Originally Posted by
Karl
Hey everyone,
I need to get something off of my chest and I hope to get some insights from your views. I know this is a gaming website, but it's the only good forum I know with a lot of different people. It's ok to be hard in your reactions, I just want to ask not to reply if you don't aim on helping me.
I've been together with my girlfriend for 6 months. She's 22, I'm 28. She has vaginism, a condition where unvoluntary muscle-contractions prevent her from being penetrated. This is a result of being sexually assaulted when she was fourteen years old. Without writing walls of text about how amazing she is: I love her. There are other ways to be intimate and while her condition has scared nearly every potential partner away, I'm willing to work on this, or live with this. So we've always been intimate with only clitoral stimulation. She reaches orgasms every time, something she never experienced with anyone else. We're trying to 'fix' her condition by doing gentle well-timed finger insertion. When she's arroused it seems to help her to handle the pain. It's hard for me to do something that hurts her, but she really wants to reach the point of being able to have sex.
About a month ago, in the heat of a discussion, she told me she hasn't had 'the feeling' down there since before she met me. She told me I need to be more passionate. Now it's true I have been very careful with her, because of what happened to her and because I want to be gentle with her. I've tried to adapt my approach and on first glance it worked. We've had some very passionate nights since then.
Now yesterday she told me that the physical click has disappeared. It's the most painful thing anyone has ever told me. She immediatly added that she loves me and that she thinks it might have something to do with her hormones or her birth control pill. I feel terrible and depressed. She tells me she thought the problem was in my approach, but that she's now convinced that that's not the case. That there is nothing I can do. Which closes the door of this dark place I'm in.
Please talk to me, I've never been in so much pain. I'm terrified of losing her. Anything that can help, thoughts, views, similar experiences, are extremely welcome. If you don't feel comfortable replying in this thread, please PM me, you can count on my discretion.