I'm 21 and want to have sex with a 42 year old.

[Seegtease]

No. Genuine intent exists whether or not there is an opportunity for action to be taken. The actual act of cheating just makes the unknowable knowable.

Oddly enough I agree with this point. But I still hold that if aiding in a crime is a crime, then aiding in immorality is also immoral.

[Triptych]

Just show up at her door with your junk wrapped in a waffle taco. Sink your meat into any adult that answers the door.

You should get her pregnant as soon as possible. Adopt her kids. Move into her trailer. Get into a knife and fire extinguisher fight with her boyfriend. Make sure I can watch it on Cops.

Wish there were more posts like these ones from Skamm in the thread, instead of all the preaching and sermons.

[Rabian]

One of the girls in my teaching program is 21 and dating a guy who is 44 and they are quite happy together. Age is not an issue unless you allow it to be :P as for her bf...is he the father of her kids?

[Airwaves]

lucky op lol

[OzoAndIndi]

You're 21... the only thing about that is it makes her some 'old' cougar.

I think the part you need to be questioning is the "boyfriend and 2 kids" part.



I know it's probably rarely within a 21-year-old's interest to consider someone's children in a situation like this, but seriously... They're already dealing with a new man besides their father being in their mother's life (if he isn't the father), and if he isn't the first boyfriend she's brought around then they've dealt with guys coming and going and possibly continued broken attachments if they came to know any well enough. Adding a so-called "f*** buddy" to the mix does nothing for the stabilization in that family if they'd come to know you're in the picture at all, esp when to their understanding their mother has a boyfriend she's supposed to be seeing and teaching by example how people are supposed to, hopefully, have healthy relationships. Even if they are clueless to the kind of involvement a third party (you) would be having, kids are not as cluelss as people like to think they are, they will probably pick up on the fact that something is up between you and the mother behind the boyfriend's back.

[obdigore]

So have a devils threesome with her and her boyfriend.

Don't invite the kids (Unless they are legal).

Problem solved.

[Deleted]

just because she is friendly with you, does not mean she automatically wants you inside of her.....

[Deleted]

if its not you it will be some1 else so doesnt matter if she got a bf, its on her to fk that up so np

[Goondicker]

Age is not any issue here.

This issue is that she has a boyfriend. This boyfriend knows she has kids and is still seeing her.

Don't be a homewrecker (or a dbag). You'd likely never talk on vent again, and there's a TON more that could go wrong than right. The absolute best case scenario is one night of fun. Just get a hooker.

Plus it's not worth getting killed if the other guy is insane.

[MrSerious]

that's a bit of an age difference there.... what's the catch? she rich? you ugly?

[Cosmic Janitor]

just because she is friendly with you, does not mean she automatically wants you inside of her.....

This. Is she even interested in you? You have to realize women have the bad habit of being really friendly with guys, despite not wanting anything from them now and/or ever. Then there is the kids issue, how old are they? Are they adults? Is the other guy the father? Do they have issues? Is she unhappy with her current situation? Too many variables to give you any decent advice, without knowing the whole story.

Just get a hooker.

Depends on what kind of sex you are after. There are things hookers won't do and stuff you shouldn't do with a hooker... and I'm not talking about the crazy stuff here.

[Hyve]

Nothing wrong with a 21 year old sleeping with a 42 year old, but ...

Where are you getting this from? You said yourself you've never flirted, and she has a boyfriend and two kids. Sounds almost like you alone are thinking of this, she probably doesn't see you that way at all.

[Jibjabb]

I dont get it

Is she DTF or what? You say you arent friend zoned but unless you know shes willing to give u some, then you are pretty much friend zoned. The fact she has a bf and kids (perhaps with that bf) I would say significantly lowers your odds. Honestly though, there is nothing wrong with dating a woman that old. I mean who really cares, if you want her then go for it. You will never know unless you put it out there, so dont waste time thinking of what might happen if I try to make a move, just make it and let the chips fall where they may

The only thing "wrong" in this situation would be going for a woman you know isnt available, not the age

[Ron Burgundy]

you are going to have sex with her and you will like it

[RapBreon]

Threads like this leave me quite unsurprised that society has the problems it has nowadays. Employ a little empathy and put yourself in the position of this woman's boyfriend; who would probably not be fine at all with the idea of the woman whom he might love, going off and having flings with people she meets over a game. Whether or not it's 'meaningless sex', i'm quite certain that you would detest the idea of the woman whom you might one day love, having sex with other guys behind your back.

