Campus posters dedicated to the prevention of sexual assault and rape, is it unfair?

[Benggaul]

For god sakes, you're a MOD, have some class. This thread needs to close. And you need to stop. Agreed on your point, but nonetheless, this thread needs to die in a fire and not come back. Clearly a forbiden topic. Clearly the level of sexist, hatefilled behaviour has reached a level of unacceptable.
I've messaged another mod about it.

Aaaand I think you're overreacting quite a bit here. Is there someone holding you captive in your swivel chair with your eyes locked firmly on this forum thread? Blink twice if we need to call help for you.

[Gaman]

Well use being the scary man to your advantage in some situations. If you see some woman put a drink down at a party and then later come back to it turn into some big bellowing man monster and say "ARE YOU CRAZY?! DO YOU WANT TO GET RAPED!?"

What? I dont quite catch what your saying.

That I as a man, shall become "the scary man" in a situation when a girl is drunk and say "ARE YOU CRAZY?! DO YOU WANT TO GET RAPED!?" ?

What?!

[Sorrior]

See now here's someone who's confused about consent. They're not understanding that a drunk person can't actually legally consent if their judgement is substantially impaired, so even though the drunk person managed to slur out a 'yes', if their judgement was really impaired it may not actually be legal consent if it becomes contested.

Which is why I say that if a person drinks that should basically be them giving consent to have impaired judgement and take responsibility for what they do while impaired...Within reason obviously...

I mean say a woman even drunk agrees to go home and fuck a gjy fine...Byt the guy then gets buddies involved that I could definitely see counting as rape if no consent was given...

also I know alot of woman who have outright in no uncertain terms told me that no does NOT always mean no and that not picking up on that or even asking if they're sure they wanna fuck kills the mood.

so sorry but this is ALOT murkier then I think alot of women or men realize.

also think about where most casual sex partners meet...It's the bar where ALOT of people drink..And everyone has different tolerances.

so yes as I see it if you drink your responsible for your choices...Oooor I guess now drunk drivers cam say they just made a bad choice or were coerced in driving by friends while drunk...

And the flipside of all this is how we could also teach men to be scared shitless of women since one wrong move and we can get a rape accusation...BOTH genders have something over the other and I don't think that's how it should be...

[Deleted]

Which is why I say that if a person drinks that should basically be them giving consent to have impaired judgement and take responsibility for what they do while impaired...Within reason obviously...

I don't think anyone has been saying otherwise. It's when one is too impaired by alcohol or drugs to consent that it becomes rape, such as being passed out for example - there's plenty who don't see it as rape if they can't say no. Which is ridiculous. How hard can it be to not rape in such circumstances?

also I know alot of woman who have outright in no uncertain terms told me that no does NOT always mean no and that not picking up on that or even asking if they're sure they wanna fuck kills the mood.

I'm tired of people saying this. No always means no unless anything else has been stated.

so yes as I see it if you drink your responsible for your choices...Oooor I guess now drunk drivers cam say they just made a bad choice or were coerced in driving by friends while drunk...

Being raped is no choice of your own, comparing it to drunk driving has to be the most stupid comparison I've ever seen. You can simply not drive.

[TheSerialSniper]

That was a wordy title MMO-Champ!

I'm interested in seeking your opinions on the matter at hand here, Obviously sexual assault and rape is extremely important to address for both the sexes - but it is being exclusively marketed towards women - often portraying all men as would be rapists.

Personally, i approve of the idea it self (Not that men are rapists...) - it's just the execution of the ideals in posters that are drawing my ire. Broadly painting all men as potential rapists is extremely unfair, it'd make men less receptive to the idea of supporting Egalitarianism/ Feminism/ Mens rights and makes some women hostile to the idea of going out at night with her male friends.

It overall seems counter-productive to the movement, i can understand the shock/ comedy value - but can't see any here...

Here is one poster i dislike.

It outright insists that all men are potential rapists out to get the women, i laughed at it mostly - because it was so poorly designed.

(P.S, it was supposedly posted around a campus town)

Feel free to discuss, call me an idiot, or anything along those lines!

That gave me a good laugh. I am willing to bet that was made as a joke.

[Spectral]

Which is why I say that if a person drinks that should basically be them giving consent to have impaired judgement and take responsibility for what they do while impaired...Within reason obviously...

I mean say a woman even drunk agrees to go home and fuck a gjy fine...Byt the guy then gets buddies involved that I could definitely see counting as rape if no consent was given...

also I know alot of woman who have outright in no uncertain terms told me that no does NOT always mean no and that not picking up on that or even asking if they're sure they wanna fuck kills the mood.

so sorry but this is ALOT murkier then I think alot of women or men realize.

also think about where most casual sex partners meet...It's the bar where ALOT of people drink..And everyone has different tolerances.

so yes as I see it if you drink your responsible for your choices...Oooor I guess now drunk drivers cam say they just made a bad choice or were coerced in driving by friends while drunk...

And the flipside of all this is how we could also teach men to be scared shitless of women since one wrong move and we can get a rape accusation...BOTH genders have something over the other and I don't think that's how it should be...

