A generalization? I never suggested that his dad preferred alcohol and women. They were just suggestions and nothing more to establish examples of what his dad could possibly perfer. And I already acknowledged that my antagonistic posts were in response to how people were bad mouthing there dads. So yeah.
So your father stopped treating you like a child at mid 20's, is what you're saying? Because I don't see why two grown men would have to see each other if one doesn't want to. You have to understand that being a father or a mother doesn't mean they're a parent.
He was still there until you became a legal adult. Does his bad suddenly overflow him being good? He could of been like a lot of deadbeats and bailed immediately following the divorce with the exception of child support.
Now I may come off as antagonistic, but you are just sounding flat out ungrateful. I wonder how many children experiencing divorce worldwide would LOVE to be in your shoes when it came to your farther.
Actually he wasn't there from age 13. Also stop the SOMEBODY IS WORST OF SOMEWHERE ELSE. I aren't denying that, there's somebody worst off than everybody. Am I saying he was a bad father during age 1-13? No. Am I saying he was a bad dad post 13? Yes! Worlds worst dad? Far from it.
This^^^, ended at 13?Growing up I had a good relationship with my father, we did usual father - son activities. Then after the divorce he moved 4 miles away and saw me every weekend and alternative Fridays I visited him.
As a father, my obligation to my kids does not automatically stop when they turn 18. At that age, I am not LEGALLY responsible for them, but I am still their dad. Their emotional experience will always be one of my priorities, and I tend to be the kind of person who does more than what is minimally expected of me, since the minimal amount is usually far from efficient (especially with regards to parenting). It is sad that so many of you do not define your own paternal roles in such a manner (likely because you are not fathers yourselves), and it speaks volumes about how your dads may have behaved (and may continue to behave) in your life and why many expectations of fatherhood in this tread are so very low.
In short, dads don't get a pass just because they were present from birth to 18. The legacy they leave is one of life-long action, or lack there-of.
I've lost 222 months with my father now, on account of him being dead. I'm of the age that he still should be with me (34). My mother has had her brain fried by Alzheimer's for a good 10-11 years as well. I'm sure my story is of the least shitty end here. As far as parents go, the fact that you have them, you're infinitely more lucky than some of us.
As far as how long we all have, I'm sure I'm digging a fast grave here myself, and with the heart disease and Alzheimer in my gene pool, I'm not looking to live to be a hundred. Or even 70. That's the positive outcome. Some of us cut our stay short, some shorter than others, but it's not fun for any of us who have to do so.
I still think you should concentrate on what you have, and what you still will have. Fuck all the rest.
It's not really a my life is worst contest
Indeed - but there is a very big difference between validating and invalidating responses. What you are doing is positive. However, others are attempting to invalidate the OP's experience by essentially stating that they had it the same or worse and don't care, so he shouldn't, etc. It's a little self-centered and arrogant, to believe that one's own experiences are universal - not healthy at all.
You can't appreciate what you have unless you understand what it would be like if you didn't have it.