First time not being able to answer myself (Relationship)

[Progressiv]

So this my first time posting something about life threat on mmo champion and the reason i'm posting this in here is because i want to see if im thinking right.

It's been 4 years and half that i'm with my girlfriend and it's really rough time between us right now. I'm wondering if both of us are happy with eachother anymore and i'll explain this in few lines:
The past 3 years we were having great relationship. We got an appartment then we both focused really hard on our job and everything was great except for one thing : Sex
I know that its happening to alot of couples and i think i know where it comes from...

Me: I'm someone who is enjoying life as it maximum and im working really hard in life, im in shape been going to the gym for the last 2 years / 5 times per week. The things that makes me happy in life are : gym and gaming and i know whats my goals in life. I love asking questions to myself in the hard moments of life and i always answer myself and i know who i am. I love reading and making philosophies, watching series, watching animes etc. I love cleaning up because i hate when its dirty. I'm 22 btw and im working as an ebenister but im planning to go back to study for a year because i got 2 hernias (back problems) I have alot of good friends i can count on around me.

Her: She is working more harder than me because her job requires so much time she is always back at home at around 10 p.m. She doesnt take the time to eat well and she has a disorganised way to live. She is 110% dedicated to her job which is good too! Alot of people are workholic. She used to be so sweet but now i feel like she needs to take time for her because she never in her life got a time being single. In the ''sex times'' its always ''not comfortable for her'' (this is how i feel it) and she's always saying sorry for not knowing herself. She only has 1 friend because his ex's friends was her friends too

When she ask me to change something i have the force to work on my Cons because everyday im trying to be better and this is the way i see life.
And..i really hate cleaning her mess in the apartment she is really messy...
So i think the problem is : We both took our own way for more than a year and i dont feel like it's going to last anymore....pretty soon.
I feel like i love her but i feel i would be more happy by going on my own way and i feel like she needs it too..we had alot of conversation over and over (hard time conversation) but we never took the right decision and i feel like i need to sit once and for all with her and take the right one.
But my only comfort zone in life is the fact that im stable with someone else with my home and stuff and im scared to not have that anymore.

So here it is, thanks to everyone who is going to read this and maybe answer the question i can't answer by myself.

Rock-

[Deleted]

All couples go trough this, the 4 year acke. Sex is always a discussion because we are men, and they are not. Unless ur lucky enough to hook a nymfo, ur always gonna want more than she does. Deal with it (anyway you please or can)

She only has 1 friend because his ex's friends

Someone is not telling the full truth huehue.

In the ''sex times'' its always ''not comfortable for her'' (this is how i feel it) and she's always saying sorry for not knowing herself

This sounds like ur shit in bed. Which would partially explain his-her lack of lust.

You both are too focused on urself. Go take a 3 week holiday together and chillax together, see how that goes. If it doesnt, ur relationship is doomed. If it turns out to be nice and sweet and full of sex, its a sign ur current lifestyles are conflicting with ur love life and both need to focus more on eachother than ur work.

[Progressiv]

All couples go trough this, the 4 year acke. Sex is always a discussion because we are men, and they are not. Unless ur lucky enough to hook a nymfo, ur always gonna want more than she does. Deal with it (anyway you please or can)



Someone is not telling the full truth huehue.



This sounds like ur shit in bed. Which would partially explain his-her lack of lust.

You both are too focused on urself. Go take a 3 week holiday together and chillax together, see how that goes. If it doesnt, ur relationship is doomed. If it turns out to be nice and sweet and full of sex, its a sign ur current lifestyles are conflicting with ur love life and both need to focus more on eachother than ur work.

I approve with the conclusion
1- Im telling the truth that she sees 1 friend every 2 weeks (approx)
2- Everyone has a different ways in bed but ok i think its more related that she never stoped having new guy over and over without masturbating and learning what she likes when her sexologue told her to go on porn sites to masturbate she said : oh yeah maybe i could try this i never took the time to do it

[Seirith]

Honestly, only you can answer the question because no one here knows you, her or your life together. Every couple goes through rough periods, I don't think you could find a single couple that has been together for years that can tell you they have never been through a hard time. I am very happily married, going on 8 years, together 15 and I am only 30.We have had some hard times but we got through them as a couple by talking, seeing what we both wanted and working together to achieve it.

