Does online dating really suck?

[Anakso]

I don't think the kids part is superficial. That's an entire extra thing he'd have to deal with that a lot of people (my self included) don't want to, and aren't really ready to. The fat part though is pretty shallow.

[Deleted]

I don't think the kids part is superficial. That's an entire extra thing he'd have to deal with that a lot of people (my self included) don't want to, and aren't really ready to. The fat part though is pretty shallow.

Im inclined to agree with you, except regarding the weight. A person can fight sloth alone without money, it just indicates lack of will power to see there ambition through.

Of course if said person is just born large (a very subjective term, some people can be huge but it is offset by there height) then i wont judge them harshly as theres very little they can do for a means to combat that.

But allowing your body to wither into corpulence is disgusting...

[Porcell]

As I'm sure we're all aware from the internet women who are not the fantasy do not actually count as being women for a lot of people.

Is that a fatter Dwight Schrute?



You know it's you, Dwight, don't lie to me.

[Deleted]

Why are people saying that being superficial is bad? I for one have no shame in saying that I wouldn't want to date a gross guy with poor hygiene or someone who is obese or unemployed (he could be self employed though). These things are completely different from being short or wearing thick glasses etc. The first ones show huge flaws in hes personality as well since he let things get this far while the others are usually just something they were born with and can't be helped.

I also completely understand why some men don't like fat women (fat as in obese). If they have no self control then wheres the inner beauty?

[Deleted]

The world is full of judgemental hypocritical people when it comes to appearance. I find it insanely amusing when the majority of my male friends are disparaging about a woman - and they make little comments about how her butt is too big or her thighs are too fat, her nose is wrong or her eyes are too small or whatever.... when they themselves are single and quite frankly, not amazingly attractive.... but if a woman does the same to them they are instantly angry and wounded and then I listen to them bro-talk each other about how she was ugly anyway. I have a lot of male friends in the 18-25 range so I get a lot of entertainment out of this.

Your friend has every right to not be attracted to, not want to date, and even if he wants, make unflattering or insulting comments about fat chicks to his friends, it's a free world.... but to then get upset because women aren't attracted to him because of his height is silly. He should accept he has a flaw that some women aren't going to find a short guy attractive just like he won't reply to women he doesn't find attractive.

[Niteynite]

I have never tried it, nor will I. I have heard from friends that are registred on dating sites that there are more guys (gays) than girls contacting them ;o
I have no idea what sites they are on though ;d

The thing with dating sites is that women receive far more attention than men do. An attractive woman will be bombarded with messages from every guy in a 100 mile radius of her. If you decide to message her, it really has to stand out for even a chance of a response.

Maybe the OP is a special case, but online dating has something in common with in person dating: the man will almost always have to initiate contact. That one little fact makes you wonder how it is any better than a cold approach, because at least there you have face to face interaction already.

[FusedMass]

Check out dating sites like

Eharmony

They test you on your personality rather then looks. You will meet interesting like minded people looking for dates. Its not just guys there anymore. More and more people turn to the internet. While it best to meet someone close to you. You could meet someone long distance and have them come to you if things go well. In fact because your long distance.

It makes you talk to the person. Instead of being distracted by Physical appearance seeing how you adjust with their personality.

[jbhasban]

Dating sites suck for one reason and one reason only: I have no photos of myself. Really, where do people get all these photos of themselves? I mean, I could take a camera and take a photo of myself in a mirror but that seems ridiculous. I have never been out with friends and been like "hey, take a photo of me now!"

---------- Post added 2012-12-30 at 02:11 PM ----------

Well the one thing I really don’t understand about some guys. Now how is it that a guy can just complain about how he can’t get a girlfriend on POF (plenty of fish) or anywhere else or how he can’t get them to talk to him, because he’s short? When I was on the site I’ve gotten about 16 e-mails a weak (I’m 5’7 as well.) Then the same guy would tell me then that he got e-mails but from only fat women with kids. I then said to him you just said that you can’t get a girl to talk to you. He said well just the fat ones with kids. This I feel is very Superficial when he was just saying that girls judge him on his height.

Tips for all on dating sites:


1. Keep an open mind.
2. Superficial people die alone. You’re better than no one. No matter how good you look.
3. When you are looking for something serious then you have to look past some things. No one is perfect. The only thing that matters at the end is how that person treats you.
4. Don’t complain about superficial people, when you’re just as superficial.

5'7" isn't even short. It is slightly below average.

---------- Post added 2012-12-30 at 02:17 PM ----------

Im inclined to agree with you, except regarding the weight. A person can fight sloth alone without money, it just indicates lack of will power to see there ambition through.

