Only way to show them was to prove them wrong.
And you didnt
Only way to show them was to prove them wrong.
And you didnt
Everyone has triggerpoints that can cause them to be off balance and play badly. You clearly met one of your such triggers; no shame in that. You already have proven yourself with your pvp ranking and can gain confidence from that.
You dont have to accept bad behaviour, it is perfectly allowable to maintain your own standard. Maintaining your own standard *can* lead to ignoring/muting players you dont like, or asking the group to kick such players, or leaving yourself because you value your time higher than to waste it on such people. There are a lot of people who do not enjoy abuse yet play well. Finding them is something that requires attention but can be very rewarding in fun gameplay in the long run - it is how I enjoy my guild.
You can also learn to ignore such abuse, to just take it. Not my way, but each their own.
Or you can become more assertive: respond back, both in words (establish what you accept and dont accept) and actions (show them you can play). Assertiveness is something you can practice, there are courses or you can make roleplays yourself (the other acts like an abuser, and you say back what you would have liked to say; then stand still at how that works for you).
I find the respons of your friend rather weak; without a mic, typing would have worked too - it is much more likely your friend did not wish to rock the boat or dare to be confrontational; again a case of 'how do you wish to spend your play time'. Maybe you can practice being assertive on each other via roleplay .
Picture very related
Now that that is out of the way, I feel for you chica. Being a girl in this game is hard sometimes. Back in Cata, I was tired of being on a raid team, so I did all of DS through pugs. And I learned to never speak in vent unless 1) I heard another girl or 2) I knew someone in the vent. If I spoke without one of those two, it was always a flurry of "omg a girl", with several of them going crazy in vent, and then one or two of them whispering me with apologies about their guildies, but letting me know that they were true gentlemen.
I don't know why we can't just all game in peace sometimes
The OP said this was the worst experiences in 6+ years, so most of this is not helpful: (1) Your anecdotes do not overwrite how distressing the situation was; (2) reporting them does absolutely nothing, suspensions cause hatred toward Blizzard, not reflections on behavior; (3) the last paragraph is almost certainly already known to the OP.
Pithy sayings and a quick pat on the back do not do justice.
@OP What you went through is completely horrid. Being male, I have not faced that kind of aggression or sexism, but as a human, I feel sympathy toward you and rage toward them. May you find a group that appreciates your skill.
Wow, those must've been the smartest guys in arenas EVER!
You can clearly see how they have learnt to attack their own weakest player to assure their victo...wait a minute....
I'm getting the idea that those players aren't the smartest ones around. The only thing that made their group weaker was their reaction to a girl.
How stupid do you need to be to attack your own members without them actually doing anything wrong so far?
O well...I hope your ignore list wasn't full yet.
From my 10 years of mmo experience I can say that I don't have a problem with girl gamers in PUGs but in my guild I follow a strict "no females" policy. This is not because I dislike women or thing they are worse gamers but because I know their mere existence will disrupt the guilds social structure, through no fault of their own, but because some guys will no longer be able to act rationally with a girl in voice/guildchat.
This might be sexist and unfair against females because its the guys that are stupid, but for me its a numbers game. I can't have a guild of mostly females because of numbers and mixing a few females with a lot of males is a recipe for desaster so it's a sausage party.
Last edited by muto; 2013-10-08 at 07:01 AM.
A similar thing happened to me:
I was doing a flexible raid (14 people total) where the other 13 players were all girls. We all joined mumble and as soon as we started checking mics and they figured out I was a guy, all hell broke loose. "Oooh we have a bad boy here", "Yeah a boy, no grown man plays games", "He is probably drooling because we are all gals, searching for the kleenex... ewww...". This was rather disturbing, but I decided to continue on and prove them that I am not just some perv boy on the internet and I can indeed raid.
So we start killing Immerseus and I am doing really well killing the shadow blobs on my undead frost mage (killing like 4 at a time on my own) but then in the later stages we start dying to AOE, because they didn't heal the water blobs. So as any good raid member should, I mention what went wrong - "I think DPS was really solid but healers need to heal the blobs or we gonna die to AOE", and that is where they started viciously attacking me:
"Oh here he is, the DPS bad boy, thinking he is better than the girls"
"Yeah trying to compensate for your small penis with your big DPS numbers?"
"You may top the dmg meters, but you sure ain't topping no girl in your life"
"Typical guy, never plays a healer, always DPS, but teaches others how to play"
"He's an undead mage, probably so greasy long-haired metal-head in real life, hahaha"
I was SHOCKED. I did great DPS, wanted to give some advice but they shunned me because I was a guy. This was really painful, because I didn't choose to be a man, that's just what I happened to be born as. I should have left when I realized they were sexist in the begining and there were 13 of them - the devil's number. They kicked me out of the raid with the words - "Move out of your Mom's basement, get a construction job, you're not a boy anymore to play games"
Have any of you guys experienced anything like this? Damn I feel horrible, makes me want to cry.
Last edited by mmoc86ffe76140; 2013-10-08 at 06:44 AM.
"In today’s America, conservatives who actually want to conserve are as rare as liberals who actually want to liberate. The once-significant language of an earlier era has had the meaning sucked right out of it, the better to serve as camouflage for a kleptocratic feeding frenzy in which both establishment parties participate with equal abandon" (Taking a break from the criminal, incompetent liars at the NSA, to bring you the above political observation, from The Archdruid Report.)
Almost every time I try to set up an RBG with oQueue, I run into this. They get kicked from the group instantly though, because I don't tolerate socially awkward pigs (Which most PvPers are, sadly..).
While you might want to "Prove them wrong" or whatever, I wouldn't bother. People that act like this don't have the mental capacity to grasp when they've been put in their place.
Just leave, and find a better group.
I've received a ton of bad stuff myself, nothing about my skills yet, well, so far at least
Generally I avoid talking on pug vent if I can, unless some ability really HAS to be called out, or I dc or something.
Worst I've gotten was probably when I had to leave a raid earlier and said so, then a guy said: You women should be tied to radiators and beaten so you won't leave.
I believe he meant it jokingly but wasn't funny at all to me <.<
Seems like this would be a good place to leave these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqTvdz7mv7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eAYUHC7E4A
It's kinda like what that guy wrote, only funny.
lol pvp is always like this, its full of little retards that think they can talk shit but irl they're nothing, so because they're extremely insecure about there pathetic social lives they take it out on whoever they can online, its hilarious.
At least PvE isn't always like that.
Sounds like you need a better caliber of friends
I agree with you....I am a guy and I have no fucking clue why some men/boys that play this game act like they been locked in prison for 30 yrs. Girls says something on vent and they freak out like OMFG A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. That shit really annoys me and I do not understand it
People only talk shit over the internet because they know nothing is going to happen to them so they feel all high and mighty
if you approched someone like that something to their face IRL they'd either apologize or get offended/pissed.
http://bit.ly/12e7MsQ <--- My New Monk Main
The people you play the game with is like a bag of grapes. Do you stop eating the grapes just because a few of them were really small and sour?
People always talk shit about how bad the wow community is. Been playing since BC and there are very few incidents that were just absolutely as ridiculous as some people make them out to be. Sure, they were bad experiences, but I've had more fun playing the game and interacting with other players than not. People just get this illusion because they read too much shit posted by forum warriors or people who are just /b/tards.
Get yourself a thicker skin, crack that whip at those nerds with their monitor tans. Get all snippy and be like "really? fucking seriously?" prattle on about some shit about how they probably live with their mom and can't get a job and suck ass at everything in life including video games, and are taking out their frustration on you because getting laid is the most difficult boss encounter they have ever attempted.