Guys, Feelings and expressing them!

[Grym]

Like my last job did a mass redundacy.

Pretty much all the girls and women just cried their eyeballs out when they got given the news. When they ask me how come I am so calm, I just told them we have got 30 days more, so in this 30 days, how I plan to re-write my CV, start applying for jobs, where do I plan to look, and generally what do I plan to do about it.

From my personal experience (I am sure there are exceptions):

Girls tend to cry now, think later.
Guys tend to think now, cry later (if the thinking did not work out that is).

[Cybran]

I have a friend who tells me about his feelings for his girlfriend.

I think he is pathetic. It's lame when a grown man sounds like a 13 year old girl on her first period.

[-Skye]

I bottle everything up then once a month or every other month I get drunk on my own, think about killing myself then wake up the next day all okay. It works I guess when you have no one to trust.

[Turin]

It depends on the situation. If you get something from them, then it may not be use. If they help you with work or invite you into their social circle that you would feel too uncomfortable to be in otherwise, then you are getting something in return. But if they come to you whenever they have a problem and rarely include you in anything otherwise, that is use.

Would you respect a gf who bought you gifts, did anything you asked of her, and allowed you to do anything you wanted (sleep with other girls, go out to bars on her birthday)? It is very hard to respect someone who allows themselves to be exploited. You may have a friend who is a lawyer. You may ask them for advice. But if you ask them to do substantial legal work for you, and they do it, wouldn't you feel weird?

To the first point: yes, I do get something in return. It's not as if they only talk to me when they have issues.
As for the second point: I think you kinda misunderstood me there. If someone slights me in any way, I act accordingly. I don't let people walk all over me.

And I've also realised just now (because you mentioned it) that others helping me only bothers me when it concerns my feelings.

[zanoria]

Well as a man who is currently going through a breakup.. or went through one.. w/e, being left after 5years isnt fun.

I tend to keep most of my feelings inside.. but i dont hide them, i wear them on my sleeve as they say.

As ive found with my ex, she didnt hide them around me and her best friend, but acted like nothing happens around her parents and brother.

When im sad, you will definitely see it, but i dont cry in front of people n shit, only very close people to me have ever really seen my cry, two female co-workers saw me cry once, but had just received a call telling me best childhood friend had died in a car accident.. still had to sit with a client as i was told.. that was some tough shit!

but i guess ive been brought up to hide my emotions coz im a man, blah blah blah.

I do try hide my emotions alot, even when i do feel like breaking down and crying, most of it is done alone.

[Jackmoves]

"what a fucking whore, meet me at the pub at 6?"

That is a simplification and a generalization, but not far off the truth for most guys.
Feelings are not to be displayed openly, which is probably why there is quite a few people that don't feel all that great emotionally(boys/young men leads suicide rates etc). Girls are allowed to talk about things that bother them, boys are supposed to suck it up and just deal with it.

[Demidov]

Not allowed to cry. When I was a kid, my dad beat the tears out of me, each time I'd cry he'd raise his hand. I love that man.

But yeah, when I have a problem I mostly keep it to myself or share it with a friend. Never crying, though.

[Pull My Finger]

Hm, I thought this was about "feelings", but it's actually just about sulking in public.

[Deleted]

Not allowed to cry. When I was a kid, my dad beat the tears out of me, each time I'd cry he'd raise his hand. I love that man.

But yeah, when I have a problem I mostly keep it to myself or share it with a friend. Never crying, though.

Must....not.....get....infracted.

[vindicatorx]

I simply don't care and if I do it's usually not for long. Like a break up would not bother me at all since I generally am the one who does the breaking up. I do not worry about things and I generally don't feel bad for more than a few minutes.

[FathomFear]

Must....not.....get....infracted.

lol, my sentiments exactly.

[Belize]

I usually hide my feelings, just because I cannot stand pity from others. It makes me feel more guilty.

[MAGAmobile]

Not allowed to cry. When I was a kid, my dad beat the tears out of me, each time I'd cry he'd raise his hand. I love that man.

But yeah, when I have a problem I mostly keep it to myself or share it with a friend. Never crying, though.

Wait, so you're not allowed to cry because your dad beat you? I guess living in fear all the time is fun if crying is considered weak. I thought crying meant you actually gave a shit about something or someone, instead of being stoic and thinking "I'm a badass, I don't cry ever because it's weak" mentality.

In any case, I think its because men don't express their feelings and opinions enough on matters that causes them to get confused and unable to deal with specific situations, which goes into either shutting down or going on a rampage either with verbal or physical abuse of people just to *cool off*. Of course, there's places to break down and talk to someone and places not to.

[zanoria]

I usually hide my feelings, just because I cannot stand pity from others. It makes me feel more guilty.

Yeah , even although id like to talk to friends, if not complete strangers about my feels, i prefer not to bother people about it, especially in this fake world where people generally only care about themselves.....

[Pfeff]

Not allowed to cry. When I was a kid, my dad beat the tears out of me, each time I'd cry he'd raise his hand. I love that man.

But yeah, when I have a problem I mostly keep it to myself or share it with a friend. Never crying, though.

Ah yes, the good old days when men were men

[Deleted]

Ah yes, the good old days when men were men

Oh you mean the old stereotype?

[Pfeff]

Oh you mean the old stereotype?

No, I mean when men were men and boys didn't wear girls jeans or hairstyles. The days when you got bullied and fought back instead of killing yourself and posting it all over the internet

[Deleted]

No, I mean when men were men and boys didn't wear girls jeans or hairstyles. The days when you got bullied and fought back instead of killing yourself and posting it all over the internet

The days when you didn't have every masculine trait strangled out of you by a feminised education system?

[Deleted]

No, I mean when men were men and boys didn't wear girls jeans or hairstyles. The days when you got bullied and fought back instead of killing yourself and posting it all over the internet

So you mean the old stereotype, like I said before.


Not crying does not make a man a 'man'.

And how does your mind go to killing yourself when being bullied. -_-

[Pfeff]

So you mean the old stereotype, like I said before.


Not crying does not make a man a 'man'.

And how does your mind go to killing yourself when being bullied. -_-

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