Lost yourself along the way! Chat regarding Relationships

[nomad1206]

Hello there! I know that my problems are not interesting to you fellas, but I feel the need to talk about something that occured to me recently. My gf broke up with me after being together for almost a year. I will spare you the details. This is not the problem. The problem is that I feel lost. Somewhere along the way I forgot how to live without her. I spent every single day with her, so I grew to accustomed to seeing her, talking with her, and now, it feels really lonely. Don't get me wrong I still have my very good friends next to me, but it feels like something is missing. Something that made me the person I am. It's hard to explain in words, the short story is that I'm feeling very lonely and can't step out of it. Any advice? Have you gone through such a phase? Thanks for taking the time to read this by the way!

[Al Gorefiend]

Hello there! I know that my problems are not interesting to you fellas, but I feel the need to talk about something that occured to me recently. My gf broke up with me after being together for almost a year. I will spare you the details. This is not the problem. The problem is that I feel lost. Somewhere along the way I forgot how to live without her. I spent every single day with her, so I grew to accustomed to seeing her, talking with her, and now, it feels really lonely. Don't get me wrong I still have my very good friends next to me, but it feels like something is missing. Something that made me the person I am. It's hard to explain in words, the short story is that I'm feeling very lonely and can't step out of it. Any advice? Have you gone through such a phase? Thanks for taking the time to read this by the way!

Live like you're 15 again. Go hang out with friends, act stupid, travel to another city. When we get into relationships, we lose track of who we are. Red and Blue combine to make purple, but if you stay purple you'll only combine into brown. Get your Blue back, rediscover who you are, define your wants and goals. You're a free man again, like it or not.

[mythelash]

It's temporary, trust me. The best way to get through this is to do something. Stop looking for meaning! Just create it!

[Shieldi]

Humbugged i love you!

OP i know this feeling it's quite difficult to readjust to being single again rather than being half of a couple. The only thing I know how to do in this situation is try to keep yourself busy with something you enjoy doing, the more mental energy you spend elsewhere, the less you have to spend feeling bad

hope you start feeling better ^-^

[Nahuun]

It is natural to adapt. When sudden change happens, it tend to shock us mentally. It will pass and fade with time. I was in a relationship for nearly 5 years. I ended it because it was going no where. She had no dreams for herself and I wanted more from life. I was not used to not having her but I got into my own habits in 2 months time.

[Deleted]

Yah, give it time. I've been in 4 serious relationships, and only my 3rd really shook me afterward. It's really quite simple though, you just need to be patient. You'll get over it.

[Sj]

I hate to sound cliché, but time heals all wounds. The thing about serious relationships (I ended a 7-year relationship around the end of the year) is you grow as a person and as a couple at the same time. You have to find who you are but not lose track of how you grew as a person. Rediscover the things you like, try something new, find your strength. You're in there somewhere, just gotta do some digging.

(...) Red and Blue combine to make purple, but if you stay purple you'll only combine into brown. Get your Blue back, (...)

I absolutely love this metaphor.

Same. Very good metaphor.