I've never been in a physical fight, is there something wrong with me? [Male]

[Stir]

I'm sorry but I don't want this to turn into another gay vs the world thread.

It's more of a 'Shinra vs the world' thing, at this stage. Times, they are a'changin'.

[Pony Soldier]

I've never been in an actual fight either. I've been in push and shove kind of fights but nothing serious. I just keep to myself and mind my own business. Back in school I was the same way. I would have your typical asshole once in a while but who doesn't? Whenever I have those kind of people I just ignore them and move on, I don't care what their problem is. No reason to get into a fight with people like that it's just a waste of time. The only way I would ever get into a fight is if I were going to protect someone from being assaulted or if I was being assaulted myself. Not being in a fight your whole life isn't bad. Why would want to be a fight with someone? Staying out of fights just means you're being the smarter person.

Although you can't just be letting your friends protect you all the time. There's going to come a time where you're going to have to man up and stand up for yourself. Something I will always remember my parents telling me as a kid is that never let someone see that you are weak. You let someone walk over you, they're going to keep walking over you. If you put up some resistance, they'll at least see that you're not someone who will just bend over for them when they tell you to.

[Dellis0991]

Ain't nothing wrong with not fighting, but as for me I fought many (lost some too). Sometimes I fought very dirty ( a brick, a fist to the balls, or a 2x4 only when a mofo is bigger and more skilled at fisticuffs). I say the worst fight left me with swollen hands, shiner and a bloody mouth.

[Jackmoves]

Aim at the balls, always go for the balls

You are not gonna manage to get a hit in on the balls, its too easy to protect so unless you get the chance to lunch a preemptive suprise attack I would advice against it.

[Zoaric]

Homosexuality may not be a choice but acting on it is.

Heterosexuality isn't choice either, but as you said, acting on it is. It's just a silly
argument.

OT: Mooneye is right, mostly. In this day and age, one doesn't need to know how to
fight to defend oneself. Back in the day, a little tiff was settled in the ring or on the
field. Today, most disputes can be talked over. Though, there's always that one giant
who won't listen and tries to eat your face... but that's why we have self defense /
martial arts classes!

[Pwellzor]

There is a really good cracked.com article (I know it is humor but recently they've had professional expose' kind of things.) talking about how being a good fighter in today's age is more of a sign that something is wrong with you.

Its a minor form of sociopathy that is kind of being worked out of our gene pool. If humans were meant to fight each other all the time we'd be built differently physically and mentally. If you're a good fighter now and you aren't a professional with a purpose, you're probably just a shitty person that lacks a certain form of restraint. People with great defensive traits know how to avoid and prevent fights, not win them.

[Facerockker]

Guy never been in a fight before, must be something wrong with him.
Makes sense.

[fgzdon]

i try to avoid fights as much as i can, i only fight back when they come after me when i walk away as i dont have much of a choice
whats a fight supposed to prove?

[mizeri]

met my childhood best friend after a fight and most of my fights were when I was very young, as an adult I managed to stay out of fights other then the FFA MMA style shit I did when I was in the army, but I don't think being in a fight makes you less of a man in this modern age.

[Queen of Hamsters]

I'v been in quite a few fight's. It's not something i'm proud or ashamed of nor do i respect people more for being in fight's. After a certain age fighting just becomes pathetic and anyone over 20 bragging about it is a typical wannabe alpha male douche.

Also real fight's don't look anything like they do in the movies.

And don't I know it...sat down to an MMA fight expecting what I had seen in Warrior but it wasn't the same. I then felt it was another blonde moment of mine since Warrior is a movie with cool, determined shots and directions for the fighters...<.<

[willtron]

And don't I know it...sat down to an MMA fight expecting what I had seen in Warrior but it wasn't the same. I then felt it was another blonde moment of mine since Warrior is a movie with cool, determined shots and directions for the fighters...<.<

The other thing TV doesnt show you, is punching at full force hurts.

[Jackmoves]

I wouldn't. I may not have been in very many fights but my dad always taught me if I didn't have a choice but to fight, fight dirty.

