Saying single men have no logic behind dating single moms makes me a terrible person.

[THE Bigzoman]

According to Facebook today I am.

A good friend of mine mentioned it in a facebook post that he would consider dating a single mother. I told him it was a terrible idea and as a single man, there is no logic behind such an endeavor. The outcry I got was pretty bad. Got called a woman hater and judgmental.

[Deleted]

Why is it a bad idea?

[Rukentuts]

According to Facebook today I am.

A good friend of mine mentioned it in a facebook post that he would consider dating a single mother. I told him it was a terrible idea and as a single man, there is no logic behind such an endeavor. The outcry I got was pretty bad. Got called a woman hater and judgmental.

Depends on a number of factors for me to agree with you, age being a dominant one; and not necessarily the female's age.

[LilSaihah]

well yeah you don't say those things in public on facebook, that's what private messages are for

[Blueobelisk]

I think you're at fault Elfman. I don't see the big deal. Sure it's a little bit of an obstacle but everyone has baggage.

[Tragedia]

I agree single women will have a better time dating married men.

[THE Bigzoman]

"That person is worth pursuing a relationship with and I don't mind potentially being a parent to her child."


So I have no idea what you're talking about when you say there's no logic behind the decision. Just because you don't want to date a single mother doesn't mean you need to treat them like lepers and demand they be quarantined.

I don't make them to be lepers. I just think it's a terrible idea.

Unless a woman is widowed or any other big circumstance, she bore a child to a man who isn't there and family dysfunction resulted.

Either she's a terrible judge of character, or she herself is a bad character.

[Rukentuts]

I think you're at fault Elfman. I don't see the big deal. Sure it's a little bit of an obstacle but everyone has baggage.

I wouldn't call it "a little bit" of an obstacle, it's a huge one. First, you need to be mature enough to be a parent, because that's what you're gonna be. Secondly, you need to mesh with the kid at least as well as you mesh with the parent. It is a package deal, and the parent will pick the kid over you any day of the week. Thirdly, depending on the plethora of factors, it can say a bit about that person. However if those factors are different, it could say nothing.

[Crissi]

I think you're at fault Elfman. I don't see the big deal. Sure it's a little bit of an obstacle but everyone has baggage.

If one is not ready to have or take care of kids, one should not date a single parent. Its not shallow, considering most kids probably want a parent / step parent that'll actually care for them sincerely.

[LilSaihah]

Either she's a terrible judge of character, or she herself is a bad character.

She's also going to have her time split between you and the kid (whereas dating an identical single woman wouldn't have that problem) and you're going to be spending more money on her (because, again, she has to spend her money on her kid).

[THE Bigzoman]

Depends on a number of factors for me to agree with you, age being a dominant one; and not necessarily the female's age.

Elaborate.

[oplawlz]

I don't make them to be lepers. I just think it's a terrible idea.

Unless a woman is widowed or any other big circumstance, she bore a child to a man who isn't there and family dysfunction resulted.

Either she's a terrible judge of character, or she herself is a bad character.

Man, that's a lot of terrible assumptions.

[THE Bigzoman]

She's also going to have her time split between you and the kid (whereas dating an identical single woman wouldn't have that problem) and you're going to be spending more money on her (because, again, she has to spend her money on her kid).

We're citing the same thing.

- - - Updated - - -

The falsest of dichotomies. For someone who claimed the other side has no logic, you sure aren't bringing much to the table.

So starting a family and bearing a child requires neither character nor character judgement?

[Rukentuts]

Elaborate.

A 20 y/o with a kid versus a 40 y/o with a kid. I immediately think two different things.

And depending on the age of the gentleman caller, it can correlate to whether or not being a parent is in his best interest.

[Shelly]

I don't make them to be lepers. I just think it's a terrible idea.

Unless a woman is widowed or any other big circumstance, she bore a child to a man who isn't there and family dysfunction resulted.

Either she's a terrible judge of character, or she herself is a bad character.

As a man with a currently knocked up ex-girlfriend.

Fuck you sir.

Right in the eye.

Just because two people don't think they'd make a good couple doesn't mean that they are dysfunctional or that their child is going to be raised in a dysfunctional environment or have issues.

Far far worse for a child would be having both parents and having to deal with them resenting each other and viewing the kid as "the reason" that they can't get out of a bad situation.

[shadowfyre27]

I have to disagree with you that the single mother is either a terrible judge of character or a bad character herself. There are sooooo many cases where the guy hides who who truly is and once the woman finds out the true character they leave the guy. To say that they are a terrible judge of character or a bad character herself because they didn't see how bad a guy is because he was hiding it is to be quite ignorant yourself imo.

[prwraith]

I don't take single mothers either. Chances are she's got a whole lot of issues that I want no part of. And I'm never going to love someone elses kid like i'd love my own.

So it's just a bad idea.

[THE Bigzoman]

A 20 y/o with a kid versus a 40 y/o with a kid. I immediately think two different things.

And depending on the age of the gentleman caller, it can correlate to whether or not being a parent is in his best interest.

Fair enough.Bring it in the younger context then.

[Dendrek]

I don't make them to be lepers. I just think it's a terrible idea.

Unless a woman is widowed or any other big circumstance, she bore a child to a man who isn't there and family dysfunction resulted.

Either she's a terrible judge of character, or she herself is a bad character.

Either you're terribly judgmental or spectacularly sexist.

Generalizations are fun.

[LilSaihah]

We're citing the same thing.

Yup, thought so.