Kicking your kid out at 18?

[axell]

IS this a thing specific to the US ? Because here unless there are extraordinary circumstances, kicking your kid out at 18 means you re a terrible parent. Families are a lot closer here. Most people move out when they're married or (like me) work in another city.

[Deleted]

UK here. My parents have always said if we're contributing to the house (in other words, working) or in education then we can stay as long as we need to do whatever (so finish education, or save and look for somewhere to live). If we did neither and were spending weeks, months just doing nothing and eating food and using utilities, they would for sure kick us out. Not with the intention of making you homeless - I doubt any parent does it out of spite - the idea of it is to *force* you to assess your situation. Suddenly there's no safety net, so you have to go and look, seriously look, for work.

I lived in a flat away from home for my first year of uni, but money was pretty tight so I moved back this year and got my old job back 2 days a week. I help my mother with bills and buying things for the house, since I'm not forking out a few hundred quid every month in rent. Same for my brother, he works with my dad full time and is saving up so he's allowed to stay at home as long as he's helping out with things. Both of us tend to buy our own food too so.

When I have kids I'll do the same thing. If they're trying to better their future I'll support them. If they want to be lazy and try to leech from me they can leave and see how long their attitude lasts.

One thing that really annoys me is people on benefits who could be working (well enough to go out drinking on weekends, not well enough to do a desk job...) who take money off their hardworking kids (whether that's school with as much work as they can fit in, or a fulltime job). Fuck that. Their rent and shit is already paid for.

[Kerath]

Wrong. Although it's worth noting that I think if you want to continue living at home after 18, you should be either:
a) In full time education (college/uni)
or
b) In (or actively seeking) gainful employment and contributing towards household bills/chores. Even if it's not a lot that you're chipping in, it helps to prepare you for when you ARE ready to move out and pay your own way.

[Rukentuts]

Depends. If the kid was a lowlife with no drive, then yes. Otherwise no.

[Papier Light]

I left my home when I was 20, but if it wasn't out of my own free will and my parents kicked me out I would never talk to them again, not a word.
Kicking your child out of your own house or letting them pay rent is in my opinion pretty shameful to do.
(with a few exceptions of course; like they are really short on money for some reason)

[Kurioxan]

Kind of wrong.

Just because the kid is a legal adult doesnt mean he has to fend for himself, thats what a family is to start with, a basis one can always fall back if needed, not jail where you are kicked off when you finish your time.

There is a reason the age of leaving parents house is getting older and older reaching 30s nowadays, while 50 years ago a man could work and provide for a family of 4-5, nowadays you need 2 people working, sometimes 2 jobs to be able to pay for all the bills and even so many are in debt. Unless yoou want to be in some shithole or claim debt for the next 20 years, which might be ok for people who sacrifice a future for the present.
So most stop seeing a reason to move into a shithole while they can live with their parents for a while longer until they are stable.

While i consider it wrong, the degree of "wrongness" depends on how feasible it is for an 18 year old to honestly fend for himself, and nowadays? erm...
People have this notions of times past and dont think of present situations, am fairly comfortable due to family possessions and sometimes i get problems, can only imagine a kid fresh 18 in todays market with no skills, experience or place to stay, would also depend on location but not a great thing to do.

[itslen]

I think it really really depends on the situation. If it's one where the child is pretty much sitting around all day expecting Mom and Dad to do all the stuff around the house, plus pay everything around the house, then I think this or some sort of similar "wake up call" would be in order. I'd say generally though in normal situations kicking a child out on his 18th birthday is pretty horrible.

[Drekker17]

Wrong unless your kid is a jerk or you want them to have it harder than the next person. I really don't see the benefit of moving out or kicking your kid out at 18, even just moving to dorms...it doesn't seem to increase success.