Brother kills dog, I'm the bad guy.

[SvetlanaSvetlana]

Here's the story, and I'll try to keep it unbiased so I can get actual responses, and not what I want to hear:

I forgot how my mother even got this dog, it was something about it being abandoned, and us adopting it, but we get this little dog (mini doberman) and all of the children absolutely adored it. We've had several dogs in the past, but due to other circumstances, we've had to give them away. We've only had one dog last longer than 2-3 years, but foolish, optimistic me, thought this one would last longer. Even still, I'd consider us to be a dog family.

My little brother (who's about 10) has kind of had a history of being rough with animals. I've always felt as if I have to watch him around our pets, or else he'd hurt them. An example for reference would be him mule-kicking one of our dogs into the T.V. The difference between this dog and the others we've had, is that the other dogs we've had have been labs and such, so they got big enough to fight back.

I've brought this issue up before, but to empty ears, every time I've said something to my mother, she's disregarded it, or said that he was just playing. Maybe I am excessively paranoid, but I still feel as if this is a cause for concern. I no longer live with my parents, so my opinion on him is even less important now.

I've gotten a lot of stories about how this happened, but none of them add up. Bottom line of the story is that he tossed the little chiuaua-esque dog off his top bunk, it fell funny, broke both front legs, and had to be put down.

When I hear that the dog died this way, I didn't even have ask if it was my little brother. I talked to my dad about it, and I told him that while this sucked, this wasn't exactly an isolated incident, and suggested that he and my mother place my brother in therapy. He said that he'd talk to my mother, but I told him I'd go ahead and talk to her for him.

Now here's where it gets 'funny': I call my mother, and say the same thing I said to my dad, but she starts getting defensive, saying stuff like that I was mean to animals when I was a kid (yeah when I was 2) and that he was really beat up about it, and that it really wasn't his fault (for a million different reasons), so I just kinda drop it, and tell her that I have things to do.

She ends up calling me back, almost in tears, saying how I don't understand what they're going through, and saying a bunch of bullshit comments about how she's not a bad parent, and that I couldn't possibly be saying this, it was MY older brother telling me what to say (which I lol'd to) to which I reply with a simple: "You can try to defend him or sweep this under the rug all you'd like, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a problem, especially since things like this don't happen with your other kids" to which she replied with "I guess your mind is made up then" and hangs up.

After that, my older sister calls me up (I HATE my older sister) and starts counseling me on how I don't know my little brother like she does, and that I couldn't possibly understand anything that happens (because apparently I'm stupid)

TL;DR My brother kills a dog, I say something about it, so my mother's going around to all of my family, saying that I think my little brother is a serial killer, and that I'm a terrible human being with no regard for how what I say affects my family

[DarkTZeratul]

Whether your family accepts it or not, if this isn't an isolated incident then your brother needs help.

[Puck]

Does he feel emotion about it? That's important, if he feels no emotion he needs some serious help and fast.

[Ersula]

You need to tell your mother to grow up. She's taking it way to personally, that going to therapy is somehow a sign of her being a bad parent. She just wants to save her pride at the expense of your little brother's mental health.

[Blood Fox]

they are being dramatic because they don't want to deal with the reality.

[Gemini Soul]

If he lacks remorse hes will probably end up a sociopath.

[Marmot]

You need to tell your mother to grow up. She's taking it way to personally, that going to therapy is somehow a sign of her being a bad parent. She just wants to save her pride at the expense of your little brother's mental health.

The ironic thing being that sending the kid to therapy would be a sign of accepting a problem and actually in the process being a better mother.

[sadface]

Your brother is a nutjob, but what worries me is you call your family pet "a dog" and not his/her pet name and you misrepresent his/her breed with vague words such as "mini doberman" & "chiuaua-esque dog".

I would school my brother in how to treat a dog with respect and not just a play thing he can rag around the house. If my brother or any of my siblings did this sort of behaivor i would kick the living shit out of them. But that's me

If i was in your situation i would report my family to the RSPCA and make sure they can not own another pet ever, immediately!

[Skippy88]

Your family reminds of those family members who defend a murderer or rapist. They are in denial and blame everyone but their relative. I do get it though. It's hard to come to grips when there's a problem when a family member is involved. At this point you've said your piece and don't forget your brother is 10 and will mature as he gets older. If he continues to get out of hand you may want to consider taking the situation into your own hands and calling social services.

[SvetlanaSvetlana]

Your brother is a nutjob, but what worries me is you call your family pet "a dog" and not his/her pet name and you misrepresent his/her breed with vague words such as "mini doberman" & "chiuaua-esque dog".

I did that out of the sake of simplicity and anonymity, not because I don't care about the animals we own.

