Online dating, age old topic

[Deleted]

Hi, I've looked through other threads on the topic and I'm not entirely sure on my decision. To put it straight, I'm an extremely shy guy who likes to take a bit of time to get to know someone before persuing anything. The problem with this is, I often am seen as more of a nice guy, friend material over this time. To put in more perspective, I'm 18, play WoW and have a average group of extremely close friends who I do things with, but I dont seem to meet new people as easily.

Over the past few weeks, considering online dating. I filled out a profile on eHarmony and it "matched" 6 matches. They seemed [I]fairly/I] genuine, however without paying the £50 odd, I would never know. Is this worth it? Other threads are entirely 50/50. Some say free sites are mostly hotspots for spiteful/timewasting people, stating that you only find genuine while paying because its a fairly heavy investment for what it does. However, especially for my age group surely the investment will pass over real matches because not a lot of 18 year olds have £50 to throw at a dating site.

I'm not at all worried about talking online for a bit and meeting if anything clicks, because its not as awkward due to knowing some stuff about each other, but I'm wondering what the best options are? Pay or go with the free sites?
A lot of people also talk about meeting partners throughout WoW. How did this come about? I frequently talk throughout the game, extremely social and friendly but I always seem to bump into the same faces, or no one is really interested. It'd be quite nice to have the common ground of WoW in a relationship haha.

Cheers and sorry if your sick of this topic.

[Fahrenheit]

Just my opinion but, you're 18. Get an education, get a job, get yourself on your feet financially, then you can worry about your eharmony matches. Priorities.

[Sorrior]

Just my opinion but, you're 18. Get an education, get a job, get yourself on your feet financially, then you can worry about your eharmony matches. Priorities.

Oooor he could go the sugar momma route..Oooor go the house husband route.

Different people have different priorities.

[Lithios]

You want a relationship.
Go
To
The
Gym.

Best advice I can give you. You dont even have to have a plan. Just go there. Even if you are just working on random machines. Just go. Always go. Your life will be so much more fufilling. I started going 6 months ago. Almost daily. Was still playin wow. Just started going. Had more sex in the last 6 months than I ever had before in my life.

A lot of people are going to say that just getting fit is going to lead to a host of shallow carnal relationships. At this point in my life its better to weed through those sort of encounters looking for the one instead of just trying to get one to notice me.

[Sorrior]

You want a relationship.
Go
To
The
Gym.

Best advice I can give you. You dont even have to have a plan. Just go there. Even if you are just working on random machines. Just go. Always go. Your life will be so much more fufilling. I started going 6 months ago. Almost daily. Was still playin wow. Just started going. Had more sex in the last 6 months than I ever had before in my life.

Not everyone just wants sex ya know....And implying there is something wrong with playing wow or other games.

Different things for different people.

[Lithios]

Not everyone just wants sex ya know....And implying there is something wrong with playing wow or other games.

Different things for different people.

I said I still played wow.

[Itisamuh]

I'd say you might as well try it out if you're curious. If it turns out to be a bust, at least you'll know and won't have to wonder anymore.

[Sorrior]

I said I still played wow.

Ahh my bad then..I read it as having quit..Tired and hungry..Need to eat.

[Gamdwelf]

Personally, online dating seems pathetic.

[Sorrior]

Personally, online dating seems pathetic.

For some of us not much choice...Some of us are shy or have no where to just hang out that matches our tastes/personalities in our local areas.

[Dasffion]

For some of us not much choice...Some of us are shy or have no where to just hang out that matches our tastes/personalities in our local areas.

I've also always liked the fact that I can choose who I want to talk to based more than just upon superficial criteria like looks. Personally I think it's pathetic to go about dating that way(superficially).

[Deleted]

I used to go to the gym, but I found that I wasnt getting as much out of it as I thought I would and struggled to get myself there each day. I have a full time job, as well as college level education (From a UK perspective that is, University doesnt interest me too much). I drive, I save well for important things (more than a rainy day) and at the moment just seek someone nice to share this with. Its taken me a while to even register to the site because I'm not entirely sure about it. Is it possible that someone shares a common interest with me within 30 miles? :S

[Gamdwelf]

For some of us not much choice...Some of us are shy or have no where to just hang out that matches our tastes/personalities in our local areas.

I'm #1 shy person on the planet.