As someone who's been cheated on, to the point where I no longer even consider relationships to even be a possibility/aspiration in life, I can only advise you not to do it; if not for your own sake, then perhaps for that of the children/etc who are also in question.

I find myself in agreement with you, though my perspective would a bit different from yours.

Firstly, to those people who boil it down to; 'he's not cheating, she is, so he's not guilty of anything' concern me greatly. Yes, logically, he's not guilty of cheating, but he's certainly guilty of something. In this situation, in which there are children and a partner present; he's guilty of willfully engaging in a set of actions that will almost undoubtedly have negative repercussions for his 'best friend', her children and the partner. Yes, she is also guilty (if it gets to this stage), but you still knew the consequences and engaged anyway.

These egocentric 'I only care about the impact it has on me' responses are more concerning however. When you make a choice to do something and you consider the consequences it can have on more than just yourself. If you don't; you are either very egocentric coupled with large missing quantities of empathy (which I'm sure some people enjoy and have no problem with) or something is inhibiting your reasoning skills. Which to be honest at the age of 21 I can see where the OP is coming from, especially considering his lack of experience, which I'm sure causes stress for him. It's somewhat expected from him; what concerns me more is the advice being given by people who are much more experienced and consider reckless uninformed pandemonium to be 'good' advice.

Consider this; you are willing to cause undue stress on your 'best friend' and her children just for a fuck. What does this say about you?



Secondly, as a child I endured two breaks up to cheating and my partner endured one. Not only have I seen and experienced the damage first-hand, but I have seen the trickle down effect it can have into someone's adulthood. The potential for damage is astronomical, you are potentially stunting these children's mental growth. If you wanna bang this woman, you need information. You need to minimize the risks and mitigate the potential damage. This way, you haven't had a hand in ruining other people's lives and you still get the mystical vagina you have been seeking.

Find out how long she's been with her partner, if he treats her and the children right. You need to find out how much he interacts with the children and how important he is to them, or if he's just one of many on a long-list (in which case the damage is probably already done). How old are the children? Are they attached? But if this guy has been in the picture for a decent amount of time and has a good rapport with those children, assisting the destruction of a functioning family is one of the greatest disservices you could do to a child, short of directly abusing them (I am serious). Not to mention that the partner is also affected (as Alenarien points out). Though the damage caused to an adult is certainly less than the damage that can be caused to children.

If he's just like there in the side-lines banging her and the children barely acknowledge him or interact with him or are almost adults. Then it really only comes down to how much you value the feelings of the partner. It would still make you an ass, but a less devious ass who didn't have a hand in ruining the lives of children.

Or you could like others have mentioned, stop being so clingy and develop a healthy relationship with someone else. Which would be the your best bet and the best advice. This stopped being about 'a fuck' the moment you mentioned she had children and a partner. This is all premised on the fact she's actually mutually interested though, which I doubt.

[THE Bigzoman]

Say ah yay yay yay yay its because of my age girl!

[Yvaelle]

The homewrecker is the person with a home who decided to wreck it.

True, but pressuring someone to wreck their home is still a dick move (but doesn't make you a homewrecker).

[Deleted]

Her age isn't the problem, her boyfriend and 2 kids are.

Basically, this.

[Ammeg]

It would not be wrong for a 21 year old to date a 42 year old.

It would be wrong for a 21 year old to engage in intimacy with a 42 year old when she has a boyfriend.

^

This. I really don't understand why the dating of a 42yr old makes you think "oh no I can't do that." and yet sleeping with her when she has a boyfriend is totally fine... not to mention her children...

I think RapBreon @ post number 252 has pretty much stated all that needs to be said.

You have to realize women have the bad habit of being really friendly with guys, despite not wanting anything from them now and/or ever.

^ This right here, is why some people say men and women can't be friends. I wouldn't call being 'really' friendly a "bad habit". However, men 'expecting' more than just a friendship from someone on the basis of how friendly they are.... well that is a very bad thing. (Generalising here because that was what happened to all women :P)

[Deleted]

Clearly this woman is trying to sleep with your parents. Beware!