Dating website profiles

[Deleted]

So, after a pretty sad breakup, I'm all lookin' for love and all that good stuff again. I tend to meet a lot of people through dating websites (the last few people I've dated have all come from OKCupid) but it seems to be really difficult to attract people who have similar interests and that kind of stuff.

So like... how many of you use / have used dating websites? Which ones have you had the most success with?
What kind of things do you look for in someones profile, and what would put you off if you saw it on someone's profile?
How much information about yourself is "too much" or "too little" and should it be like, more of a rambling stream of conciousness, or a facts based thing, like with your age, job, vital statistics etc

And like, WHAT MAKES A GOOD PROFILE PHOTO? Should it be something you've like, purposely made, to show you at your best, like a proper dating profile selfie, or one of those "Here's a photo of me that got taken sometime with friends!" or "here's me while I'm iceskating!" things?

Oh, and finally! Has anyone ever had any long term success with someone they've met on a dating website? Is anyone in a relationship with someone that started on a dating site that's lasted more than a couple of years?

[Darkis]

And like, WHAT MAKES A GOOD PROFILE PHOTO?

Oh, you'll get some answers to that one

[Dawon]

Have never used myself.. but have a few friends that did/do, sadly none have been successful.. the "record" is a 1.5 year long relationship with a break in the middle for one of my guy-friends....

Sorry to post these sad facts but hopefully it's just my friends that have been unsuccessful and not a general outcome from inet-based hookups.

[Deleted]

Have never used myself.. but have a few friends that did/do, sadly none have been successful.. the "record" is a 1.5 year long relationship with a break in the middle for one of my guy-friends....

Sorry to post these sad facts but hopefully it's just my friends that have been unsuccessful and not a general outcome from inet-based hookups.

This is sad : ( And totally unpromising : ( Why did they all fall to bits?

[-Psypher-]

Seriously, just be yourself. If you try to create a persona which you think will get you the kind of person you're looking for, you'll run into problems down the road. This goes for everything - content of your descriptions, answers to any questions on the site, and photographs. Candid photographs (feel free to choose the ones you look best in, obviously) show true emotion and personality. Unless you're a professional model, that kind of thing is very very hard to pose for.

You want to go for the most genuine, true-to-self profile you can. Relationships are hard enough, you don't want to make them harder by misrepresenting yourself from the start. In my younger years, I strove to be that person that everyone else wanted me to be (including my ex-wife). After my divorce, I realized that I was beholden to no one but myself, both in terms of who I am and what I wanted out of a relationship. It was with this attitude I struck gold with online dating. Be genuine and uncompromising on important issues (religion, politics, etc.).

Source: I had a few flash-in-the-pan relationships, including a failed marriage, by trying to mold myself to someone else's standard. Got divorced, said "fuck it," and let it all hang out. Now I've been with the perfect woman for more than five years, married for four, with kids. We met on eHarmony.

[Deleted]

have you considered grindr?

[Deleted]

have you considered grindr?

Grindr for gay dudes, and it's more of a hookup thing anyway, which I'm not interested in, sick to death of one night hookups at the moment.

[Deleted]

So, after a pretty sad breakup, I'm all lookin' for love and all that good stuff again. I tend to meet a lot of people through dating websites (the last few people I've dated have all come from OKCupid) but it seems to be really difficult to attract people who have similar interests and that kind of stuff.

So like... how many of you use / have used dating websites? Which ones have you had the most success with?
What kind of things do you look for in someones profile, and what would put you off if you saw it on someone's profile?
How much information about yourself is "too much" or "too little" and should it be like, more of a rambling stream of conciousness, or a facts based thing, like with your age, job, vital statistics etc

And like, WHAT MAKES A GOOD PROFILE PHOTO? Should it be something you've like, purposely made, to show you at your best, like a proper dating profile selfie, or one of those "Here's a photo of me that got taken sometime with friends!" or "here's me while I'm iceskating!" things?

Oh, and finally! Has anyone ever had any long term success with someone they've met on a dating website? Is anyone in a relationship with someone that started on a dating site that's lasted more than a couple of years?

Haven't used one, but if I would I'd probably be more interested in a girl who shows a picture just being herself. Being that hanging out with friends, doing her hobby or even a simple selfie. I personally wouldn't trust a girl who poses in her picture like shes doing a photoshoot, then again that just me. Different guys/girls like different things.

