Dating: What would you do in this situation?

[Deleted]

What is this ?! A girl going for a guy who is not an asshole ?!
Bah, he'll end up in the friendzone where all nice guys get stuck.

Who says he's not an asshole though? most people show their true colors later.

[Deleted]

Who says he's not an asshole though? most people show their true colors later.

An asshole would be so...shy as this guy appears to be.

[Spectral]

An asshole would be so...shy as this guy appears to be.

Plenty of people that are initially shy are complete assholes. It seems that you've created a narrative in which nice guys simply don't get to date; this has no factual basis whatsoever. I suppose it's comforting for people that can't get dates with attractive women though - just say it's because they're too nice!

[Deleted]

Who says he's not an asshole though? most people show their true colors later.

It's better that they show their true colours sooner than later I hope!

An asshole would be so...shy as this guy appears to be.

Just because someone is shy doesn't mean they aren't assholes. I'm not saying assholes are assholes 24/7 but honestly, assholes are also very shy.

[Xavas]

I'm getting the feeling that JessicaHero is actually a dude and this whole "situation" is something he made up within his own head.

[Dassen]

It's probably a really, really nice guy that would give you so much more than any over-confident, charismatic douche who may woo you. He's worth giving a shot, you probably can't even imagine the anxiety and nervosity he experienced upon approaching you, and the worrying and embarrassment he's feeling right now. What he did took incredible balls. Call him.

[Deleted]

An asshole would be so...shy as this guy appears to be.

Well she doesent know him, do you think all women who end up with abusive men or assholes, are all like that from the beginning?
Personalities change often over time. being nice now isnt going to gaurantee you'll be like that for the rest of your life.

[Skippy88]

I personally never had the guts to go up to a girl and tell her I like her. When the roles were reversed there were usually hints but I was pretty clueless so I never picked up on them.

In your case it's pretty evident he likes you. As the saying goes the ball is now in your court. Replay those 5 minutes going over the physics problem in your mind. What was he like? Outside of being cute was there anything else that you were attracted to? Do you think he would make a good future boyfriend/husband? The forums really can't answer those questions only you can.

As others have noted you may want to go for coffee or something just to get to know him better.

Good luck.

[JessicaHero]

He has more balls than I have, I'd give him a chance. Just wondering, you said you helped him out because he was cute looking, does that mean you would have refused if he was just a normal or even ugly looking? Someone asks you for help, and you can offer it as it didn't take long...why would his looks influence your choice in helping him or not.

(sorry for going offtopic a tad)

Sorry, I can see how that can be confusing. I would have still helped him even if he were normal or ugly looking. I was somewhat thinking that when he walked over to me though, is that wrong?

[3DTyrant]

I reckon you should get to know him abit better, allow him time to be more comfortable around you, then see how you feel about him being a friend, possably more - What ever you feel to be best for you two, but I wish you lick in what ever you choose

[Deleted]

I'm getting the feeling that JessicaHero is actually a dude and this whole "situation" is something he made up within his own head.

CONSPIRACY! 9/11 INSIDE JOB!!! 0.o! its all a setup mate!

[Letmesleep]

CONSPIRACY! 9/11 INSIDE JOB!!! 0.o! its all a setup mate!

Well, I mean there's this:

http://www.giantbomb.com/forums/off-...uation/562755/

nice spamming topic

I think most people missed it. I missed it the first time around too. I'm undecided on the legitimacy of this thread. Either the OP has posted this on multiple websites and is legitimately looking for as many opinions as possible, or it's exactly what Starkey suggests it is.

[KickThatGuy]

Go out with him. He's seems like a nice guy.

[TacTican]

I'm a 20 year old woman and am in university. Today at the university library a guy who I have seen around campus a lot, but do not know, was using the computer two seats away from me. Well he did something odd, he asked me if I could help him with a physics problem, granted, it was a rather difficult problem. Since I'm nice and he was fairly attractive, I decided to help him out. Well it was a difficult problem and while we were trying to solve the problem, which took about 5 minutes, we talked about our other classes and school what-not. After solving the problem, he thanked me, and we went back to his computer two seats away from me.

Well about 15 minutes later he got up, apparently to leave, and on the way out he stopped by me and thanked me again for helping him. He seemed extremely nervous, and he handed me a piece of paper with his contact info on it. He said if I ever wanted to talk that I could contact him. I didn't know what to say, he was cute and he seemed nice and intelligent; after a few seconds passed he said "sorry this is really pathetic, I'm really bad at this, sorry and thanks for the help earlier... I have to get 'byeing'... I mean leaving, have a great day." He seemed extremely nervous around me and he quickly walked away after that.

I would like to hear the thoughts of the guys and girls here on this. What would you think of such a situation if it happened to you? Would you contact him at all via e-mail or Facebook? And what would you do the next time you ran into him on campus?

I'm a guy, not a girl, so take that into account when considering this reply.

They say you don't regret what you tried, you only regret what you wanted to but never tried. From his perspective, he obviously seems attracted to you - otherwise he wouldn't have tried to get your attention on him by asking you to help him with a physics problem. There's more than one way to skin a cat (or approach a girl), and rather than try to get you to be impressed with him, he instead tried to show how impressed he was with you. That takes daring. People like to say "Oh, just ask her, what's the worst that can happen?" but for lots of men fear of rejection can be a real showstopper. You probably understood how nervous he must have felt, gathering up his courage for a good 10-15 minutes before putting his dignity on the line and offering you his contact information.

