and how can you help or maybe give some advice or console her if necessary. You know, being a friend!

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by kelly008 View Post
    Friendship is not that you intentional do. It is one of the unintentional things that happens in ones life. So be a fare person and you will get fare persons in your life.
    More like be a fake person

  11. #11
    The Insane apepi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbotef View Post
    Sometimes friends need to learn things the hard way before being reasoned with.

    She'll eventually get knocked down a peg or two or decide to finally slow her roll on her own. That's when you approach her and ask her whats up with shit lately and how can you help or maybe give some advice or console her if necessary. You know, being a friend!
    I think you mean knocked up a peg.
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