how come girls like bad boys/thugs/gangsters?

[starlord]

i used to wonder why guys liked bitches & ice queens instead of nice girls like me.. then i realized the bitches were 20lbs lighter, plucked their eyebrows, wore makeup, always hung around the hot guys, talked to people, etc..

then ofc once that was settled it seemed i either got emotionally unstable "alphas" or overly needy "nice guys".
wtb middle ground.

[IxilaFA]

I used to have this point of view, and then I realized that the problem was not with women; it was with me. When you spend all your time sucking up to women, trying to be their white knight, they end up getting more annoyed and turned away. Either that, or they figure out that they can use you and that's all they'll do. Ultimately, men who whine about being nice and respectful usually just lack self-confidence and just scream "clingy" to women.

Now, I still see myself as a mostly nice guy. But I've started defining myself by what I like in myself, not by what I think women should be attracted to. I don't act like a douche bag or "bad boy" because I told myself I would never be that kind of person, but I also don't act like a clingy, confidence-less whimp around women. I figure eventually I'll find a woman who likes me for who I am, and I don't need to change myself or act a certain way to get that woman's attention. If you decide to treat dating women like a competition and a game, and start acting like a jackass, you'll typically end up in a lot of very shallow relationships. If you decide to treat dating women like it's a deep, emotional connection and that every possible mate is "the one and only," you'll find yourself very alone and very depressed. Just decide how you want to live your life, and worry about women when they come along.

EDIT: Also, don't listen to the people in this thread. It doesn't magically get better when you get older. Ultimately, women in college / adulthood are attracted to the same things as women in high school: Confidence, Experience, and Motivation (ie, they get things done). It's just that once you get older, confidence, experience and motivation tend to evolve into more adult and responsible actions rather than the things a typical high school jerkass does.

[Deleted]

The whole nice guys finish last mentality is total and utter BS. I'm a very nice guy if I say so myself and I've had no issues whatsoever on that front. Then again I look like a bastard so I guess it evens out.

[Laize]

Cheer up, OP. As women get older, they lose their "sexual capital", as I saw it put once.

So all the shallow whores you ran into when you were young will eventually have society start progressively ignoring them more and more. I understand that's usually quite a blow to the "shallow whore" psyche when they have to start being nice to people to get what they want.

Meanwhile men tend to gain "sexual capital" due to rising status in life and earning power.

So men actually get treated better as we age.

---------- Post added 2012-11-05 at 08:09 PM ----------

The whole nice guys finish last mentality is total and utter BS. I'm a very nice guy if I say so myself and I've had no issues whatsoever on that front. Then again I look like a bastard so I guess it evens out.

Because there's a difference between "nice guy" and "good guy".

A good guy is just a guy who won't treat a woman like shit.

A nice guy is a guy who's too shy to "move in for the kill" on a woman, but the burden is still placed on him to initiate. This manifests itself as awkward, weird shit like gift-buying and doing everything she asks.

[Bethrezen]

Hormones don't really allow females to think straight in regards to what male would be appropriate for then. Because, of course, all the attraction is hormonal. Like earlier posts have stated, they tend to not know better until 20's/college years. There is also just those females who like the 'bad boys', because they won't be as inhibited sexually performing/being rougher/more confidence to them, which is what they'd want.

This of course, leads to plenty domestic abuse relationships. Our country is dumb.

[Atrea]

Nothing makes me more sick to my stomach than the "nice guy" complex.

The passive-aggressive sense of entitlement that comes with the belief, that because you're a 'nice guy' (what does that even mean?), you should get pussy is ridiculous and is exactly what frightens women away. It's not that they're attracted to 'bad boys' - it's that guys with this whole insincere 'nice guy' syndrome thing going on (when in reality, your motives are so thinly-veiled, and your awkwardness is off-putting) aren't attractive.

[Deleted]

Because there's a difference between "nice guy" and "good guy".

A good guy is just a guy who won't treat a woman like shit.

A nice guy is a guy who's too shy to "move in for the kill" on a woman, but the burden is still placed on him to initiate. This manifests itself as awkward, weird shit like gift-buying and doing everything she asks.

