just found out my girlfriend has been smoking weed for a year on a daily basis.

[Garkanh]

So. i've been with my girlfriend for a bit over two years.

when we met, i had just gotten out of my bad habbit of smoking weed every second day. i realised i was heading towards trouble, and i had only been smoking for 2-3 month back then, but i knew i had to stop before it got out of hand.



fast foward a few month, me and my girlfriend is hanging out with one of my good friends back then whom i used to smoke a lot with, and so we shared a joint. it was her first time back then, and even though i allowed her to try, i told her she shouldn't get used to it, as it was a one time thing.


fast foward an other year. i'm done working as a blacksmith, and joins the army. That took me 8 month, and i get home. me and the girlfriend have had some trouble during the time, because of the distance and me not being able to come home every weekend. but being done in the army, we now had time for eachother again, and i didn't feel like a lot had changed. we had fun like we used to, did a lot of the same things as we used to do.


now yesterday, she told me there was something she needed to tell me - she had been smoking weed for a year, the last 6 month on a daily basis, before school, after school and after work. so three times a day, most of the time.


and she knew i had made up my mind and didn't want anything to do with drug addicts of any kind. new years eve i even threw out a couple of people from my party because i found out they were smoking weed in my bathroom.




so we got into a fight, and i didn't really know what to do. I'm unable to talk any sence into her, i really want her to stop smoking that shit, but i just can't.


so eventually i gave up, shared a joint with her, and we had the best sex i've ever had. but while i know smoking once in a while can be fun, like it was for me, i still don't like her smoking every day..


edit:

she shouldn't get used to me and my friend providing her with it as we did that one time, not in general. i wouldn't care if she smoked it once a month, or week even, but going from nothing, to smoking 3+ times a day while i'm in the army, finding out after i get home, is kind of a shock for me.



i just care for her, and don't want her to get into trouble. she drives stoned, study stoned, even works stoned. if she can manage school and her work (she works in a local store, so she deals with other people all the time) that's fine. but the thought of her driving while stoned, getting stopped by the police or loose her job doesn't really amuse me.



i've done stupid things myself when i was at her age (i'm 21, she's 18). I spend 40k dollars in 6 month partying and drinking all the time, smoking weed (as she do now), and driving while affected by it, and showing up drunk at work. luckily the worst thing that happened for me was crashing into a tree while drifting, ruining my car. but i've changed a lot since then, and i just doesn't want her to get hurt.

[Immitis]

shes just trying to sleep with your parents i think its time to move on

[starkey]

Shes sleeping with your weed smoking friend, cause its her source of supply if shes smoking that much.

[Sam the Wiser]

Dude you're getting cheated on....

[nerdling]

Start smoking crack to one-up her.

[Randec]

Your convictions seem to be applied as arbitrarily as your capitalization.

what should i do? just allow her to do it?

But seriously, you can't "allow" her to do anything. She's a grown woman. You just have to decide if you're going to be with her or not.

[TheBeardedOne]

Dob her in to tha police. That will ruin her life over nothing

[Deleted]

Three times a day is rather extreme. At some point that might not do it for her anymore.

[Thelxi]

So what. If she can handle it why not. 3 joints per day is NOT extreme.

[cyndallis]

Reminds me of that old Offspring song, self esteem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abrn8aVQ76Q

[Deleted]

time to move on

[Nakatomii]

Dont take this rude..

But when you were smoking weed like you said.. and that alot I guess.. people told u to stop? Did you stop, no you didnt. No she is smoking weed, you cant tell her to stop. You can only support her and make her see that smoking weed isnt really good, and tell her that you realised that. If than she still doesnt stop, well I guess you should just have to accept that. Just because you told yourselve that you didnt want nothing to do with it, doesnt mean she has to...

[Hotasianchick]

Dude do you love her does she love you. man the things that matter are what matters. 5 bucks or 15 bucks a day is not hard to come by. friends that will smoke with you are not hard to come by. She is getting lit cause for some reason it makes her feel better. socially, mentally for some reason. I know i am sounding really liberal right now but yeah whatever. I am thinking socially right now. i would suggest if you feel like your body is a temple to keep it so. I would suggest if you love her and she loves you to keep her so. Let your lady find her way and find your way if that is what it is.
If it was crack or coke or meth i would say lock your door move do whatever you have to do to get away.
And dude though all the duty and honor and seeking success don't forget to enjoy your life and share your love with the people that matter and enjoy life.
Peace.

[dacoolist]

GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER! No really, you're fine.

Getting into confrontations is what it's all about with relationships. If you can't handle a simple fight like this.. You won't last past 5 years. But it seems you are making it happen. Keep up the good work!

[Celista]

shes just trying to sleep with your parents i think its time to move on

What thread did this originate from, anyway?

@OP: if weed isn't affecting her ability to function normally at work/school then I wouldn't worry about it. Weed is fairly benign...you can get a prescription for it now, and it's legal to smoke recreationally in Washington state and Colorado. As long as she doesn't need to pass any drug tests for work, not driving under the influence, and not selling it in one of the 48/50 states where pot is still illegal to sell outside of licensed dispensaries, then I'd let it go. Smoking pot 3x/day does seem like a lot, though...it sounds like she's using it as a coping mechanism, and there are better/cheaper means of handling life's problems than weed.

If she IS using it as a coping mechanism due to stress or w/e, I'd try to get her hooked on a healthier way to relieve tension, such as meditation and exercise, and/or encourage her to see a therapist to help her get over her means of self-medication.

[Immitis]

What thread did this originate from, anyway?

are you trying to say my relationship advice is not sound?

[Deleted]

and even though i allowed her to try.... what should i do? just allow her to do it?

You're not her parent, and she doesn't need your permission nor is it yours to give her, its her choice. The only time you get any sort of a say in what goes into her body, is if your child is inside of her. On the other hand, you DO have an entitlement to discuss with her how her smoking that much impacts your relationship with her and your lifestyle together. If you love her, then respect her and encourage her to talk with you instead of dictating permissions that you don't have, and honestly imo the most important part of talking about something, is the listening part. Give her a chance to talk about why she smokes that much and find out if thats the lifestyle she really wants, hear her out let her know your feelings about it without dictating at her and see what kind of middle ground you can find between you.

Also, weed and sex is always awesome. Fact

[Maxilian]

So what. If she can handle it why not. 3 joints per day is NOT extreme.

Isn't that a little too much? maybe 1 per day MAYBE, but IMO you tell her that she can continue but she can't do it as much as she used to do it (not 3 times a day, maybe 1 a day) with the time:

A) She will start consuming less and less

or

B) You will get used to it

[skitzin]

Shes sleeping with your weed smoking friend, cause its her source of supply if shes smoking that much.

I have to agree here.

[Maxilian]

Shes sleeping with your weed smoking friend, cause its her source of supply if shes smoking that much.

Wait a sec there, just because she smoke weed doesn't mean that she's already in the point where she sleep with someone for weed