http://www.scrollsoflore.com/forums/...ANSWERS&page=8
He clarifies what returning to the grave means. You have free will to make the right choice or the wrong one.
Q: "We also don't know what saying no and returning to the grave entails. Is it painless and a simple going back to sleep? Or is it experiencing some unpleasant form of death all over again?"
A: "They probably just stab/bludgeon/shoot you."