What kind of spider is this...?

[Lightwysh]

It means we have no deadly spiders, if our most dangerous Spider is as bad as a wasp sting then I think thats a win for us.

Well at least you have that going for you.

[Laraven]

I fairly certain that is not a false widow. It looks a lot more like a Triangulate cobweb spider (or Steatoda Triangulosa if you prefer). It matches the natural range which includes most of the USA.

Here are the image search results from Google for the same spider:

https://www.google.com/search?q=Tria...w=1920&bih=955

I agree. Not a false widow but one of these guys.