(High school) Can anyone help me with a girl that I like?

[Deleted]

One thing that you need to do is be up front about your intentions. Tell her you like her romantically, don't play the waiting game ("ooh, if I'm a nice guy and a good friend she will fall in love with me!"), because that never works.

[nocturnus]

What does it mean when a girl says yes to going out on a date and then the next day asks "as friends, right"? Does this mean I have no chance with her or what can I do to try again? She's Swedish, if culture makes a difference.

We talk a lot, she laughs at my jokes (even bad ones), asks me questions about myself and what I know and smiles whenever I talk to her.

If this sounds at all familiar is because I asked a different question a while ago about a dance (where she went with another guy because I was too late to ask her). She is not with that guy anymore.

We talk a lot, ever since she's come to America. She usually initiates it too now and days ever since I started to stop. Almost daily. Yesterday even, while waiting for an audition, we talked for about an hour straight.

Can anyone PLEASE help me?

I'd probably say: "Never mind, I have friends, that's not what I want from you. Latah mastabatah!"

But that's me.

[Deleted]

Just ask her with she wants to go out on a properly date, why are people always so cryptic

[Deleted]

Women, I bet even women don't know what she actually means Go and see what happens!

[Weightlifter]

"As friends" often means that she doesn't actually want to be your friend, but doesn't want to insult you. Male-female friendships where one person is attracted to the other one, but the interest is not mutual, tend to be extrelely uncomfortable to the one who is not interested. Especially at your age when boys and girls don't have much in common. Usually friendships revolve around shared hobbies or interests, and I doubt you would have many.

[Torgent]

I have had this said to me before a date before, I also ended up dating that girl for a while after she said that. it does not mean you have no chance with her, it means this date doesn't signify the beginning of your relationship...but it can. Take her out, have a good time, offer to pay for her but if she declines you accept that. Don't force the date on her, offer it. At the end of the day you have to decide if losing her as a potential friend is worth the chance of dating her. Honestly at that age I would say go for it. The worst that can happen is that you get turned down and she doesn't want to talk to you for a while. If you were good friends, she will likely come back. Even if the relationship fails, it doesn't mean you can't still be friends (despite what immature people say on the internet all the time). Good luck.

[Neyze]

People seriously need to find a new forum for these questions. This really isn't the place for this kind of thing.

[gunner_recall]

So what you do, right.

First, body language is important. Try to touch her arm a few times during the date. If you go too high, then it's kind of more as friends. Going too low can seem too aggressive. You kind of want to cup it around the elbow. If you put your hand on her back, try to do it around the thoracic area of her spine. Preferably, your middle digit on her 9th thoracic vertebra. Any lower and you're just trying to grab her ass, any higher and you're being a creepy backrubbing mouthbreather.

Second, respond to her positively. If she talks about her hobbies, feign interest until you can identify with something that she's talking about. Most likely, it's just going to be uninteresting dribble since, judging by the nature of your post you're both probably in high school, so she's going to have dick-all to talk about.

Finally, do you want to seal the deal? At the end of the night, you have three options: nothing, kiss, fuck. Doing nothing is obvious. Keep your distance and your hands to yourself. Kissing, you need to lean in a little close, maybe put your hand on her hip, heel of your hand resting on her stomach. You want to fuck her? Push her hair back and when she kisses you, break off the first one and then go in for the kill. Pin her against the wall and grab the back of her neck.

[Triggered Fridgekin]

Grow a beard and challenge and defeat other males to a beard off to show you're alpha as fuck.

[Immitis]

pretty sure shes trying to bang your parents

[magicaldandruff]

Do it. See what happens. That's how you learn to live and love.

They say things aren't the same after that, but that's a lie. My sister has dated like 3 of her friends and each one has failed, but they all still regularly hang out and are still good friends.

[Velaniz]

pretty sure shes trying to bang your parents

Indeed. Anything else would be just willfully naive at this point.

[anyaka21]

My opinion - she's going out with you, probably means she's at least interested. 2nd, if she just got out of a relationship, she probably doesn't want a dealt to be felt like she's being pushed into another relationship, going from one guy to another. If she does, she probably wants it to feel like it's completely her choice, and one that she's completely comfortable with.

Thus, it's a fine line from the pushing a little bit, and as thus push her away if she really doesn't want to be pushed, and her wanting to go out with you again and putting out.

Meaning, that I don't think she's made up her mind yet. It doesn't mean a relationship or sex is off the table, but it's on her and not you.

[Deleted]

Dude, you've been friendzoned. Tough luck.

pretty much this. but. chicks are different. tell her its not friend-date and see how it goes.
remember - you can not "loose her" if she already considers you "nevermorethanfriends". if she says "yes" - you win. if she says "no" - good - you don't have to post embarrassing stuff on forums anymore - just go and find another one (never ever try to wait for better time or another chance - waiting is a waste of your youth ). trust me - in high school things change pretty fast and there is no reason to focus on one mishap.

and for this:

Can anyone PLEASE help me?

there is only one person that can help you - it's you
remember - whatever answer you get - there WILL be another girl, so don't waste too much time on forums, but go to the gym or something - level up irl

[THE Bigzoman]

Frieeeeennnnd zoneeeeeee

[kamuimac]

meh waste of time instead of going out with her ignore her totaly and start picking up one of her friends - no point to waste time if she fiendzones u before u even go out .

My opinion - she's going out with you, probably means she's at least interested.

if she really set it as a friend date in the begining it only means a) shes really not intereted in him as a man b)if a hot guy will aproach her before their date she will ditch him (OP not hot guy ofc) without a second of regret casue the reason she goes out with him is that shes bored and has nothing else to do -_-

[Falu]

It's highschool.. she has no idea what she wants, or is playing hard to get... eitherway... these girly mind games and puzzling behaviour is just not worth it imo...
Girls really get the piss out of me... I say, wait till she's atelast 26+ with a bit more sanity... when that biological clock starts ticking, they tend to ease on the mind games and be somewhat more mature.

stereotypes? maybe... but from my experience... I hate girls my age (20-22), and get along far better with girls older than me (26-34).
)

[Claymore]

I've had the same thing happen before. Let me explain what I did, and you can draw your own conclusions from there.

We were talking about local restaurants, when she mentions this new Japanese place. I ask if it's any good, and she says she hasn't been, but has heard great things. I ask if she wants to go, and she says yes. Then "As friends, right?", to which I fumble and just say "Yeah, just as friends". She wound up cancelling plans, and we never really went beyond that.

You want my advice? Make your feelings known, and do it with as much confidence as you can muster. Go to her, and say "Actually, I think I've changed my mind, I'd like to take as a date, instead, because I really like you". Take my advice; girls love it when you say "you like them". It gets the point across that you're attracted to them, but in a way that seems charming and playful. If she declines, just laugh it off and say something like "Alright, you win; friends it is!"..

Fact is, it sounds like she probably likes you. Even if she declined the "date", if you've never made your interest known to her before, she might just be surprised. I've been reject before only to date those game girls later on, because I guess they had to subconsciously stop thinking of me as "just a friend", and more as "potential dating-material", which sometimes takes a little time.