And how are most martial arts taught these days? badly, but thats true for 90% of martial arts, not just karate, TKD and whatever style of kung fu you were referring to.
personally I take great care in selecting clubs to train at. And the TKD I learnt is all about self defense, all about real world applications and not about competitions. In fact I really cant fight in comps anymore as I instinctively go for prohibited areas like neck or groin or knees.
Even things like MMA and BJJ have rules in how most people apply them, usually for comps, and people learn these and ironically take them over into real life....
As with any Martial art, the way its taught is key, not so much the style.
But you obviously have prejudices, ignorant as they are, so there is probably no point trying to make you see reason. I would ask why you think styles like TKD dont have chokes, or locks or holds. If you stay away from the whole WTF comp thing, an awful lot of TKD is locks and holds, as with many other styles you seams to dislike whilst knowing nothing about.