[Reeve]

This sounds like ur shit in bed. Which would partially explain his-her lack of lust.

Not really a helpful comment. If he is shit in bed, you're just making him feel more insecure about it, which just makes him worse in bed. If he's not, he probably shouldn't be worrying about whether or not he's good. Saying he's shit isn't going to make him better and it might make him worse.

[Wildtree]

All couples go trough this, the 4 year acke. Sex is always a discussion because we are men, and they are not. Unless ur lucky enough to hook a nymfo, ur always gonna want more than she does.

Buddy, you have no idea....... Really. I mean it.
I was UNlucky enough to have that pleasure once. It lasted 6 month. It was a fucking nightmare. Literally speaking.
In the beginning, it started out like a dream come true. There's that chick, that needs a ride home from a party, cause she forgot something. Cool, you give her a ride, and there she bangs you right in her living room on the carpet. Awesome!
Few month fast forward... The fun ends when your dick is hurting to the point that you are already bleeding from hours of throbbing, and you get to hear
"when are you going to start and fuck my brains out?"
No..... The last thing you want is a nymphomaniac..


OT:
OP is in a bad spot atm.
Both are way to involved with themselves, instead of with them being together.. I think both have forgotten that they have a relationship.
They both need to be willing to make room for some WE time. That has to be more often, otherwise sex becomes orchestrated, and that's always a turn off. One, or at some point both feel pressured into it. Oh look, Saturday, 4pm, time to fuck.... Unromantic, scripted, and boring.

[SocialJusticeWarrior]

Her: She is working more harder than me because her job requires so much time she is always back at home at around 10 p.m. She doesnt take the time to eat well and she has a disorganised way to live. She is 110% dedicated to her job which is good too! Alot of people are workholic. She used to be so sweet but now i feel like she needs to take time for her because she never in her life got a time being single. In the ''sex times'' its always ''not comfortable for her'' (this is how i feel it) and she's always saying sorry for not knowing herself. She only has 1 friend because his ex's friends was her friends too

When she ask me to change something i have the force to work on my Cons because everyday im trying to be better and this is the way i see life.
And..i really hate cleaning her mess in the apartment she is really messy...
So i think the problem is : We both took our own way for more than a year and i dont feel like it's going to last anymore....pretty soon.
I feel like i love her but i feel i would be more happy by going on my own way and i feel like she needs it too..we had alot of conversation over and over (hard time conversation) but we never took the right decision and i feel like i need to sit once and for all with her and take the right one.
But my only comfort zone in life is the fact that im stable with someone else with my home and stuff and im scared to not have that anymore.

So here it is, thanks to everyone who is going to read this and maybe answer the question i can't answer by myself.

Rock-

She used to be sweet? Sex is shit? Break away from that bitch now. When a girl wants to fuck, she'll crawl under barbed wire through the mud and shatter the window, nothing will stop her, not even a stupid imaginary 'headache'. That one woman who ditched her husband and family to get railed by Occupy Wall Street flunkies comes to mind. Sounds like you've lost your step, whatever attracted her to you in the first place, you've tarnished, likely through appeasement and supplicating behavior that makes a woman as wet as a dead tree.

For sex, I hope you never ask for permission. Put her in doggy, pull her hair and slap her ass (but not too low or it will sting them). Don't be timid either. Women love barbaric fucking. Later on you can move to light choking. Doggy doesn't do much for me feeling wise, but it makes my girl feel super feminine which makes her more horny.

Also for your future girl, don't move into an apartment with her, don't do any moving in until you're married (if you're into that shit). It makes them complacent, attitudinal and makes them think it's safe to let their figure go to shit. You sound detached enough already, take a deep breath and cut the dead weight. Life is tough enough, you don't need this one making it any tougher. You're on the ascent, trying to improve yourself, and her shit attitude is pulling you down.

Get a woman more complementary to your lifestyle. It is frightening to consider moving onto a new one, especially if you haven't had many, but aim to kill that mindset. Comfort is your enemy. Neediness for fear of being unable to get anything better or at least the same again will fuck you up.

Good luck.