[TacTican]

Your mother sounds like she has the very deep issue of misinterpreting concern over the family as personal attacks on her character, which suggests that she's unable to separate her emotions from her logic when dealing with people close to her. Which in turn suggests that she's way too deeply invested, from an emotional standpoint, in the illusion that your brother is a model citizen - a fantasy which, if broken, would shatter a great deal of emotional capital poured into him, and thus must be maintained even at the expense of fact or the safety and well-being of others.

If that is the case, let it be. You won't convince her, and trying to will simply drive a wedge deeper between you. If you need solace, understand that she can either learn from you right now and accept your concern with good grace, or she will be forced to do so when life hammers her problems in through blunt trauma.

[FrenchieKDC]

Reminds me of my mum, and interestingly my father's mother. They say you marry your mother... Lol. My mum is a lot like that, if not worse. Personally, I want to say ignore her, but I am in no position to give advice. What I did was get the hell away from all of my family as fast as humanly possible because I, myself, was about to insane/postal on them. According to my mum, however, I was the crazy one. Funny how everyone else agreed I wasn't. But you already moved out, so yeah, lol.

As for your brother, if there's a history, he does need to talk to someone about it. How old is he? You could try seeing if he'd willingly do it.

[Falcon537]

Whether your family accepts it or not, if this isn't an isolated incident then your brother needs help.

Pretty much this. Histories of animal abuse in children sometimes leads them down the road of the sociopath. But by the way that your mother appeared to reject the idea that anything could be wrong with one of her children, she might probably be furious if the word "sociopathic" was ever used to describe your brother's behavior.

If he genuinely seems upset and guilty about what he did, then IMO, he could still probably use a little therapy now and then.

[herpecin]

from the fact that you heard about this randomly and had to call both your mother and father, im going to assume you are old enough and no longer live at home. that would make you at least 8 years old then your brother, and you have another brother that is even older still.

what often happens when the 3rd child is far far younger then the other ones is the parents simply run out of fucks to give. a buddy of mine comes from a large family(6 kids), and the youngest daughter is 10 years younger then the 2nd one in line. his parents stopped disciplining her, let her do whatever she wanted, and basically just ran out of fucks to give. she dropped out of highschool when she was like 15, has been arrested a few times, has been to rehab more then once, and shes only 17. what makes it strange is neither he nor any of his other siblings are that way.

[StationaryHawk]

I don't know if your little brother is messed up, or if he simply doesn't understand the consequences of what he's doing (since I don't know how he feels about his dog's death), but either way something needs to be done, and you're certainly not in the wrong for suggesting so. Your mother is being extremely immature about the situation and needs to start acting like an adult about it.

[TheRabidDeer]

Your brother needs serious help, your mom is in denial that he has issues because she thinks she is a bad mother if anybody has issues. Even if it isnt her fault. If your brother has a history of intentionally donkey kicking anything living, they need help. Seriously, at 10 years old he should realize that this is a living breathing creature and it is not acceptable.

[Lysah]

Pretty much this. Histories of animal abuse in children sometimes leads them down the road of the sociopath. But by the way that your mother appeared to reject the idea that anything could be wrong with one of her children, she might probably be furious if the word "sociopathic" was ever used to describe your brother's behavior.

If he genuinely seems upset and guilty about what he did, then IMO, he could still probably use a little therapy now and then.

Many/most sociopaths can easily fake emotions, even if they don't feel them. It might be best for someone to have a look, but I don't really agree that this is sociopathic behavior.

There is a difference between being a general animal abuser and personally cutting them open for the thrill of it.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

I understand that if it is not an isolated indecent, sociopathy is a possible cause. However, has the kid been tested for other mental disorders like Aspergers or even Autism?

Is he a normal kid? Is he awkward? Does he do all sorts of odd things?

[lockedout]

We've only had one dog last longer than 2-3 years

I can't stand people like you. This is why so many dogs are put down every year. People don't understand the commitment. As for your brother someone should do the same thing to him that he did to that poor dog. Your family should not EVER be able to own ANY animal not even a goldfish.

Being angry at injustice is fine. Advocating murder/abuse is not.

[SvetlanaSvetlana]

from the fact that you heard about this randomly and had to call both your mother and father, im going to assume you are old enough and no longer live at home. that would make you at least 8 years old then your brother, and you have another brother that is even older still.

I am in a family of 6, and I am number 3 at 20. He is the youngest, at 10 or 11, I can't remember.

To answer a question that has been brought up, I don't know how my brother feels about the situation. I've been told that he's really beat up about it, but at the same time I can see him not really caring, except for the fact that he is being harassed by some of my other siblings on how he killed their dog. (Which I don't agree with at all, it's only going to make things worse)