Can't control my anxiety

[alemaite]

Hello everyone,

I don't really know where to ask for advice (as you can tell) so I thought, maybe I'm not the only one dealing with this issue. I've been a calm person all my life, all my problems never really got to me and made me nervous, a lot of people actually envied me for being so calm under pressure.

Well... this has changed. I've become older (in my mid 20's right now) and I had a lot of fun, but now I'm trying to actually take care of my future. I'm halfway through college, and where I live you get 3 attempts at tests, if you don't pass your exam the 3rd time, you can't ever study anything that has the test you failed 3 times. So you pretty much have to start from scratch! This might not be a problem if you're 19-22 years old, but when you're in your mid 20's, it means you would be done with college if you had to start all over again when you turn 30!

I have never had a problem passing exams and got slightly nervous before tests (like everyone) but it has escalated to the point where I get random panic attacks during the night and can't sleep! They are so bad I feel like I'm going to pass out and my heart starts pounding (I'm in good shape and work out regularly, so it's really weird!).

The night before my last exam was one of the worst nights in my life, I felt like I was going to die. It was pure agony for 10-12 hours, random spikes of nervousness, my heart started beating really quickly and I started thinking about negative things like: "I'm going to fail this test, and my future is going to be horrible!".

The funny thing is, I did well on all tests and during the tests I can actually concentrate but before the test I can not.

Now comes what is really worrying, it's been 2 days and I'm done with all tests, and I'm still getting panic attacks! This is absolutely insane, I literally am done with all tests and am still afraid of the results, it's like I'm being threatened and my life is in danger. They start out of nowhere, middle of the day, middle of the night, what the hell?!

No one knows about how much this worries me, my girlfriend has noticed but I just told her it's nothing I'm just a little nervous.

I have suffered from depression when I was younger because of a really bad break up of my parents and a tough childhood but this is the first time I'm getting panic attacks so severe, that I have to sit down or I pass out. I also feel like I have to get it all out of my system and feel like crying but I can't! All this because some stupid tests! Mind you where I live I would still live alright even if I had a minimum wage job, this fear is absolutely irrational and came out of nowhere!

I thought about seeking psychological help from a professional, but the last time I did that (when I was depressed) the drugs I was given only made things worse (I slept like 20 hours a night and couldn't have a normal life!) so I'm kind of desperate and wonder if anyone else has ever suffered from this?

[satimy]

I would avoid taking anti-depressants or Benzos, which is what you would most likely be prescribed. Your body will naturally deal with the stress, it just needs to time to adjust. I would seek counseling, that can really help. Also whats your diet like? If you eat a lot of sugar, carbs the spike in blood sugar can add to stress. I always try to avoid eating 4 hours before I try and sleep. Best of luck.

[alemaite]

I would avoid taking anti-depressants or Benzos, which is what you would most likely be prescribed. Your body will naturally deal with the stress, it just needs to time to adjust. I would seek counseling, that can really help. Also whats your diet like? If you eat a lot of sugar, carbs the spike in blood sugar can add to stress. I always try to avoid eating 4 hours before I try and sleep. Best of luck.

My diet is very good, I eat almost no sugars, mostly complex carbs, a lot of protein and veggies and good fats. I don't think it's a physical problem. Do you think it just takes time? It's been 1 month now and I'm still getting these panic attacks!

[ThePants999]

This isn't going to help, but it's totally true: http://xkcd.com/557/

[Aldred]

Well I'm no doctor, but this sounds quite familiar to me. Anxiety and panic attacks often occur after depression or mental/emotional trauma, so your situation isn't uncommon. Although it'll be extremely distressing just now, it's not at all as serious for your health as it feels. Once you learn more about it, it'll help your mind retrain its way of thinking and settle down again.

I would definitely go and see a medical professional. Either a psychiatrist, or just a regular doctor for starters. Read up on the kinds of medication they'll offer you - depends on your country, but you should be able to find out online - and decide which sound okay to you. They'll likely be different from what you got for depression, and most don't have many side effects. Some of the more powerful options, like tranquilizers, can be addictive though. They'll almost certainly suggest cognitive behavioral therapy too - which is usually used in conjunction with medication, and both together tend to work better than one or the other in isolation. They can tell you about breathing techniques which are easy after some practice and will really help deal with panic attacks on their own. I would recommend at least trying medication though, if it's what your doctor suggests. In any case, whatever treatment you settle on should be a choice between you AND your doctor, not just them telling you what you'll take.

[Pitkanen]

Well, beyond the "Seek professional medical help" which I do recommend based on the context you've given...

how much do you exercise?
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/0...ype=blogs&_r=0

[Deleted]

I would avoid taking anti-depressants or Benzos, which is what you would most likely be prescribed. Your body will naturally deal with the stress, it just needs to time to adjust. I would seek counseling, that can really help. Also whats your diet like? If you eat a lot of sugar, carbs the spike in blood sugar can add to stress. I always try to avoid eating 4 hours before I try and sleep. Best of luck.