Same lol, and my grandfather learned us grandkids to fight(to defend ourselves) about the same time we learned to walk,
Hasnt always worked out perfectly for me but that was down to a. Being outnumbered 3-1 and b. Being attacked out of nowhere and beaten in the forehead with a iron hook, I hit the ground like tree... that could have ended badly, cracked skull, had to get to the hospital, stiched that up, the scar isnt too big though, 0.5x2 cm, goes all blue when its cold though. My cousin( 90kg muscle , sponsored power lifter) wrecked that guy 2 sec later though, so fair is fair(he is a big teddybear normally).

"Only" times Ive gotten my ass handed to me though, could have been more.

[Ettan]

Heterosexuality isn't choice either, but as you said, acting on it is. It's just a silly
argument.

OT: Mooneye is right, mostly. In this day and age, one doesn't need to know how to
fight to defend oneself. Back in the day, a little tiff was settled in the ring or on the
field. Today, most disputes can be talked over. Though, there's always that one giant
who won't listen and tries to eat your face... but that's why we have self defense /
martial arts classes!

Martial arts classes pretty much only works as confidence builders. (That and providing fun exercise).
In reality it wont get you anywhere. With all the kids running off to martial arts training you would expect there to be a flood of news of prevented crimes. But there is not much of that is there? Because when an unarmed skinny bully victim stands up to a mugger he is exceedingly lucky not to get stabbed or shoot.

[Deleted]

I know this might be shocking for you to comprehend but social interactions outside of work hours tend to get complicated i.e. someone messes with your gf/wife are you going to run away or defend them?

Being able to defend yourself and also knowing how you'd fare in a fight or in my case get experience is an important life lesson.




Self-defence, protecting people you love, attracting opposite gender?

Where the fuck do you live that you feel it's necessary to know how to fight? I live in Belgium, and the only place I'd ever risk getting into a fight is if I'd be ganged up on and running would be my only chance of survival in that case.

There is a bigger chance I'l be hit with lighting then me having to defend my family for some odd reason. Either you watch too many movies or you should consider moving somewhere safer.

[Deleted]

I havent been in any fight since i was 16/17 that were actual fights. I worked as a bouncer for a year while in uni, and stopped/prevented fights, got hit a couple of times, and mostly just tackled people, held them down until other bouncers arrived and escorted them out. Thats not a fight, and I'm glad off it.

Fights are generally dumb, and while defending your womans honor or other arbitrary thing might seem important, I would never go into a fight unless I was absolutely certain the other person wouldn't cause permanent damage, or pull out a knife, bottle me, get a tire iron etc. If you're in america guns are a much larger concern than here. I understand the desire for competitive fighting within a set of rules, something I don't wanna do myself simply because I have too many piercings I would have to remove before fighting, and thats a hassle, and I don't have any need to.

One of my first nights working as a bouncer, I realized that there's two types of people who are bouncers: Guys who want a social job and doesnt mind preventing fights, and guys who really really like fighting and use it as an excuse. One of the second guys would always jump into fights and while he'd never initiate them, he'd never use the techniques we'd learn to try and calm situations down. One night, some guy starts punching him and he goes for him, and gets stabbed in the side. Now we wear knife vests, he was fine as it was only a tiny pocket knife. But that is the main reason that I would never under any circumstance go into a fight, while my girlfriend might be upset I didn't defend her honor, she would much rather prefer me not being dead or severely injured.

In short, if you start a fight in a bar or any where, there are far too many unknowns. Even more so if you are not the guy who starts the fight - the type of people who like fighting and initiate fight will most likely have a higher pain threshold as they're used to taking beatings, they'll possibly have brought something with them to help out, you have no idea how many friends they have nearby - you don't wanna start a fight with 1 guy you can probably beat and just be jumped by 10 of his mates. Or stabbed when he pulls a knife out, or bottled, or any of tons of other things you really cannot predict in any way. I don't know what you do for a living, but if you do anything that requires fine motor skills good luck if you break multiple bones in your hand, or any other thing that might damage the way you make a living.