[Itisamuh]

Personally, online dating seems pathetic.

I used to feel that way, but really where else is there? Not everyone is interested in club and bar hopping, much less the type of women to be found there, and everyone always says not to date coworkers. If you eliminate those things, it leaves few places to meet people.

[Sorrior]

I've also always liked the fact that I can choose who I want to talk to based more upon just superficial criteria like looks. Personally I think it's pathetic to go about dating that way(superficially).

Mhmm that is another perk.

[Lithios]

Online dating is what it is. It all depends on how well you are at A) Selling yourself, B) Communicating through text and C) Deciphering through images what is a legit picture or not. If all of her pictures are taken from the chest up, she is hiding something. If her pictures are more than 2 years old she is hiding something. If she tries to sext, either hit it and move on or think about the other 1000 guys she prolly sext.

There are plenty of good relationships that start online. Still, most of the people on those websites have some serious flaws and unrealistic expectations. I had a few good dates with people from online websites a few years ago but it just seems like after getting to know some of those people I could see why they were still single. My advice for online dating is to really take it slow. I know most of the time you pay monthly but if you are thinking long term then dont rush things. Send a good amount of messages back and forth. Try and get some really candid pictures before meeting but dont come off as if you are not satisfied with her current ones.

Dont be desperate but at the same time dont come off to passive. Try and be direct with your questions so you dont waste time. Post all good pictures of yourself doing different things. No bathroom or selftaken pictures. If you have to get dressed up just to go somewhere and get a stranger to take a picture of you then go for it. Above all just be yourself. Good things will come for those who are patient. You could get lucky on day one and meet the love of your life or spend years scouring the earth and never find love. The trick is to never stop searching. Ever.

[Sorrior]

I used to feel that way, but really where else is there? Not everyone is interested in club and bar hopping, much less the type of women to be found there, and everyone always says not to date coworkers. If you eliminate those things, it leaves few places to meet people.

Add in lack of interest on sports and most of your local town/cities interests(such as ALOT of outdoor and huntinglovers where i live) and makes it even worse.

[Gamdwelf]

I used to feel that way, but really where else is there? Not everyone is interested in club and bar hopping, much less the type of women to be found there, and everyone always says not to date coworkers. If you eliminate those things, it leaves few places to meet people.

Last woman I kinda almost dated or whatever, I met at a restaurant eating with my friends. She came with one of them we instantly hit it off.

[Sorrior]

Online dating is what it is. It all depends on how well you are at A) Selling yourself, B) Communicating through text and C) Deciphering through images what is a legit picture or not. There are plenty of good relationships that start online. Still, most of the people on those websites have some serious flaws and unrealistic expectations. I had a few good dates with people from online websites a few years ago but it just seems like after getting to know some of those people I could see why they were still single. My advice for online dating is to really take it slow. I know most of the time you pay monthly but if you are thinking long term then dont rush things. Send a good amount of messages back and forth. Try and get some really candid pictures before meeting but dont come off as if you are not satisfied with her current ones.

Dont be desperate but at the same time dont come off to passive. Try and be direct with your questions so you dont waste time. Post all good pictures of yourself doing different things. No bathroom or selftaken pictures. If you have to get dressed up just to go somewhere and get a stranger to take a picture of you then go for it. Above all just be yourself. Good things will come for those who are patient. You could get lucky on day one and meet the love of your life or spend years scouring the earth and never find love. The trick is to never stop searching. Ever.

Wonderful advice here.

[Tomec]

Speaking from experiences on both eharmony and match (and other free sites like POF) I'd have to say your whole 50/50 thing is about right. You're going to have your down days where no one replies, and then occasionally you will get a reply.

I know you mention not having anywhere to go and that you're shy, but no matter whether you go with the site route or not you're going to have to get out and lose some of the shyness. It can be different talking online, but the thing is that you can't keep it online forever. In fact a lot of people seem to want to really move quick from online through the site to texting/calling and meeting.

As for the "matches" you have, see if you can see and make sure they are ACTUALLY matching and still active on the site. That's been my biggest issue with the matches I've been given, they really aren't or they aren't active. Like I say I don't want a smoker, they smoke. Or they say they only want someone "athletic and toned" and I'm not (though I'm not super overweight either). And of course the best is those who haven't logged on in months.