Girl advice

[Rhiziana]

Well, time has come for me i suppose.

I've went to school and kindergarten with this girl, i played alot with her in kindergarden, but kinda stopped talking when we started in school. We started talking again when i hit a rough period around 6th grade, parents divoring, dad trying to kill himself, but it went better. Then later, an old friend of mine started on the school again, and they started dating, fair enoug, didnt have any feelings for her at the time.

But then in end of 9th grade (around a year ago) i started to see her in another way. She suddenly got alot mere interesting, and they have had a rough time, and broke up, found together some times, and she was mad at him one night. Like, really mad, she had been drinking, we went out to talk, and we ended up kissing. I texted her the next day like we agreed i would. I couldnt call, because the day after (2 days after we had been drinking) i was going to boarding school (for those who thinks boarding school is a bad place, in denmark, its really good). I could see that she was holding back from the first text i got back, i had never felt like i did for her before, i told her, and she said she didnt want to start a relationship with me because i was going to boarding school.

I had a hard time accepting it, and the first two weeks of boarding school, was kinda tough because i couldnt get her out of my head, i told her that, and i could see from the moment she replied, that she was either
1) not meaning it
2) meaning it sincere and wanted me to stop talking to her
because she wrote, that she didnt feel the same way, and she was hurt because she thought i was trying to kiss a friend of hers, the same evening. I wasent, i dont like that girl, never did. So i told her, fair enough, i can't do anything about that, but she should know that i really like her, and i don't like her friend that much, and i'm sorry if i sent the wrong signals. She said she was happy i didnt go on a complete insane feeling trip, trying to get her and we didnt speak for 4 months.

She asked me what plans i had for NYE, but i was going to be in the other end of the country, and we didnt speak untill 3 weeks ago, where she asked me what i was going to do for the lokal town festival, Galten Byfest.

We started talking again, and started talking about what happened, and i found out she really liked me back then, but was afraid it wouldnt last becuase i wouldnt be home that much, max every 2nd week-end, and it wasent even sure i was going to be home that often. I ask her if we could work it out, if she still had feelings, and she said she wanted to see me first, and it actually ends out with us sitting and kissing, holding hands, walking around together, she telling me she likes me alot, and she trust me alot. She even let me be the guy she smoked weed with for the first time.

I'm going over to her place on sunday, both got plans on friday, she got work saturday and sunday is the only day that fits, and we are both looking forward to it.

The thing is however, i've never been good with girls, i really like her, i want to start a relationship with her, but i dont know how to ask her. I've talked a little with her, but she is still holding back because of boarding school. i know theres like, what, 1½ months left untill i get home, if not less, and its 30 KM away from the town we come from, but i dont know how to forward it. Should i sit with her, show her the calendar, and tell her, that week-end, and that one, i'm home, that one you can come and visit the school, that week-end i'm forced to stay, that week-end i want to stay, that week-end the school year ends, or what should i do?

I would also like to just lay and watch a movie with her, but i'm mostly into action and horror, but i want to see a romantic movie with her, not a overkill, she likes it all, but i don't want to sit and watch the texas chainsaw massacre from '74, or some other horror movie, something that we will both find good.

[OnlineSamantha]

Well, if she doesn't want to be with you, you can't really force her. Besides, it's not long 'till school's out anyway, and since you already went to 9th grade, I guess you won't be going back to boarding school*. Can't you just wait a couple of weeks to start a relationship with her?


*In Denmark boarding school covers either the 9th or 10th grade

[Rhiziana]

well, one may its easy just to wait the last 6 weeks, but when you have had feelings for her for the last almost year, it gets harder.

but i would still like a movie or two you would suggest


Boarding school can also cover 11th grade, a girl that lives right over me, her 2nd time she goes to 10th grade, turns 18 here in september i think it is, but no, i'm not going back to boarding school

[MOEEEE]

Don't be just thinking about SEX SEX SEX SEX, Cause if she finds out. She might just leave you on the spot.

[Rhiziana]

i'm not just thinking about sex, i'm a virgin, so is she

[MOEEEE]

i'm not just thinking about sex, i'm a virgin, so is she

Ok, but an advice. Thats what my friend did, he was just out for the sex. And she left him on the spot, cause she kinda found out.

[Rhiziana]

Ok, but an advice. Thats what my friend did, he was just out for the sex. And she left him on the spot, cause she kinda found out.

yeah, a friend told me the same

[Zeozordon]

Well speaking out of years of being married, and having loads of girlfriends during my teanage years, I would advise you to not worry about it there are many fish in the sea and you will find your match one day. You are still young and will still have many cases like this, and thats good (I know it does not feel like it now) but one day when you are older you can say that you lived and loved with lots of passion.

Another thing I myself dont like long distance relationships they never tend to work out so I would say let her go as a girl in that way but if you would like her as a friend still tell her that, always good to never burn down bridges.

Good luck buddy.

[Rhiziana]

Thanks Zeo!

But maybe i should make it more clear, when i'm done with this year on boarding school, i live like, 2 kilometers max from her

[Stir]

She said 'no.' Best thing you can do is be a good sport about it, shrug, and say 'Okay, then. We still good?'

I don't want to burst your bubble, but I personally think you're only feeling the way you do because she's the only girl you're really close with... It's quite possible that you're not at all in love, but just being hormone-rushed. The confusion will go away.

[Lenonis]

Honestly based on the story you told, which is likely the rosiest of the possible situations given your feelings, this really just doesn't sound like it will end well.

She's clearly not that interested in you -- and it sounds like she has a bad case of "I don't really know what I want right now."

Regardless of anything, she doesn't want a long distance thing, even 30 KM long distance. So if it is really just six weeks until you are back, then wait. If she really does like you she'll wait as well.

But honestly, I'd try to move on and find someone who is more into you than she sounds. You really do sound like your chasing someone who is either just trying to not hurt your feelings or isn't really that interested, possibly due to a lack of other options at the moment.

[Rotted]

Sounds like youve done all the hard work, just go with it arm around shoulder etc etc

but I do have a question

She even let me be the guy she smoked weed with for the first time.

What, just what has this got to do with anything oO

[Deleted]

I would also like to just lay and watch a movie with her, but i'm mostly into action and horror, but i want to see a romantic movie with her

If she's into horror movies, I suggest you try that. Watching a romantic movie with someone you're not (yet) together with is kinda awkward if you ask me. And with a horror movie she might get scared and crawl up to you seeking comfort. You can get some bonding through that. Anyway, that's just my own experience.

As for your feelings, perhaps it's best to keep it to yourself until you both have the time to be together. Especially if you're both virgins and haven't had many relationships. Starting a long distance one (even if only for 1,5 months) will be a hell. Better to stay friends as you have been for a while now, and if the opportunity is still there later go for it. Better to take chances and fail than to regret never giving it a try. Still, long distance relationships almost never work out, so better wait a little bit longer.

---------- Post added 2013-05-15 at 04:43 PM ----------

What, just what has this got to do with anything oO

It has to do with teenagers trying out different stuff and trusting people to watch over them when they're not their right state of mind? It basically is a compliment of trust.

[Rhiziana]

Thanks for the advices people
i'm going to her place on sunday, and i think i will just let things happen, and take it from there, but not push it, and wait till i get home

What, just what has this got to do with anything oO

It has to do with teenagers trying out different stuff and trusting people to watch over them when they're not their right state of mind? It basically is a compliment of trust.

yup, what Hardstyler01 said