Myea when you put it that way it does compute.

[Deleted]

Short awnser: Because they`re girls

Medium awnser: It`s a matter of preferences, everybody likes different things, you can´t be in all of them

Long awnser:

Let`s start, a girl, a normal girl, not a rather ugly one, can get almost 95% of the men running around the world: a ripped one, o weak one, a drunk but childish and increadibly imaginative one...
on
The point is, what makes you stand out?, use your strengths, if you`re tall use it (If they dont know you it`s easy to manipulate and make her believe you`re more mature for example ^^), if you`re normal but have a rather childish face you should roll a smile, show craftiness with it.

Tons of books can be made about flirting, there are people that roll the Imsobadidontgotoclass or the yolo that has gone 5 months to the gym and thinks he is a bodybuilder( You only lifted once mathafacka).

Anyway, you`re who you are, no more and no less, you should try flirting the way it´s more natural to you(and better suits you), don`t try to be another, you will be screwed and you will hide what you really are.

Try, get better, manipulate when a fat bitch friend is trying to stop you (Shitty people in general that don`t deserve your mercy), use your strengths.

Be yourself, that makes you stand out if used properly.

That works for me :P

Sorry for bad english

[Uennie]

It really bums me out that some people are trying to cheer up the OP by telling them that women get treated worse as we age. Frankly that makes me sick to my stomach. The large amount of gender stereotyping for both genders also makes me uneasy. Nothing is that black and white or simple as to throw a gender label on it and reduce people to that much.

Aside from that, it's obvious from what so many people say. There's nothing wrong with being nice, I'm nice and my boyfriend is nice, and we're good people. The difference? That's not the only facet of our personalities. We both know ourselves and understand what we want. We're capable of being nice without letting it rule us. You may be a nice person, and that's always important, but the rest of you may be ineffectual and suffering from a lack of self-confidence. You don't need to be arrogant, you just need to be at peace and happy with who you are to live fully. Be kind, but strong. One can not exist without the other.

[kailoth]

I've.. learned so much from this thread. Lot's of perspectives Ive never considered before. Let's keep it going! This is a nice healthy discussion. Im learning more about women and myself as a result of the initial question I posed based off of observations and my own personal experience.

[Laize]

I've.. learned so much from this thread. Lot's of perspectives Ive never considered before. Let's keep it going! This is a nice healthy discussion. Im learning more about women and myself as a result of the initial question I posed based off of observations and my own personal experience.

Read this and you'll get a good understanding of the answers to your questions.

Of course if you treat it like a how-to book everyone will think you're a douchebag, but at least you'll get laid :P

---------- Post added 2012-11-05 at 08:50 PM ----------

It really bums me out that some people are trying to cheer up the OP by telling them that women get treated worse as we age. Frankly that makes me sick to my stomach. The large amount of gender stereotyping for both genders also makes me uneasy. Nothing is that black and white or simple as to throw a gender label on it and reduce people to that much.

It's called Schadenfreude. It's when others' misfortune makes you feel better about yourself. Everyone feels it now and then. It's the entire reason tabloids are in business. We love tearing down others to make ourselves feel better.

It's also true. Women do get treated worse as you age.

---------- Post added 2012-11-05 at 08:52 PM ----------

This x 100000000.

Actually that's not entirely true.

I know several guys who don't just agree with everything a woman says and still get called "nice". They're the ones that get stuck in the friendzone. The ones that are cool enough to keep around but not enough to fuck.

[Jackmoves]

I've.. learned so much from this thread. Lot's of perspectives Ive never considered before. Let's keep it going! This is a nice healthy discussion. Im learning more about women and myself as a result of the initial question I posed based off of observations and my own personal experience.

I think it's already been mentioned but you just need to find the natural balance between good and bad, I wouldn't call it bad though, but rather confident and non-whimpy. People who complain about being a nice guy and losing out to the bad guy, are usually, and I don't mean to offend, the type of guy that folds like a hankerchief, and let her get her way with everything.