Of course if said person is just born large (a very subjective term, some people can be huge but it is offset by there height) then i wont judge them harshly as theres very little they can do for a means to combat that.

But allowing your body to wither into corpulence is disgusting...

I don't think anyone said anything about weight. I think someone said fat. I have no problem with women who weigh around 160 lbs if it is muscle. I have gotten up to 210 lbs but still had a 33 inch waist at 5'9" (generally I weigh around 190-195). Being overweight has nothing to do with being lazy. It has to do with lack of knowledge and/or time. It isn't hard to lose fat. It is hard to learn how to lose fat.

[Deleted]

Dating sites suck for one reason and one reason only: I have no photos of myself. Really, where do people get all these photos of themselves? I mean, I could take a camera and take a photo of myself in a mirror but that seems ridiculous. I have never been out with friends and been like "hey, take a photo of me now!"

---------- Post added 2012-12-30 at 02:11 PM ----------




5'7" isn't even short. It is slightly below average.

---------- Post added 2012-12-30 at 02:17 PM ----------



I don't think anyone said anything about weight. I think someone said fat. I have no problem with women who weigh around 160 lbs if it is muscle. I have gotten up to 210 lbs but still had a 33 inch waist at 5'9" (generally I weigh around 190-195). Being overweight has nothing to do with being lazy. It has to do with lack of knowledge and/or time. It isn't hard to lose fat. It is hard to learn how to lose fat.

Weight is relevent to fat, fat is just a crude term for being overweight.

Regardless i have no problem except respect for those who allow themselves to gorge and then become obese, if they wish to date thats reasonable i wont deny them that. But to then complain when people refuse you on your weight... I wonder why.

As to the time... please, spending around 30 mins - 1 hr a day exercising when your overweight will slowly burn it off. And then you can diet to combat your choice in fatty foods.

Overall, its YOUR choice, its YOUR willpower, and its YOUR fault. Dont try and slide the blame away.

[jbhasban]

Weight is relevent to fat, fat is just a crude term for being overweight.

Regardless i have no problem except respect for those who allow themselves to gorge and then become obese, if they wish to date thats reasonable i wont deny them that. But to then complain when people refuse you on your weight... I wonder why.

As to the time... please, spending around 30 mins - 1 hr a day exercising when your overweight will slowly burn it off. And then you can diet to combat your choice in fatty foods.

Overall, its YOUR choice, its YOUR willpower, and its YOUR fault. Dont try and slide the blame away.

Weight is correlated with fat. But so is being athletic. Pro NFL players are rarely in the healthy range as according to BMI yet only the linemen are what I would consider being fat. Danny Woodhead is 5'7" and weighs 200 lbs. That sounds overweight to me but does he look it to you?

You do understand that some people work 2 jobs and then have to take care of family? And I lost 120 lbs in 3 years. I had to reeducate myself and workout at least 2 hours a day. I couldn't have done it if I didn't have a family to rely upon. Beyond that, not everyone has the willpower to lose weight on their own. They are told by their parents growing up that it is "genetic" and that they are "big boned" so much that they believe it. You realize how hard it is to change someone's dogma?

[Deleted]

Weight is correlated with fat. But so is being athletic. Pro NFL players are rarely in the healthy range as according to BMI yet only the linemen are what I would consider being fat. Danny Woodhead is 5'7" and weighs 200 lbs. That sounds overweight to me but does he look it to you?

You do understand that some people work 2 jobs and then have to take care of family? And I lost 120 lbs in 3 years. I had to reeducate myself and workout at least 2 hours a day. I couldn't have done it if I didn't have a family to rely upon. Beyond that, not everyone has the willpower to lose weight on their own. They are told by their parents growing up that it is "genetic" and that they are "big boned" so much that they believe it. You realize how hard it is to change someone's dogma?

I lost it when you attempted to compare pro atheletes to a women on a dating website...

Eitherway, yes weight is correlated with fat the way you responded to my post seemed like you were confused with the matter.

As for the double job and looking after family, thats great... but your telling me you wouldnt have even 30 mins to yourself? Sure it's busy, but you can still watch your diet also.

For the genetic side of weight, i told you i had no problem with that. Just the abundance of weak willed fools who like to moan people wont date them because of there weight/ appearance.

[ewhenn]

Weight is correlated with fat. But so is being athletic. Pro NFL players are rarely in the healthy range as according to BMI yet only the linemen are what I would consider being fat. Danny Woodhead is 5'7" and weighs 200 lbs. That sounds overweight to me but does he look it to you?

He does look a little chubby, honestly.

