Masked Gunman Who Invaded Miami Home, Smacked Female Victim In Face With His Penis.

[lockedout]

"During a 3 AM home invasion yesterday, a masked intruder placed a gun to a Florida woman’s head and demanded, “Bitch, where is the money?” while striking her in the face with his penis, according to cops."

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...h-penis-576432

Have at it.

[Baracuda]

5:38 like that?

[Kujako]

Florida. Americas wang.

[Gheld]

More yellow journalism.

He sexually assaulted her. It's as simple as that. This headline almost tries to make it out to be comical, but it's not. He brazenly broke into her home, and sexually assaulted her at gunpoint.

[lockedout]

More yellow journalism.

He brazenly broke into her home, and sexually assaulted her at gunpoint.

By smacking her in the face with his penis.

[Trassk]

Florida. Americas wang.

ah.. Florida

[Gheld]

By smacking her in the face with his penis.

And if somebody held a gun to your head and did the same thing to you, you'd probably cry yourself to sleep for the rest of your natural life.

[Deleted]

I sealed my place in hell the moment I laughed when I read the title.

[Verain]

Lol how ludicrous.

Miami is a silly place.

Hopefully they find these two. Robbery plus sexual assault should carry some prison time for these turkeys.

[Belize]

Alright then. That's... Interesting...

I'm sorry wat. I can't even begin to imagine how it went down...

[Eroginous]

Florida

Not surprised in the least.

By smacking her in the face with his penis.

Ban guns?

[Kraenen]

More yellow journalism.

He sexually assaulted her. It's as simple as that. This headline almost tries to make it out to be comical, but it's not. He brazenly broke into her home, and sexually assaulted her at gunpoint.

seems more like you're trying to euphemize it

[Cyberowl]

Sounds like a porn set.

"Where is the money, b****?"
"I...I don't have it...*
"Then you'll have to pay for it - takes out dick - another way!*

*first seconds of CSI Miami soundtrack*

[lockedout]

And if somebody held a gun to your head and did the same thing to you, you'd probably cry yourself to sleep for the rest of your natural life.

What does this have to do with anything?

[Dellis0991]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkey_slap
Turkey slaaaappp!!!

[OneSent]

Sounds like a porn set.

"Where is the money, b****?"
"I...I don't have it...*
"Then you'll have to pay for it - takes out dick - another way!*

*first seconds of CSI Miami soundtrack*

I completely lost my shit at reading this.

I know. I know. This was an absolute, terrible violation of this woman's natural rights and I hope they catch the guy.

Buuut, you've gotta admit, of all the ways it could have gone, this was perhaps the most creative and least intrusive.

[Anguished]

ah.. Florida

This pops in my head whenever Florida is featured in a news article. I love Florida as a holiday spot, but god, some of their news stories are the weirdest.

[stumpy]

Put him away for sexual assault. The end.

[Dellis0991]

Put him away for sexual assault. The end.

lol says the the guy with that pic!!!

[stumpy]

lol says the the guy with that pic!!!

There are much more... pointed pics that I could use if I were inclined to assault you via the Internet.