Sometimes thats alright, thats also a balance you need to figure out, esp once you are in a relationship, but sometimes you need need to stand your ground and take control of the situation.

There are some girls that like a timid dude I'm sure, but I'm certain most women prefers something inbetween, someone who can compromise, communicate and express a problem and who does not roll over everytime there is an issue or an arguement.

Learn to appriciate your own value, your own oppinions and stand by that and your girl will respect and cheerish you for that as well. It helps if you are a charming motherfucker who can make her fall of the chair with laughter as well.

You don't need millions, a huge dong, or a fucked up view of women to bag a smart hottie.

[kailoth]

I think it's already been mentioned but you just need to find the natural balance between good and bad, I wouldn't call it bad though, but rather confident and non-whimpy. People who complain about being a nice guy and losing out to the bad guy, are usually, and I don't mean to offend, the type of guy that folds like a hankerchief, and let her get her way with everything.

Sometimes thats alright, thats also a balance you need to figure out, esp once you are in a relationship, but sometimes you need need to stand your ground and take control of the situation.

There are some girls that like a timid dude I'm sure, but I'm certain most women prefers something inbetween, someone who can compromise, communicate and express a problem and who does not roll over everytime there is an issue or an arguement.

Learn to appriciate your own value, your own oppinions and stand by that and your girl will respect and cheerish you for that as well. It helps if you are a charming motherfucker who can make her fall of the chair with laughter as well.

You don't need millions, a huge dong, or a fucked up view of women to bag a smart hottie.

Thanks for the words of wisdom.

[DuckieMage]

Actually that's not entirely true.

I know several guys who don't just agree with everything a woman says and still get called "nice". They're the ones that get stuck in the friendzone. The ones that are cool enough to keep around but not enough to fuck.

[The You in this post is not directed at the person I've quoting, just to people in general]
If you are trying to get into a relationship with the intention to have sex, you aren't trying to be in a relationship.
The 'friendzone' is utter BS and needs to stop being used to describe women who just don't want you. If someone doesn't like you as a potential boyfriend, then move the fuck on. Don't blame her.
If you want a fuck, then go and ask them for a fuck. If you want a relationship, you go for a relationship.

Nice Guys are not nice guys. If anyone ever tells me, "I'm a nice guy," then I know your not. I should be the one to determine whose nice and whose not. You don't get to label yourself nice and expect me to believe that.

[Laize]

[The You in this post is not directed at the person I've quoting, just to people in general]
If you are trying to get into a relationship with the intention to have sex, you aren't trying to be in a relationship.
The 'friendzone' is utter BS and needs to stop being used to describe women who just don't want you. If someone doesn't like you as a potential boyfriend, then move the fuck on. Don't blame her.
If you want a fuck, then go and ask them for a fuck. If you want a relationship, you go for a relationship.

Nice Guys are not nice guys. If anyone ever tells me, "I'm a nice guy," then I know your not. I should be the one to determine whose nice and whose not. You don't get to label yourself nice and expect me to believe that.

Really? You've never met a chick who, after a first date, said something to the guy to the effect of "Oh I'm not interested in a romantic relationship with you, but I think you're really nice and we should still hang out as friends"?

By definition if a guy asks a woman out, his intentions are known. By "not enough to fuck" I mean exactly that. She doesn't want to fuck him. Not necessarily that he ONLY wants to fuck.

Yes, a guy who stays in a just friends relationship has no one but himself to blame for any heartache. But come on, women really should grow up and realize that men and women can't be friends except in very specific circumstances. If a guy asks you out on a date, he doesn't want to be your platonic buddy.