Beyond that, not everyone has the willpower to lose weight on their own. They are told by their parents growing up that it is "genetic" and that they are "big boned" so much that they believe it. You realize how hard it is to change someone's dogma?

Change someone's dogma, not difficult if you show them the facts, literally.



Do you see "bigger bones"? Nope, just more fat. If they can't change their outlook when faced with the facts then they aren't blinded by misinformation, they're just stupid.

[Romire]

Online dating does have its problems, the girls on their are always stuck up at best!

[Lady Tygry]

People are hypocrites, nothing new.

I agree with the posters saying that there's nothing wrong with avoiding potential dates with people who already have kids if you don't want kids yourself. I don't know about PoF but a lot of the more serious sites offer a series of blurbs to be filled in to get some of the dealbreakers (Don't have kids, don't want kids) out of the way for both sides. I was never the type to respond to one-liners at a bar and I wasn't the type to go out socially looking for a potential boyfriend so I did opt for dating sites (my husband and I met on match.com and dated for four years before tying the knot).

I think it's tougher on those sites for straight men as when I would look at the profiles of other women for comparison, yes, a lot of them did already have kids-- and for younger guys who had never been in anything super serious, that's a lot to try and take on-- but moreso, a lot of their profiles sounded EXACTLY alike. It was difficult to gauge their personalities (men and women alike). I also wasn't surprised to hear that women were quick to reject men's attempts to be friendly.

When it comes to online dating, I feel that intrapersonal people will have an advantage as they can write their profiles in a way that will get noticed and with a clearer understanding of what they're after, they'll have better luck. Including one or two absolute dealbreakers is fine (I wouldn't give smokers the time of day) but for those rebounders who leave a laundry list of what they won't tolerate in a relationship, well, I think that serves well enough to deter potential matches.

Never tried eHarmony. They charged a ridiculous rate to begin with so I wasn't about to let them tell me whom I could/couldn't speak to.

[Theinquisition]

I guess its just different strokes for different folks.

Peoples prirites change over time to. When I was younger looks in a mate were more important, as Ive aged ive found that having more in common and personality compatiblity is much more important than looks alone.

Fact is though, you have to be sexually attracted to someone for a long term relationship to work.

We have a guy in my guild that is CONSTANTLY whining about how he can't find a girl to date. He is easily 80 lbs overweight, doesn't shave correctly (has a neck beard) and even in his "best" photos doesn't comb his hair.

The guy goes to work....comes home.....eats..and plays wow 7 days a week...then wonders why someone isn't falling into his lap.

Ive told him, "go get some exersize, lose some weight, and go do more social activites to meet more people" Of course he just shrugs and whines about not having the time (but you got the time to play wow 9 hours a day)

Anyway, While its true that looks aren't everything a potential mate has to feel like the person they are with is reasonably healthy, and respects themselves enough to take care of themself.

Personally i like the idea of online dating. If your an adult and working 40+ hours a week, it can be difficult to find the time to meet someone. Bars don't excite me, neither does the idea of a blind date. Having the chance to break the ice without immediate rejection and doing the "peacock dance" to get attention seems like a spectacular idea

[MAGAmobile]

For the genetic side of weight, i told you i had no problem with that. Just the abundance of weak willed fools who like to moan people wont date them because of there weight/ appearance.

It takes more then simple willpower to want to change something that drastic. It can be especially difficult if you've been labeled by people as being short, overweight, stupid, anything derogatory, even if you do not know them. Some people can manage it with support, others can do it on their own. Everyone is wired ever so slightly or drastically different from each other that making such a blanket statement is kind of pointless.

[Deleted]

It takes more then simple willpower to want to change something that drastic. It can be especially difficult if you've been labeled by people as being short, overweight, stupid, anything derogatory, even if you do not know them. Some people can manage it with support, others can do it on their own. Everyone is wired ever so slightly or drastically different from each other that making such a blanket statement is kind of pointless.

It is willpower related, YOU have to want to change your weight. True there are perceptions agaisnt overweight people, and that degrades there confidence but they have freinds and family to assist and support them.

But yes, on its own will power is required to change your situation. Saying it isnt is folly...

[MAGAmobile]

It is willpower related, YOU have to want to change your weight. True there are perceptions agaisnt overweight people, and that degrades there confidence but they have freinds and family to assist and support them.

But yes, on its own will power is required to change your situation. Saying it isnt is folly...

Which I agree with. To say it only takes willpower is rather silly, though.

[Deleted]

Which I agree with. To say it only takes willpower is rather silly, though.

Im not actually sure i did say it only takes willpower, but it certainly is required for change. I'll look through my posts to see... I apologize if i did.