How do you deal with gaming and a girlfriend?

[Deleted]

Hi,

I just turned 30 years old a couple of days ago, I have a pretty normal job , I love games and I've been gaming since I was 7 yo. I have only 2 months of relationship with my girlfriend.

She works 16 hours a day with a free day in between working days.
We spend time together in her free days, we recently rented a 1 room apartment (bachelor's room) for her to live in , so I can go to her place whenever she's free.

My problem is that I have a gaming addiction and I'm afraid that she will leave me because of this and I don't know how to split my time in a way that she doesn't feel neglected and I get my gaming time.

She doesn't like video games at all but she is understanding and she knows everybody has his/hers hobbies.


Any advices please?

[Deleted]

Gaming addiction?

How can you have one whilst working... I mean...

Do you spend all time off on games? But if so, how come you're dating?

I'm confused maaan...

Edit; I knew a bloke who used to raid with me on wow, he was a bang up guy - but he was bitch whipped by his wife, he had to get "Raiding tokens".

They basically meant he could log the game after a certain time and raid with us, it was hilarious but also admirable to see it work.

[Toccs]

27 here and been living with my wife for 6 years.

What we do is have "date nights" so every Thursday and Sunday evening we will spend time together watching films or whatever she wants to do. Seems to work a treat. The key is communication i think.

(Thats not to say we don't argue from time to time about it but it does help)

EDIT: Oh and the part I missed, if she leaves you because you enjoy gaming then you simply aren't meant to be in my opinion.

[Asics]

First things first you will need to discus with her a way to manage your time together where neither of you build resentment toward each other, you at her for limited game time and her toward you for pushing her away to play games.

You need to determine what is more important to you: games or your girlfriend. That being said I don't mean cut out games. You still need to be individuals with individual hobbies and time apart.

[Mongoose19]

16 hours per day? Is she a doctor or something?

[Hyve]

You should find an appropriate balance within the relationship that allows both of you to spend quality time together, without any interruptions or disturbances, but you should also find the time to be alone, to enjoy yourselves with your own hobbies and friends.

You should be able to easily find time between World of Warcraft and your partner to ensure a healthy relationship with both, but don't forget to take time away from your hobbies to spend time with her. Having set days where you go out may seem like a good idea, but it really isn't. You need to be able to tell your friends you're not raiding tonight, because you're taking your girlfriend out for a meal.

If they have a problem with that, then you might want to consider finding a guild with more a realistic view on life. My concern though is you've already claimed to have a Gaming Addiction, a term too often thrown around these days.

Chances are you're not addicted, you're just really enjoying yourself. If however you start to neglect your partner, your work, your everyday duties to play games, then you'll be nearing the levels of an addiction. Don't be so hasty to label yourself and worry about the impacts, you know what a gaming addiction might do to your relationship, so simply don't let it get to that point.

[Stuffs]

If its an actual addiction then fucking snap it out. This is fundamentally different from splitting "your time and her time". The former is unhealthy, the latter is normal.

That said, 16 hours, 6 days a week? Either I'm misreading that, or that's a 96 hour schedule.

If that's the case, I would really just cut it out altogether, and basically designate her day off as time to spoil her. You're going to be free most of the week, and her window is very limited as it sounds. You can spend the other 6 days a week playing video games.

[Hyve]

16 hours per day? Is she a doctor or something?

Many people work 14 - 16 hour shifts, you would be surprised the percentage of people that do. The 9 - 5 society really isn't as large as you would think.

[Sierra85]

Juggle both your relationship and your gaming, giving each a focus from time to time.

Make sure you make her/him feel special and that you are thinking about them from time to time, don't over do it but do something nice. Also you need to talk to your significant other to ensure they understand how important gaming is to you. Communication is key.

[Stuffs]

Many people work 14 - 16 hour shifts, you would be surprised the percentage of people that do. The 9 - 5 society really isn't as large as you would think.

Yeah but most people with those shifts that I know get more than 1 day a week off.

[Mongoose19]

Many people work 14 - 16 hour shifts, you would be surprised the percentage of people that do. The 9 - 5 society really isn't as large as you would think.

Most I worked was 12 hours per day. Although it was physical work I don't imagine people doing 16 hours per day at single place unless it's some high responsible job like mentioned doctor. Still I did 12 hours each day for 2 weeks and then I had 2 weeks of free time.