[Thuggin]

where does the attraction occur? i guess its true that nice guys finish last. /sigh.
Cant live with em.. cant live without them.. can I get some FEMALE perspectives please? I mean real girls, not G.I.R.L (guy in real life)

Coming from a dude that has been recognized as the bad kid and a thug it's none of the reasons anybody told you on here unless is sounds like this and idec what a female says it's the truth they like gangster's and shit not because they find it more attractive although that may be part of it depends. chicks are complicated and it doesn't make them immature or mean that there stupid for dating guys like that not just saying that cuz I am one it's that for some reason they see something in guys like us as weird as this sounds it's almost as if it's a motherly thing they tend to see our potential and know that we could do better than we are so they have some sorta urge to help and be there .also what I was always told by the girls at my high school was that they always went after me because of how I am for the reason that gangster's (typically mexicans?) are all about respect,familia and if we fuck with you we fuck with you there ain't no being fake.and that's me I never really was fucking around with alot of girls or anything I'm 16 years old now and that same girl is carrying my lil girl in her stomach and were engaged



A lil tip for ya too idk you or. How you talk to females but it's all about confidence ese you gotta not be shy and you gotta be talkative becauae it shows interest you show the girl your interested make her laugh a few times and your fucking golden

- - - Updated - - -

You along with everybody else sound dumb about this teens should realize this by there twenty's it doesn't matter how old they are correct me if I'm wrong when in your life have you seen a dude that was a "gangster" act shy around a girl or barely talk to a girl no dudes like that are usually loud and passionate like me I listened to Tupac my whole life that dude was loud and passionate so I became that way myself you see girls go after guys like that cuz there not scared or they don't act shy and the main fucking reason that nobody understands that is the answer to this whole fucking wuestion I'ma put it in caps lock for ya gangsers or thugs tend to act more MATURE AND GROWN UP now what is one thing girls ALL AGES like majority of the time is an older man

[Toogoodman]

Because self-anointed "nice" guys are usually just annoying pussies who are bitter that no one wants an underwhelming flop of a person as their mate. Sorry. That was crass, I know, but I've encountered so many whiny boys that are 20-going-on-12 making this same complaint.

See the thing is? "Bad" boys are usually like, busy living life. They may not be making the best decisions from a K2 view, but they're doing something. Not sitting around sucking off mommy & daddy or playing Wii and thinking about how "nice" they are.

And men of action are attractive, even if their actions are imperfect.

Also, from what ive noticed with myself, and my buddies who have never had an issue with women, is that were ALWAYS busy. Personally, i don't spend every second of the day trying to text, call, annoy a girl i'm with, because being that overly clingy is super unattractive. A lot of the "nice guys" who "care so much more" are actually so clingy its toxic. A girl does not want to hear "i love you so much" every 10 minutes, they want actual conversations.

I see this shit all the time, and i hear the "i tried so hard" when in actuality they're suffocating the shit out of the girl. If a girl isn't into me, fuck em, don't have time for dumb shit and games. Chasing a girl is the #1 way to completely fuck up your chances, no one wants to date that super clingy person, because guess what? if you have sex, they're going to be 10x more clingy. Another thing, its funny, whenever ive told a girl im interested in the past, and they "blew it off" i usually just tell them off, which leads to them wanting me

Pretty funny

- - - Updated - - -

Female Preferences by Age-Range -
Age 8 - Puberty: Bubblegum boyband type
Puberty - Senior year of high school: Rebel
College - Early 20s: Adonis
Early 20s - Marriage: Smart/Earner
Attractive Divorcee: Shallow gymbunny
Unattractive Divorcee: Anyone (or cats)
Divorcee w/children: Compassionate earner
Young widow: Mirror-image of dead husband
Older widow: A nice man from church
Elderly widow w/money: Young wrinkle-chaser
Elderly widow w/o money: Cats, no one and/or someone they had a crush on 50 years earlier

This is spot fucking on lmao

[Doctor Amadeus]

Why do guys like Strippers and Loose Women?


Why do Guys like Huge Breast?


I would Imagine it's for the same reason women like big Penises or Date bad boys, because it is a fetish.

[Toogoodman]

The whole nice guys finish last mentality is total and utter BS. I'm a very nice guy if I say so myself and I've had no issues whatsoever on that front. Then again I look like a bastard so I guess it evens out.

"nice guys" is the typical metaphor for overly clingy, whiny bitch.

[Raetary]

holy mother of necros.

have mercy on those time lost souls.