Fucking bullshit.

Don't listen to this guy, i'm on a moderate anti-depressant which helps with anxiety; and i can state it's helped a lot, in combination to certain relaxation techniques i can avoid an attack.

Seriously though, seek help with your mental health; It's not a joke, which i realized a little late.

[Snorkles]

This isn't going to help, but it's totally true: http://xkcd.com/557/

As someone who hasn't been in school for nearly 7 years this is scarily true.

[alemaite]

Well, beyond the "Seek professional medical help" which I do recommend based on the context you've given...

how much do you exercise?
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/0...ype=blogs&_r=0

I exercise about 4 times a week.

I guess I'm going to seek medical help, idk what else to do

[Deleted]

Breathing exercises. It helps more than you can imagine.

Start feeling the ground under your feet. Concentrate on your body right where you are. The feeling of your feet on the floor. Wiggle your toes and tighten your fists a bit.
Perhaps jump up and down a bit. Just feel your body as much as possible.
Then place your hand on your stomach,
Inhale deeply for 4 seconds, feel your stomach expand
Hold your breath for 4 seconds
Then exhale for 8 seconds.

Do this repeatedly. It will calm your anxiety.

[Souflikar]

Give it a little time to see if these feelings pass. You've proven that you can nail the tests before so you obviously know/knew the material. If it is in fact the tests that are getting to you and they are already completed, that's a done deal and dwelling on them will not change the outcome. In the meantime, do something you enjoy that might take your mind off of things. After you get the results and see, that you passed with flying colors, take a deep breath, then go treat yourself to something nice.
If after all this and even WHEN you pass you still feel the same, talk to a professional and let them know you're not there just for a pill.

Good luck, you'll be fine. :-)

[Damerflinn]

The fact that 75% of Americans (not sure where you are from because you don't mention it specifically) are on not just prescription drugs, but anti psychotics, should be enough for you to be leery of ever taking one or any kind.

99% of the medical field in all countries is about keeping people on medication because cures don't pay the bills. There are many natural remedies for extreme amounts of stress. Meditation, and actually figuring out what is causing the spikes of anxiety can go a long way, as it is usually not the thing you most readily attribute as the cause. (Meaning while it may seem like it was your studying or what have you, there is likely something else your sub consciousness is not happy about)

From a VERY young age (5-7) I have had extreme amounts of anxiety and have been diagnosed by several doctors as being Bi-Polar. It has been suggested to me many times to be on various anti psychotics, including things from anti depressants even lithium pills. However, as I grew up I started to hate the way such things made me feel, and the restrictions that they put on your mental capacity (most anti psychotics are designed to literally stop the output signals of the brain that make you feel the way they do, often not only blocking negative feelings but positive ones as well) and stopped taking medication entirely.

I still suffer from the same anxiety spikes, and drastic mood swings, but meditation, and a control of ones thoughts have allowed me to control them enough that they have gone from completely debilitating experiences to controllable and tolerable events.

I know a lot of people have their own opinions on it as well, so I leave it up to your own thoughts and feelings on it to decide. But smoking a controlled and moderate amount of cannabis can also be extremely helpful to some people. However I do suggest using caution, for some people it allows them to focus on other things and get their minds off of the anxiety inducing thoughts. For others it causes them to hone in on those same things and makes the situation worse.

For me it has been a god send. It's like a mental inhaler. It must be used with caution and responsibly, so as not to just smoke yourself stupid all the time, but there is a reason that so many people get their medical marijuana cards for mental illnesses. It works, just not for everyone, and not if you abuse it.

[Deleted]

Yes, I definit. don't recommend using cannabis to solve this issue. I am very anxious when it comes to my safety and I remember when I smoked cannabis it made it worse because I heared my hearth in my ear and it just didn't feel "right". It made me even more anxious, I was afraid I was going to die and kept on wishing on that I didn't smoke it, what could have happen to my hearth, what I can take to remove the effect without causing any more problems like drinking a lot of water but I had to go downstairs for that and I didn't dare because I was stoned and didn't really "trust" myself on going downstairs, I might fall off or what not, crazy times.

Anyway, my shrink wanted to describe drugs but I didn't want it so she said to drink this tea everyday before I wanted to go to sleep (because I had problems sleeping at night because of a certain fear). The tea was based on Valerian and Passion Flower. I think it kind of worked and I'd suggest you to do the same first, no harm in a cup of tea. If you still wake up at night, I'd make an appointement and worst case scenario, (s)he will describe drugs you'll have to take when you feel anxious and looking at the situation this only seems to be the case at times of a lot of stress and exams.

[sugarlily]

Aw, I'm so sorry you're going through this *hugs *comfort

I know how aggravating it can be, especially when it feels like you know better but the anxiety comes & washes over you anyway. It's like the difference between imagined or real threat(s). I have gone through this the last few years. It never used to scare me when I'd have another medical emergency. I knew my Mom & husband would be there for me & since I hand carry all my medical records most issues should be figured out without too much hassle.

