I haven't been in good shape at all for the last few years. I have zero confidence and many other emotional issues. I have chronic OCD along with being overly sensitive. I've become insane, and I'm not the same person I once was. I'm pretty sure I'll crack and end up as a criminal some day. I haven't had any positive things happen to me these last few years, and it's building up. The other day I lost it because my car was stalling, I destroyed it with a metal baseball bat. Both were flat afterwards. I've never had any urge to harm another person, and I never will. I'm afraid I'm going to severely injure myself purely out of rage. I've also been having suicidal thoughts such as; "Would a knife be quicker than a fall?", "Would consuming a poisonous substance be more peaceful?". I don't want to kill or harm myself, but I do not see a valid reason not to. As far as I can tell, I've got no future. I feel like there's nothing for me here. Is there anything else I should do other than seeking help? Am I just going through a phase? I just needed to get all of this out before I actually seek professional guidance. I'm not trying to bring anyone down, as I am happy myself at the moment.
Do you have any stories you'd like to share? I'd love to read them, Thanks for reading.