How Do I Get Over My Best Friend Abandoning Me?

[McTurbo]

We are both University students, its our last year. We both have a lot of work. Last semester was the semester that I worked on a majority of my research papers and my thesis. This semester she is working on hers. This semester I am working on 4 research papers all pretty short, but very intensive (the teacher is hard to please, and is a challenge). While I worked on mine I managed to keep in contact with everyone, even going out to see friends for a few minutes before leaving. I have been with this friend through all her mental break downs, her depression, her anxiety attacks, etc.

She has had boy friends in the past, more serious ones than she has now (shes the kinda girl whose quick to move in, last guy she dated before her current rebound boy friend was a week before she lived with him on weekends). Now shes dating a guy in her dormitory and stopped talking to me altogether. She claims shes busy all the time (from the few instances i bump into her or she tries to make excuses to me on fb chat), but I know she still is in contact with other people in our major, her friends in her dormitory, and her boy friend. My dormitory is right next to hers. (our campus is also very small, these dorms are not massive either). I feel like my best friend has abandoned me because they replaced me. I feel betrayed, sad, angry, and so many other things.

Help me I have Gilnean tea to share

youll find that some people are like that. they cant stand to be alone. its not about being a promiscuous. they literally get depressed when they are alone. they form fast attachments and their is nothing you can do to change this behavior its them not you. when they are "alone" your their target of companionship so you do more.. when they are with someone.. that someone takes up all their focus so you get less and less of their time until said someone gets tired of the fixation and the process starts all over.

[Darksoldierr]

Take her out, lock her up in your basement, tadaaam, you just gained a friend, forever!

[Itisamuh]

That doesn't sound like the kind of friend I'd want. If I were you I'd simply not even try to talk to her and see what happens. She'll either come running back when her new source of comfort goes awry, in which case you can tell her off, or she won't try to mend things and you'll know you'd be wasting your time if you tried. Or the third option, perhaps she really is too busy for you or anyone else, and once she's got the time things can pick up as if they never changed. There's also a good chance her boyfriend doesn't like her being too close to other guys, which isn't really that unreasonable. Either way, don't be clingy and desperate, it won't help.

[papajohn4]

Her relationship will fail with her replacement, she will come crawling back for support... but she doesn't value you, she values the way you make her feel about herself.

That's why it's so easy for her to break off contact when those emotions are supplied elsewhere, with the benefit of getting sex from that other source as well.

I've been in your shoes with family and friends, and I can't tell you it gets better with time, but you do get better at dealing with it.
__

I know it's hard to believe, but it probably isn't personal(which is pretty bad in and of itself but hey.)

Here's to hoping you feel better soon, and that I'm wrong and she's just feeling insecure and needing more sources of comfort.

Exactly

[Coffer]

Females aren't there just for shagging, especially if you're the kind of guy who befriends them more easily than males (such as the OP). Some people in this thread seem to be missing that.

The friendzone bit does not apply to this thread at all.

[Lomppa]

Man up and get 10 achivment-points and just ask her in a nice non assaulting way that dont make her go defencive.
My best guess would be that you might have done something "wrong" without knowing it.
Or that she is seeking a better option, by that i mean another guy, and by other guy i mean with cash ect ect.

But who am i to either judge or call it. The different things it might be is endless. Am sure your in the best place to understand it.

[Cracked]

If she ever tries to contact you again, I urge you to ignore it or at most politely refuse her. Some time back, I was in the same position with a female friend (with somewhat of benefits), she just stopped talking to me out of the blue. I only asked twice what was going on - when I got no reply, I took the hint. What followed though was something I see myself as pretty fucking dumb for doing. She got back to me, we hung out, talked, as if nothing had happened, and I wrote it down to some mental snapping or whatever.

Three months later, the same thing happened. I was pretty angry, but I got over it (after the 5 stages of grief) and was decided not to talk to her again. But, surprise, surprise, she contacted me about four months down the road again. This time, we stuck together for about 5 months, but she just left the same way again. Obviously, she had tried to make contact with me after some time again, but that time I sent her on her way.

Moral of the story: Don't repeat your mistake three times, once a bitch, always a bitch.

[GennGreymane]

This. Other-sex friends are mostly potential love affairs or bridges to find interesting people, at least at this age. Cut the bs, it's true. You either consider the possibility of eventually fucking your friend, or if you find her/him too disgusting you consider the possibility of fucking your friend's friends.

Genn Greymane, you bear a name that makes men tremble and women wet. Honor the name. Get a girlfriend and don't ever get friendzoned again.

dont worry lol, single atm but havin mah fun :P

[Conspicuous Cultist]

Don't know if the OP is still reading this topic (most likely considering the recent post) but I've been lurking on the OT forum for awhile now, just signed on to say that I've been in a similar situation as him with a person that I've considered a friend, who happened to also be a female. We've known each other for about four years and went through leaps and bounds until she suddenly decided to stop talking. Might have been my fault, but the point I'm trying to make is that it helped me to move on and find greener pastures.

Thanks OP.

[GennGreymane]

Don't know if the OP is still reading this topic (most likely considering the recent post) but I've been lurking on the OT forum for awhile now, just signed on to say that I've been in a similar situation as him with a person that I've considered a friend, who happened to also be a female. We've known each other for about four years and went through leaps and bounds until she suddenly decided to stop talking. Might have been my fault, but the point I'm trying to make is that it helped me to move on and find greener pastures.

Thanks OP.

I am still reading. yeah it looks like were in the same situation *brofist* bitches be bitches

[Conspicuous Cultist]

I am still reading. yeah it looks like were in the same situation *brofist* bitches be bitches

Yeah! *Brofists* Now time to buy a galleon of cookies and cream ice cream.

[GennGreymane]

Yeah! *Brofists* Now time to buy a galleon of cookies and cream ice cream.

i got skyrim

lets do this!

[slime]

Everyone is different with how they react to and deal with a situation like this. People will have advice for you - but only you know what you want.
The only thing I can guarentee you here - is she will do this again if given the opportunity.

[ciggy]

I am a male, this friend is a female (yes go on friend zone jokes)



Thank you guys for your advice and insight. its good to hear from others what I've been telling my self the whole time.

She seems like a dick, and you are probably better off without them in your lives.


I lost a good friend about 6 months ago, and it still hurts, I got a friend now that I have so much more in common with. Time will mend many wounds, they never heal. It's amazing that someone that meant so much to me six months ago, means absolutely nothing to me now. Most of the time the people i have been friends with have been of the opposite sex. for what that's worth.

[GennGreymane]

hopfully time will make me forget the bad stuff