However the last few ER visits have been pretty horrible. I've lost my positive calm outlook & moved into a quietly fearful place, with heart pounding, cold sweats & terrible overly-anxious feelings. I'd liken it to happily scuba diving in a lovely environment & then realizing you're too deep in the underwater cave, possibly lost & don't have enough air to get back to the surface. Panic. Mind-numbing panic. No clear thinking. Overwhelming dread. yet I can't put my finger on any exact imminent threat(s).

I NEVER used to have this feeling or reaction, even when I was in some dire medical emergencies. I find praying or meditating, a repeated sentence or two, really helps me. I also found that that fear we feel that is going to just overwhelm us needs to be called on & examined close up. Go ahead & follow through with the what ifs~ what if you didn't get the degree you wanted from school, what if that kept you from a certain job, what if you ended up with a different job, what if it wasn't as much money as you wanted, etc etc. Follow it through to its conclusion & you'll usually find the worry behind the curtain that we didn't face is not that ugly after all. Go ahead & go to the worst possible outcome, and examine it thoroughly; is it really as awful as we imagined it when we didn't really look at it but just felt that "oh no" feeling & let it carry us away.

I think at least a part of anxiety can be conquered by facing it down & seeing that the nebulous 'what if' is much more frightening than an actual play-through of the worst (reasonable) possible outcomes we let carry us away in our minds.

On the other hand, there are very real anxiety disorders that cause us & our whole body to react as if a very real imminent danger is upon us. Our hearts beat, we sweat & shake like a lion is stalking us & is now right around the corner & there is nowhere to hide. If you can peek around the corner & realize the lion isn't even interested is us or as strong or bloodthirsty as we thought & you still have terrible, life interrupting anxiety, then you should seek help.

No dr. should force you to take any medication & if they balk at you for that you go to the next dr until you find the one who is willing to work with you & you feel happy with their level of care. Among other things, The patients' bill of rights states;

All patients should be guaranteed the following freedoms:
Taking part in treatment decisions ~
You have the right to know your treatment options and take part in decisions about your care.
Parents, guardians, family members, or others that you choose can speak for you if you cannot make your own decisions.
Respect and non-discrimination ~
You have a right to considerate, respectful care from your doctors, health plan representatives,
and other health care providers that does not discriminate against you.


To seek consultation with the physician(s) of their choice;
To contract with their physician(s) on mutually agreeable terms;
To be treated confidentially, with access to their records limited to those involved in their care or designated by the patient;
To use their own resources to purchase the care of their choice;
To refuse medical treatment even if it is recommended by their physician(s);
To be informed about their medical condition, the risks and benefits of treatment and appropriate alternatives;
To refuse third-party interference in their medical care, and to be confident that their actions in seeking or declining medical care will not result in third-party-imposed penalties for patients or physicians.


I wish you the best. Don't put this off. You & your life are worth the time & effort to look into this & get it under control. You deserve to live without overwhelming anxiety interfering & interrupting your life & making a possibly bigger issue by attempting to self-medicate. :)

[alemaite]

Thanks for all the kind words and help, it's good to know that I'm not the only one. I will look into some teas to calm me down but usually this "natural" stuff doesn't do anything for me.

[Hooked]

Drink some beer, that will make you not care.

[Meillquei]

I also suffer from constant anxiety, but not nearly as severe as you have described. I will give you a few tips that have helped me out with it:
-Talk to someone you trust about this. As others have already said, seeking professional help wouldn't hurt. If you are uncomfortable doing that, then talk to a friend or family member (or your girlfriend).
-Have you ever tried meditation? It works wonders for calming yourself down. If you don't have time for it, just take 5 minutes out of your day to do some deep breathing.
-Though you seem to be the most anxious about taking tests, keep reminding yourself of how well you are doing in your life. Remind yourself of how well you have done with your studies!
-I have heard that drinking green tea helps to calm anxiety.
-As someone else suggested, exercise also works wonders with anxiety. If you don't already, try to take some time out of your day to do some, even if its just 5 push ups or something.

I hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

[Charmanderp]

Bottle it up inside and never say anything to anyone about it. Then if you get good at you can channel it into rage whilst playing video games or weightlifting.

[Meillquei]

Bottle it up inside and never say anything to anyone about it.

Sorry but this is a terrible idea and one of the worst things anyone can do to themselves. It is essential to talk about it to someone to help put everything into perspective.

[satimy]

Fucking bullshit.

Don't listen to this guy, i'm on a moderate anti-depressant which helps with anxiety; and i can state it's helped a lot, in combination to certain relaxation techniques i can avoid an attack.

Seriously though, seek help with your mental health; It's not a joke, which i realized a little late.

Good advice, next you should tell him to hit the bottle.