It's really not that hard to err on the side of not fucking people if you're not pretty damned sure they're capable of legal consent. What's the absolute worst that ever happens, you miss out on sex? Contrast with the worst that happens if you err on the other side.

[Endus]

I don't think anyone has been saying otherwise. It's when one is too impaired by alcohol or drugs to consent that it becomes rape, such as being passed out for example - there's plenty who don't see it as rape if they can't say no. Which is ridiculous.

Agreed, as long as we're clear about what "too impaired" means. The one thing I take issue with is when a couple of people get drunk at a bar and hook up, and she regrets it in the morning and claims "rape".

This doesn't happen nearly as often as some people try to claim, but it's reason enough to make the distinction. If you're so insensible you can't consent? Rape. If your inhibitions are lowered because you willingly got hammered, and you made a bad decision? Not rape, just stupid. Can we agree on that?

I don't mean "got so drunk I passed out", I'm talking stuff that's entirely consensual and active by both parties. I don't mean stuff where drinks were spiked to get someone more drunk than they planned to, just normal drinking. And again; it's a minority, it's just reason enough to draw a distinction. I'm talking cases where, if it weren't for gender, you could equally argue that she "raped" him, basically. Morning-after regret for what you willingly did last night.

I'm tired of people saying this. No always means no unless anything else has been stated.

Another important distinction. One of my ex-gfs was a little, well, "freaky". Safeword freaky. If you're entering safeword territory, "no" doesn't mean "no", "teacup" means "no".

But that's a relationship that involves a lot of trust, and the party who seems to be the "victim" to an outsider is the person who has all the power. This is a very fringe occurrence, though, and there's no confusion if you're in that kind of relationship; everything is made crystal clear.

[Deleted]

Agreed, as long as we're clear about what "too impaired" means. The one thing I take issue with is when a couple of people get drunk at a bar and hook up, and she regrets it in the morning and claims "rape".

This doesn't happen nearly as often as some people try to claim, but it's reason enough to make the distinction. If you're so insensible you can't consent? Rape. If your inhibitions are lowered because you willingly got hammered, and you made a bad decision? Not rape, just stupid. Can we agree on that?

I don't really see regretting having slept with someone as it being rape, so yes, I can agree on that. I've done it myself while drunk and woken up the day after with real bad anxiety over it but that's life, not rape.

Another important distinction. One of my ex-gfs was a little, well, "freaky". Safeword freaky. If you're entering safeword territory, "no" doesn't mean "no", "teacup" means "no".

But that's a relationship that involves a lot of trust, and the party who seems to be the "victim" to an outsider is the person who has all the power. This is a very fringe occurrence, though, and there's no confusion if you're in that kind of relationship; everything is made crystal clear.

Yeah, but I don't use safewords. Never did and probably never will. To me saying no always means no.

[prwraith]

Imo women shouldn't walk down questionable places alone scantily dressed, for the same reason that I don't walk alone wearing jewelry through the hood.

Yea it's not your "fault" but until rape and theft and assault are completely removed. How smart are you really?

[taheen74]

Yeah- even as a woman- I find that poster both stupid and insulting to men.

[Deleted]

Imo women shouldn't walk down questionable places alone scantily dressed, for the same reason that I don't walk alone wearing jewelry through the hood.

Yea it's not your "fault" but until rape and theft and assault are completely removed. How smart are you really?

Women wearing burqas get raped. It's not to do with how one dresses no matter how much you'd like to believe it.

[Spectral]

Agreed, as long as we're clear about what "too impaired" means. The one thing I take issue with is when a couple of people get drunk at a bar and hook up, and she regrets it in the morning and claims "rape".

This doesn't happen nearly as often as some people try to claim, but it's reason enough to make the distinction. If you're so insensible you can't consent? Rape. If your inhibitions are lowered because you willingly got hammered, and you made a bad decision? Not rape, just stupid. Can we agree on that?

I don't mean "got so drunk I passed out", I'm talking stuff that's entirely consensual and active by both parties. I don't mean stuff where drinks were spiked to get someone more drunk than they planned to, just normal drinking. And again; it's a minority, it's just reason enough to draw a distinction. I'm talking cases where, if it weren't for gender, you could equally argue that she "raped" him, basically. Morning-after regret for what you willingly did last night.

Agreed, I don't think two drunk people doing something that one regrets is really "rape" by any reasonable definition. I used to engage in that kind of behavior pretty regularly, but I think as I've aged, I've settled on it not really being a great idea, regardless of the legal rules. I just don't want to be caught in a circumstance where someone (including me) winds up feeling bad about something that they've done, or feeling like they might have been coerced. People making bad decisions while schnockered isn't rape, but it's probably still generally best to just pass on sex with really schnockered people, even if you're pretty drunk yourself.

This is, of course, talking only about non-relationship situations. My general opinion is that relationships exist in a state of perpetual tacit consent; that can be withdrawn at any time with an explicit "no", but you don't really need an explicit "yes" in a relationship.

[Simca]

Campus posters are great and all, but this is truthfully just a 'let's talk about rape' topic, which are better if started on a more equal footing.

Closed.