There's this girl at work...

[Deleted]

Here's the whole story. about 10 months ago, I started an internship at a Belgian IT company, which transitioned into a 6 month training paid for by the government. at the end of the six months, there were still some holes in my knowledge (and a few minor issues with my attitude), so the training was extended by another 3. The training is supposed to end in the company hiring me as a fulltime employee for an indeterminate length. I'm 23 years old btw.

About 2 months ago, in early december, we got a new employee on our customer support/helpdesk service. she's a brunette, not going to give too many details, but I think she's cute, to the extent that I think about her almost every day. not in a creepy, sexist or psycho way, but more in a "I'd love to get to know her better" way.

the thing is, I have absolutely no idea on how to best handle this. I'm afraid that I might risk either of our jobs, or the friendship I've built with my coworkers. I don't want to lose my job over a girl. relationships between coworkers are very often frowned upon, and I really don't want either of us to get into trouble because of this.

What's more, I know nothing about her apart from her name and her looks. I don't know how old she is, what she likes, or even if she already has a relationship. Again, I don't want to risk anything.

Finally, I have absolutely NO experience when it comes to relationships or even the other gender. I'm afraid that I'm going to say something that's completely stupid or lame or insulting.

I don't know how to handle this. I'm a huge fan of reading books, but this isn't something you can learn from a book.

[Lupinemancer]

My suggestion is, try to talk to her, approach her as a friend, and learn something about her over time. Eventually she'll reveal everything. I tried with this girl I know, and I got a ton of Info about her

[Deleted]

Put on your big boy pants and talk to her.

[Al Gorefiend]

Ah yes, the female. Those strange "other" people who speak and communicate differently than us men.

I read these threads and feel like theres a nature documentary in the works. She's a human, you're a human, nothing vastly different about yourselves other than a few anatomy things.

Talk to her like she's a guy, ask her if she plays computer games. Do something other than wish you did something.

[Gindry]

You are being very contradictory. You said you don't want to risk anything, yet you want to take the risk. I'd say as long as you guys get your work done, there's absolutely no problem with relationships in a working environment. As for talkign to her, it's very simple: You guys already have something in common which is working for the same company. Just talk about work to break the ice and then go from there.

Overall, ask yourself if the risk is worth taking.

[XDurionX]

NEVER EVER start anything at work. No matter how hot she seems. There´s absolutely no possibilty for this to turn out well.

[Captain N]

When did the Human Race become so afraid of talking to people? There's one word that will help you learn all you need to know...It's called "Hello" quit getting inside your own head about what could be and concentrate on saying Hello.

[Deleted]

NEVER EVER start anything at work. No matter how hot she seems. There´s absolutely no possibilty for this to turn out well.

This is also one of my concerns. I don't want to risk anything, so I'd rather not do anything than to risk my entire job on this.

[Deleted]

This is also one of my concerns. I don't want to risk anything, so I'd rather not do anything than to risk my entire job on this.

Are workplace relationships forbidden? If no then there is no risk, stop making excuses.

[Jayburner]

I say go for it. She could be the one.

*edited to add*

If you guys hit if off because you took my advice, name your first born after me please.

[Al Gorefiend]

When did the Human Race become so afraid of talking to people? There's one word that will help you learn all you need to know...It's called "Hello" quit getting inside your own head about what could be and concentrate on saying Hello.

I blame cartoons and nickelodeon for creating this idea that boys and girls are so vastly different from eachother that men are from Mars and Women are from Jupiter. That only boys play video games and only girls use conditioner. I talked to my now wife out of nowhere and went right into things I was comfortable with: World of Warcraft, Biology, reading, being insulting to people etc. etc. Now I'm married. whoopie.

[Mystile]

NEVER EVER start anything at work. No matter how hot she seems. There´s absolutely no possibilty for this to turn out well.

This guy doesn't get it. Work relationships turn out well often. It's only a problem when it's between a superior and someone below them, for obvious reasons. And even then if the two people aren't completely brain dead it's not hard to "hide" a relationship.

[Deleted]

dude 21st century... do this like a pro, noob.

what u wanna do is you wanna find out her name, find her on facebook and stalk her profile

[TeeZed]

NEVER EVER start anything at work. No matter how hot she seems. There´s absolutely no possibilty for this to turn out well.

Yeah, this

[Damax]

start out by the basic and try to be friend with her no? she could start out as a co-worker friend and move on to bigger things later on. Trying the date/gf/hitting on is extremely discouraged on the job and since you don't know her if she don't like you she could pretend you tried to harass her or something.

First step is being friend/friendly. second step is seeing her outside work. outside work is where you do the real work.

[PhoenixC13]

Don't shit were you eat. I am a manager at a high end resort that's were probably 95% of employee problems come from is hook-up and relationships among them. I always joke that if you sleep with a co-worker your probably sleeping with everyone at work.

[Karadros]

*snip*

Having been in a very similar position myself, not doing anything about it in three years because I'm a massive coward, and regretting it ever since, I say go for it. Find a way to start talking to her and go for it.

[Farath]

There's this girl at my work too. Lot's of them actually.

[Darkrulerxxx]

NEVER HAVE WORK RELATIONSHIPS....that is basic common sense 101...if you value your job and your future careers, don't make the mistake of eventually hooking up with this girl and she calls harassment when things dont go well. Your future job will be kaput and you'll be single yet again. find someone not from work.

[Iamanerd]

Even if it's not forbidden to have a relationship at work don't do it, it causes issues down the line regardless. When the two employees involved break-up or w/e shit happens they try to put others against them etc. Fucking waste of time imo.