Now, what we didn't get out of this story was your reaction. Did you smile at him? (Guys notice when a girl smiles at them. Really.) Did you give him the awkward deer-in-the-headlights look? (Also a natural reaction.) Did you thank him for the information, or was it a blank stare that followed? You can be sure that he'll be mulling over all your little facial expressions, actions, or inactions for some time, every bit as much as you are thinking about him and over his actions. Your post has the tone of "well, the attraction's there, but I'm not too sure ..." and I'll flag the telltale sign: you think he's nice and respectable and all that, but you aren't too thrilled of the idea just yet because you've read his body language. Attraction builds on positive feedback. If you smile at him, nod at his statements, keep your eyes "sticky" on his, your body language is conveying the mood of "I like you and am interested in what you have to say." If you can't meet his eyes or show little reaction, then your body language conveys the "you're boring me, can we stop?" mood. In the same way, you've noticed his body language - he obviously feels attracted to you, but you picked up that he's nervous, jittery, may not even have asked out this strange, mystical creature called "girl" before, and is afraid of rejection.

What I suggest is getting to know him a bit better before making your decision. There's no need to rush into things. Don't use Facebook or e-mail - voices convey your intent much better than text does. Call him up and ask him out for coffee or to study together, but when you do, you need to sound interested and receptive. Rehearse your tone and voice beforehand if necessary. He'll be nervous, and so will you, so it is important that you school yourself to be relaxed but confident. Confidence and interest in you will breed confidence and interest in him; if your body language, expression, and tone of voice tell him that he can relax, be himself, and open up, he will (and you want this). Conversely, if your body language, expression, and tone of voice tell him that you're cool to the idea, evaluating him, and scrutinizing his actions, he may be on his best behavior but you'll find it stiff, wooden, and nervous.

If you feel that it won't work, let him know. Guys take rejection badly, but most will settle for being "just friends". What you should not do is remain indecisive after a long time; if you feel the answer is "yes", say yes. If you feel the answer is "no," or even "maybe", then say no. Firmness stops a lot of potential problems down the line.

Just my thoughts. Hope this helps.

[Gamdwelf]

I'm a guy, not a girl, so take that into account when considering this reply.

They say you don't regret what you tried, you only regret what you wanted to but never tried. From his perspective, he obviously seems attracted to you - otherwise he wouldn't have tried to get your attention on him by asking you to help him with a physics problem. There's more than one way to skin a cat (or approach a girl), and rather than try to get you to be impressed with him, he instead tried to show how impressed he was with you. That takes daring. People like to say "Oh, just ask her, what's the worst that can happen?" but for lots of men fear of rejection can be a real showstopper. You probably understood how nervous he must have felt, gathering up his courage for a good 10-15 minutes before putting his dignity on the line and offering you his contact information.

Now, what we didn't get out of this story was your reaction. Did you smile at him? (Guys notice when a girl smiles at them. Really.) Did you give him the awkward deer-in-the-headlights look? (Also a natural reaction.) Did you thank him for the information, or was it a blank stare that followed? You can be sure that he'll be mulling over all your little facial expressions, actions, or inactions for some time, every bit as much as you are thinking about him and over his actions. Your post has the tone of "well, the attraction's there, but I'm not too sure ..." and I'll flag the telltale sign: you think he's nice and respectable and all that, but you aren't too thrilled of the idea just yet because you've read his body language. Attraction builds on positive feedback. If you smile at him, nod at his statements, keep your eyes "sticky" on his, your body language is conveying the mood of "I like you and am interested in what you have to say." If you can't meet his eyes or show little reaction, then your body language conveys the "you're boring me, can we stop?" mood. In the same way, you've noticed his body language - he obviously feels attracted to you, but you picked up that he's nervous, jittery, may not even have asked out this strange, mystical creature called "girl" before, and is afraid of rejection.

What I suggest is getting to know him a bit better before making your decision. There's no need to rush into things. Don't use Facebook or e-mail - voices convey your intent much better than text does. Call him up and ask him out for coffee or to study together, but when you do, you need to sound interested and receptive. Rehearse your tone and voice beforehand if necessary. He'll be nervous, and so will you, so it is important that you school yourself to be relaxed but confident. Confidence and interest in you will breed confidence and interest in him; if your body language, expression, and tone of voice tell him that he can relax, be himself, and open up, he will (and you want this). Conversely, if your body language, expression, and tone of voice tell him that you're cool to the idea, evaluating him, and scrutinizing his actions, he may be on his best behavior but you'll find it stiff, wooden, and nervous.

If you feel that it won't work, let him know. Guys take rejection badly, but most will settle for being "just friends". What you should not do is remain indecisive after a long time; if you feel the answer is "yes", say yes. If you feel the answer is "no," or even "maybe", then say no. Firmness stops a lot of potential problems down the line.

Just my thoughts. Hope this helps.

Pretty great post right here.^^

[videotape]

Pretty normal. Only you can answer the actual question though.