[Immitis]

no such thing as someone who doesnt like video games. you just have to force her to play games until she finds a genre she likes

[StayTuned]

Quit excessive gaming. The only good advice someone can give you.

[Toccs]

Most I worked was 12 hours per day. Although it was physical work I don't imagine people doing 16 hours per day at single place unless it's some high responsible job like mentioned doctor. Still I did 12 hours each day for 2 weeks and then I had 2 weeks of free time.

People who work in theme parks end up working 14+ hours a day 6 days a week unfortunately. "Chessington World of Adventures for example"

[Siri]

I'll be honest, if she works that much and gaming is such a huge part of your lifestyle and she doesn't enjoy it at all herself then playing as much as it sounds like you do won't be sustainable, something usually has to go. It's a bit like distance relationships, the ultimate goal there pretty much needs to be moving together at some point. When my girlfriend had a "school -> work -> sleep" schedule it felt really important that we were able to spend the little time she had off together.

What we do is have "date nights" so every Thursday and Sunday evening we will spend time together watching films or whatever she wants to do. Seems to work a treat. The key is communication i think.

This is a very good thing to do. Try to make these days sacred to the extent that you can.

[Perryn]

My GF also plays WoW so that works out reasonably well. We do make a point to take time outside the game only for us though a couple of times a week & at other times when it's suitable, which is important. Game is fun and all but a relationship does take effort to make sure it doesn't grow stale and old and both feel valued.

WRT your specific situation however I'd only suggest that you spend her free days together and forego gaming, if she works that much you'll have gaming time when she works and deserve to have your undivided attention when she is not. If you can't handle that I'd say it's strictly your problem and nothing she should have to deal with, but of course if you place it on the table and make it something of a deal with it or not she can then make the choice to walk out as well, if you cannot live without gaming every day. Don't think you'll find too many (long-time) relationships where you can game exactly as much as you want, even where your SO should be a gamer, albeit exceptions may exist I guess..

[anveena]

So stop playing video games as much as you do now.

[Deleted]

90% of the people that claim that they have a gaming addiction don't, they simply have bad self-control. If you've truly been addicted to something you know what it means to not be able to do/think about anything else. That being said, you could be one of the 10% but then you should worry less about the girl and more about quitting games and getting some help.

As for the GF part, juggle time inbetween the two? Treat gaming like any other hobby. How would it look if you were into model trains, football or trading card games? You can safely spend a full 3 nights a week on your hobby. With 1-2 nights as "optional" if you and the mrs aren't up to anything you can play a few hours here and there. But do not reserve more than 3 nights a week for gaming.

Make plans with her, let he know that you have raiding/arena or w/e sceduled mon/wed/thur or something and explain to her how much you enjoy that. She'll get it.

-3-4 nights a week on games
-3-4 nights a week with her
-Make plans for both things, be ready to compromise in her favor, girl>game, real person>hobby. I would prio my fiance over a night with the guys, or a raid, if it meant something to her. But if shes just home watching tv i can just as well be in the other room playing for a while. Again, that being said, make sure you have a healthy give/take relation, don't become whipped and follow her every wish either.

[Deleted]

How much do you play a day/ a week ?

[Deleted]

16 hours per day? Is she a doctor or something?

No she works in a casino and she needs to monitor the entire casino

- - - Updated - - -

You should find an appropriate balance within the relationship that allows both of you to spend quality time together, without any interruptions or disturbances, but you should also find the time to be alone, to enjoy yourselves with your own hobbies and friends.

You should be able to easily find time between World of Warcraft and your partner to ensure a healthy relationship with both, but don't forget to take time away from your hobbies to spend time with her. Having set days where you go out may seem like a good idea, but it really isn't. You need to be able to tell your friends you're not raiding tonight, because you're taking your girlfriend out for a meal.

If they have a problem with that, then you might want to consider finding a guild with more a realistic view on life. My concern though is you've already claimed to have a Gaming Addiction, a term too often thrown around these days.

Chances are you're not addicted, you're just really enjoying yourself. If however you start to neglect your partner, your work, your everyday duties to play games, then you'll be nearing the levels of an addiction. Don't be so hasty to label yourself and worry about the impacts, you know what a gaming addiction might do to your relationship, so simply don't let it get to that point.

Im not playing WoW anymore since 2011, ive gotten past my WoW addiction problem, I just love games and I play : StarCraft 2, Skyrim, Fallout new Vegas, Diablo 3 and other games that eat a lot of time.