Absurd things you have done

[Jayburner]

Just now I put my ear up to a garbage bag and thought I heard dripping gurgling sounds thinking the bag was doing weird things. Turns out it was the coffee percolator I got for christmas running in the background. I should move the coffee maker away from the garbage can.

Maybe not so absurd but it cracked me up after having my ear against a garbage for a couple minutes.

[Deleted]

Hmm, ... dunno, using all kinds of liquid things to masturbate with when I discovered my sexuality!

[Thelxi]

Looking for my lighter all over the house for 5 minutes only to discover I am actually holding it in my hand.

[Deleted]

My wife was ironing some laundry once and she asked me if i would like to have my t-shirt that i had on me ironed. For some reason when i said "yes", i also at the same time offered my chest for her to iron. And for some reason she didn't think that this was odd, but started ironing. Hurt quite a bit

[Deleted]

Stealing the Sit of a subway train when I was 7 because the other kids said I wouldnt dare it.

[Digglett]

Told on my brother's friends to my counselor for trying to show me his penis, needless to say they were drunk at the time. The reason I did this? To get out of math class. (I was about 11) They also got in trouble with the cops for this as well. Yeah....

I did something similar too by threatening to slam my finger into my locker to break it to my counselor for attention, well and I wanted to get out of school too.

Oh yeah, I also punched this oval window in our house which outlooks the front yard and broke it because I was hungry and my dad was late coming home with my Burger King.

And I made microwaved brownies with no egg/milk and actually thought it would turn out good. (I made it with hot chocolate mix)

[Forgettable]

One time I was at a summer camp eating a meal with my cabin mates. I was sitting next to a pretty cool dude, we had become decent friends. I grabbed the pepper shaker from the table and shook it right into his eyes as hard as I could. He tried to wash his eyes out with a mixture of water and crying for a good 10 straight minutes. To this day, I still don't know why I did it.

[OzoAndIndi]

Hmm... not that much really that wasn't on purpose just goofing around.

I suppose the main ones that come to mind would include (a bunch of years ago) coming out of the bathroom one night and was startled by my own shadow when I caught movement of it/myself out of the corner of my eye. >.>

And this is in the easy realm of being TMI but early last year I somewhat freaked out one morning thinking I had a.. well... erm.. stringless tampon, and lets just say I thought it was lost somewhere and unable to retrieve it. Turned out it was fine, I had not used one before bed even though I felt sure that I had.

And then on the reverse some months later I went and used two at the same time. >.> I swear, the 30s causes some measure of brain rot, that nonsense just isn't like me. :\

[Deleted]

Is Jaylock and Jayburner the same person? Their threads are eerily similar.

[Forgettable]

Is Jaylock and Jayburner the same person? Their threads are eerily similar.

It's his alter ego.

[Deleted]

Drinking from 6pm til 6am in a nightclub in Hong Kong. Came out trying to find my GF (who had fucked off back to the hotel)

Got obviously swarmed by hookers who hounded me. Ended up running away with the pack chasing me. Managed to find a taxi & shouted at the driver "GO GO GOOOO!" half hanging out of his car. Made my getaway.

This was made more surreal, as it was 6am in the morning in Wan Chai and businessmen etc were making their way to work.

Surreal, but funny when I think of what it must have looked like!

[Deleted]

Drinking perfume.


At least it made me very anti-alcoholic, which is good.

[apepi]

I cooked peanut butter on the stove, I also have sued peanut butter instead of butter to see what it would do in a cookie recipe.

[Chirri]

I drank some Herbal Essences shampoo when I was ... 4 or 5? It smelled good. It did not taste good. I still remember being seated on a dining chair no more than 3 feet from the corded rotary phone while my mother called poison control. She still remembers me smiling with bubbles coming from my lips.

[Deleted]

When I was younger, we were really poor and lived in a little crappy apartment with a serious mouse problem, so we put up some traps (the regular neck snapping ones). When I saw the dead mice in traps, they were so cute I didn't want to throw them away, so I took a razor blade and skinned them. Got some really nice looking mouse pelts, until the dog found and ate them. I was so sad.

[Sykol]

When I was younger, we were really poor and lived in a little crappy apartment with a serious mouse problem, so we put up some traps (the regular neck snapping ones). When I saw the dead mice in traps, they were so cute I didn't want to throw them away, so I took a razor blade and skinned them. Got some really nice looking mouse pelts, until the dog found and ate them. I was so sad.

If Jason Voorhees kept a diary...

[Prag]

Hmm, ... dunno, using all kinds of liquid things to masturbate with when I discovered my sexuality!

This.

Oh, the embarrassment of my mom wondering aloud "Where'd I put that face cream."

[Useful]

licked iron fence during winter. i was 10 years old and got so scared!

[Prag]

When I was younger, we were really poor and lived in a little crappy apartment with a serious mouse problem, so we put up some traps (the regular neck snapping ones). When I saw the dead mice in traps, they were so cute I didn't want to throw them away, so I took a razor blade and skinned them. Got some really nice looking mouse pelts, until the dog found and ate them. I was so sad.

Holy shit.

[Mystrome]

Received a bj while doing 130 on the highway. Steamed up the windows of that old hatchback too.