Just be confident and playful, don't ever find yourself in the friend zone
Just be confident and playful, don't ever find yourself in the friend zone
Sounds to me like the OP has a problem starting and keeping conversations going.
Now if you can find yourself a talker, by that I mean a person that talks alot to in and everyone, they can help in starting conversations and filling in any slow parts to keep them going.
Now if you can not find a talker you just going to have to work on your people skills a little bit at a time. Most people like to talk about themselves so try am move the conversation so that the other person is talking and you can just add in when there is something you know about or have an interest in. Just remember to listen and look interested in what they are saying.
just pretend that you know one of them "mistake her for some1 you know" :P and when you "realize" it's not "her" just ask what school they went to before etc, and don't act weird, just let the conversation flow from there, and most of all, act confident. did this once for fun just to show one of my friends how easy it would be to get to know some random girls. asked him to point me in a direction to a group of girls and BAM, proved him how easy it was just star of with something like; "Sarah, wow, that's a long time no see. what have you done since "insert school name wich you actually went to before". then she'll probably reply with something like "ehm, i'm not sure if you are talking to the right person here", then you act surprised and just ask them about their names, tell them yours and just ask if it would be ok by them if you take a seat. then just go with the flow. GL, m8
oh and btw, there is a chance that you will meet a gamer. if you do, don't fall in the trap and start talking about how much you actually play yourself, but if she's into it, by all means, share some, but keep it small. nothing says "STAY AWAY" more than a hardcore gamer wich playes like 8hrs or more each day :P there's nothing wrong about lying just a little
Last edited by dar0; 2013-02-12 at 06:33 PM.
Yeah i'm a bit of a "Talker" as you put it. Though i need to be comfortable/like who i'm with for it to happen. But pretty much.
Just find places to get practice.
---------- Post added 2013-02-12 at 06:33 PM ----------
If you are introverted that is just as it is. Some people cannot talk or hate to. I think you will eventually find somebody similar.
If it is any help....I have no problem chatting with girls or women and I have no problems getting all flirty and joke around - but I never seem to be able to make that final step. And if I am honest with myself - in my current situation I don't even want to, because I want no relationship (I am just coming out of an exceedingly long one). So it is only fair towards both to break it off at a certain point.
What was I going to say: Be really really sure what you want. Be really really sue how you are and take it from there. Als we just don't know much more about you other than that you are shy. Age? Looks? Size? Weight? Interests? Some girls like to take the fist step, others are asked. Hell..I know one pretty gir and I thought "She could have every guy". Then I get to know here and it turns out she is totally shy and thinks "Boys have it so easy...they could have every girl"
It is just crazy, I tell you and you never learn. I think.
Demonstrate higher value. Trial and error is the best way to learn. From personal experience, if your approach is too strong, then a girl goes on the defense. Make the approach casual, as if you're not interested in approaching her, you only did it because you had a genuine question and she just happened to be the most convenient person to ask. Then weave in threads of conversation.
Ex: Boy: "Hey, would you mind keeping an eye on my bag while I run to the rest room?//Do you have the time?// Quick question, do you think that flowers on a first date that happens to land on valentines day is too much?"
Girl: "blah blah" (not important what she says, but pay attention to it because you learn a lot about someone based on their responses)
Boy: "oh sweet, thanks for info/input/advice. (Add interesting topic) hey, I just noticed that you're wearing a ring on your index finger. You know, you can tell a lot about someone based on that...(tell a story)"
Bam. You've approached her without scaring her off, and you added in a fun fact, etc.
Ultimately, as many other people have stated on this thread, its about confidence. Own up to what you say, and don't give off any nervous energy or an unsure vibe. Best way to do this is to tell yourself you have zero interest in the girl, or how it turns out - because with each interaction you learn what works.
Wow I hate these threads... Why do people act like it's some challenge to talk to a girl??? Why is there a problem in your brain that makes it easy to talk to guys, but when it's a girl, you can't think of anything to say??? Act like it's a dude and you win... no more stuttering. Jesus... it's like people act like this is one of lifes many questions... "why are girls are difficult to talk to??" They're not, you're just making it difficult with all the ridiculous ideas floating around in your head.
Most likely the wisest Enhancement Shaman.
Don't try to hard, just be yourself. All the girls I know hate guys who pretend to be someone else.
Talk to them like any other male or human? Girls/Women aren't some mythical creatures...
The biggest part of talking is getting over the fear of being rejected. There are just some people that do not want to talk to me and when I find people like that I don't take it personally.
Don't bother. Just concentrate on your education, get a good (well paid) job and then the women will come after you (whilst fantasizing about your bank balance).
---------- Post added 2013-02-12 at 07:43 PM ----------
But it's more then that fear when i;m not comfortable and it's taken some time to do that. Where my advice comes from. I also have some introverted traits...it;s strange but i do. I can't stand the whole part/ar scene i;d rather be with close friends a small number of people just having fun/being nerdy.
What i can't stand are all these people acting like it;s no big deal AT ALL when for some IT IS. Everyone is different and for some even talking to other people period is a big deal i have been there so i get it. But alot of people it seems can't.
I'm a reformed social anxiety sufferer.
It's all about shoulders, eyes, and teeth.
Stand up straight and appear confident. Even if you're not feeling confident at that moment. I'm not saying walk around like Mr. CoolGuyQuarterback from all those teen movies. Just don't slouch. (shoulders).
Make eye contact, but look away from time to time. Don't look down, though. (eyes)
Smile while you talk. Show your teeth when you smile. It changes the way your words sound, and how they are received. Many people dislike their smile, do it anyway. (teeth)
Practice this. A lot. When out in public (heck, it can be Walmart - doesn't matter where), smile at people. Your first instinct will be to look away when someone looks at you. Don't. Smile. Hold eye contact for a moment. If they smile back: SUCCESS. If they don't: SUCCESS, you still did the exercise.
Getting used to other people's attention is part of the experience.
Once this isn't brutally uncomfortable, try paying passing compliments to people. "Great Jacket" is a good one. It's innocuous and you can use it on anyone. Three quick syllables. Throw that one out to someone your mom's age. You'll get a great reaction! Just make eye contact, smile, say it and keep walking. You'll be making her day.
I try to avoid the obvious. Like if a woman is wearing a really short/tight dress, I'll compliment anything but the dress. "Awesome watch." She wore the dress for attention, but you complimented her watch? She will remember you.
Anyway, that's getting far ahead of things. Just remember that social skills can and will be learned if you try.
Warning: do not post off topic or you will be infracted. Just putting this out there because so far this thread is filled with completely irrelevant and off topic posts that have nothing to do with anything.
Too be honest..single them out..be like hey my names "rapist" whats yours?
So hows your day going so far. try to be friendly and less awkward
Always try looking your best...clean hair,clean teeth and smelling good and looking good..none of that cheap axe sh*t
If she seems interested or friendly. after the next couple of days..be like i don't mean to come off strong..but can i get your number?
ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT BUT NOT COCKY
With your mouth. Duh.Thread: How do i talk to girls.
Infracted: Please refrain from posting in a way that doesn't add anything to the discussion and doesn't answer the OP's question while only serving to mock their question.
Last edited by Wikiy; 2013-02-12 at 08:33 PM.