31 years old here. I have a good stable life. I have a good stable savings. Ive learned C++, got my EMT license, studying German, volunteered at several convalescent homes and attend church just to help out the people in need. I contribute to my city as much as i can. Part of the local elementary and junior high school Parent/Teacher council. Its not much but i've started 2 new food bank in 2 separate cities that give out food on a weekly basis. And I rent an apartment complex for 800 dollars a month for the sole purpose of letting all the kids who dont have computers or internet access to come and do their homework. I have 11 desktops and 5 laptops, 2 laser printers all ready in case anyone wants to use it. In one of the poorest neighborhoods and nobody has ever tried stealing from me. Sometimes the parents come in and search for jobs. And im really happy about all of this.
* Why do I state all these skills acquired and things ive set up?????
I have come to the conclusion that, I've done most of this stuff out of sheer boredom. I think that im hitting mid life crisis or something because none of these things feel like any kind of accomplishment. I mean what EXACTLY did I manage to do?? ANYONE could have done any of this, hell, people ARE doing way more. Making a significant contribution to society and here I am doing the same thing I was doing yesterday, the same thing I will be doing the day to come. WHERE is this going? It feels like its just the same. I need to do something. Maybe even run for city council. I've thought about it. Politics??? I dont think im cut out for that stuff. I give a shit about the people too much to do something so selfish.
I called my city and asked them for a meeting to see if we can knock out some of the poverty. They said that there are no funds available and that there are public social services available to those in need. What do I see not even 3 months later? A brand new fucking FOUNTAIN and beautiful steps walking inside a police department. NO FOOD FOR THE HUNGRY, but lets build a huge fountain of water with BIG BOLD GOLD letters.
Have any of you felt like you're just a consuming bag of meat? Throughout all the skills I've acquired throughout everything that we have done. Food drives and mass blanket giveaways, it feels like its a culmination of NOTHING.