Its the manly thing to do in a very childish, hollywoody macho-man way to do. Even if you are trained in a martial art and an expert at it, if 5 guys jump you at once from all angles, especially if you've had something to drink, you will probably get beaten. You might accidentally hurt someone who isn't involved in a fight (A friend of mine got knocked down and sent to the hospital, cause someone punched her friend and he ducked, and she was right behind him.)

Being a man has very little to do with being big and strong and tough. Even in the sense of protecting your family, fighting someone should be the very very last solution - if you do fight, and you somehow get beaten, which can happen no matter how much training you have due to unforeseen circumstances, the BEST thing that could possibly happen is that you beat another guy who will now probably beat you next time he sees you, and bring some kind of insurance that he'll win that time - in form of friends or weapon, and possibly leave you unable to protect your family. If talks shit or flirts with your wife/girlfriend in a pub/club, just tell them its your girlfriend (Or I tend to just kiss her and ignore the other guy) and if they start shit walk off. If someone gets angry at you spilling his drink, buy him a new one - its not gonna be much, and you, the other guy, and anyone around the pub will not be hurt. If someone insults your woman, just walk off - if they harass you, tell the bouncer. If you have a woman who is angry at you for not starting a fight, she clearly has 0 concern for your safety and just likes the idea of a man fighting for her honor, and wouldn't care if you get hurt.

Protecting someone has very little to do with being physically capable of fighting someone off, and far more to do with ensuring that she, everyone around you and yourself are safe for as long as possible, with no possible repercussions or unforeseen circumstances that might injure you. If you get killed in a fight to protect her, or even just knocked out, then she's unprotected. If you're embarassed cause some guy was a dick, you can laugh it off later and call him a dick. While I'm sure some women find the idea of men fighting for them romantic, any woman who wants you to injure yourself over a slight insult from some drunk idiot in a pub is really not worth it.

[willtron]

Where the fuck do you live that you feel it's necessary to know how to fight? I live in Belgium, and the only place I'd ever risk getting into a fight is if I'd be ganged up on and running would be my only chance of survival in that case.

There is a bigger chance I'l be hit with lighting then me having to defend my family for some odd reason. Either you watch too many movies or you should consider moving somewhere safer.

to be fair, you do live in Belgium.

[Shaani]

Such situations rarely occur. The fights I've seen it's mostly been several people versus one person. Knowing how to fight won't help you at all there.

Are you sure about that?



(Yes, of course I posted that with a good amount of sarcasm involved)

To the actual topic:

"The best Warriors do not use violence.
The best Generals do not destroy indiscriminately.
The best Tacticians avoid confrontation.
The best Leaders become servants of their people.

This is called the virtue of non-competition.
This is called the power to manage others.
This is called attaining harmony with the Dao"
- Laozi

I do not believe that you should worry that you never had a fight. Why should you?
One of your postings made it seem that you worry about it because women might be impressed about your fighting-skills? Some might, indeed. But even more will frown about those who fight and would rather convince their partner to get out of harms way, avoiding confrontation.
Furthermore; it is not that women are so much attracted to the fighting as such. They are attracted to men who are confident. That is a very huge difference. One does not need to fight in order to show confidence. In fact, you can show a lot of confidence while pursuing the way of non-violence.
If you never had a fight so far, than fighting is not in your nature. Don't act against it.

[Queen of Hamsters]

The other thing TV doesnt show you, is punching at full force hurts.

I don't know about that, seen a looot of pain in both movies and TV. <.<

[willtron]

I don't know about that, seen a looot of pain in both movies and TV. <.<

true, but more often than not they keep hitting with ridiculous force with a stupid sound effect over the top

[Zafire]

I've been in one serious fight from a kid in middle school that wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. My dad used to hit me on occasion, so one day when I was sixteen and already pissed off I fought back and got him pretty good (as he got me pretty good). I fled before it got too bad though.

I also took wrestling for two years when I was in school, which surprisingly was a very good self defense choice. Grappling is an art form.