I'm guess it all comes down to luck and some trial/error in the dating sense. It could be the success rate could be the same as "irl" if you put in the same amount of time you put in online dating.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh, you'll get some answers to that one

Clearly standing half naked on a beach or a setting where you look rich is the perfect awnser. :P

[Merite]

Almost every one of my friends are on Coffee Meets Bagel right now, it's alright. Free, with some gamification / freemium model that's a bit weird. It uses social connections and backing more than anything else. Not sure if I like it really, definitely a bit interesting. On my second week of it, only just today got a bagel I'd consider liking; she hasn't liked me back. You get a bagel a day, hit like, pass, give (to a friend), and they have to like as well - then you get connected via SMS or something.

I tend to be myself, probably too honest, and never really settle. If I show up and a lady's photo didn't depict her or she left something big out, or clearly overhyped something, it's never gone well. Personally I usually go on dates based on education, job, and one or two things standing out in the likes / dislikes, wrapped in a minimal appearance threshold. I'd prefer someone listing all their main passions, no matter how lame they are; if I can't find something that I like in that list, pass.

Find a photo that depicts you well, if you can have quite a few, find some that depict you in a passion. Just keep it real; an amazingly gorgeous photo may attract the wrong people and push away the right people (I don't have this problem myself).

[Deleted]

Here in Sweden we have tons of dating/community sites. Tried em both a few years ago and met my ex one of the sites, was a complete waste of two years since it showed in the end of it that she had ben unfaithful a few times without even saying anything. Most girls I met also were nothing but serious on the sites even though they were labeled dating sites
Although I've heard some sunshine stories also about people finding their longtime partners on dating sites I'm still somewhat optimistic about them.

Some tips though are to be honest about yourself and your intentions on the profile. Also don't write a big list of how your "dream partner" should be because I've seen some do it and it makes me don't want to write to them anyways.

[Deleted]

Here in Sweden we have tons of dating/community sites. Tried em both a few years ago and met my ex one of the sites, was a complete waste of two years since it showed in the end of it that she had ben unfaithful a few times without even saying anything. Most girls I met also were nothing but serious on the sites even though they were labeled dating sites
Although I've heard some sunshine stories also about people finding their longtime partners on dating sites I'm still somewhat optimistic about them.

Some tips though are to be honest about yourself and your intentions on the profile. Also don't write a big list of how your "dream partner" should be because I've seen some do it and it makes me don't want to write to them anyways.

DD's, blonde, blue eyes, white teeth, is completely devoted to me like a nun to god.

Just kidding!

And yeah, i did use online dating sites, given up though; The ham planet to female ratio was astounding, sadly.

(Why the fuck would people from Finland, Portugal, and even Mexico message me anyhow?)

[Deleted]

DD's, blonde, blue eyes, white teeth, is completely devoted to me like a nun to god.

Just kidding!

And yeah, i did use online dating sites, given up though; The ham planet to female ratio was astounding, sadly.

(Why the fuck would people from Finland, Portugal, and even Mexico message me anyhow?)

The male/female ratio is really astounding on the dating sites yeah.
I checked yesterday on one of the swedish sites yesterday and only about 15-20 percent at most were girls/women.
No wonder so few girls/women write me back when I write to them when their mailboxes are full with mails from dull/horny guys.

[Yvaelle]

Close up of your face is best IMO - it's what everyone is looking for anyways. The worst would be a picture of you and your friends, with no index of who you are in the photo - then it's just russian roulette of who you might be talking to - it also means the little thumbnail on the search list will not display any meaningful information.

Stick to short details too IMO - nobody wants to read your 3000 word biography. Shared interests - like the ones you couldn't find in previous attempts - the weirder the better IMO.

[Deleted]

Close up of your face is best IMO - it's what everyone is looking for anyways. The worst would be a picture of you and your friends, with no index of who you are in the photo - then it's just russian roulette of who you might be talking to - it also means the little thumbnail on the search list will not display any meaningful information.

Stick to short details too IMO - nobody wants to read your 3000 word biography. Shared interests - like the ones you couldn't find in previous attempts - the weirder the better IMO.

That also. It's never or seldom interesting to talk to someone who's so full of themselves. Also typing out all or at least most of your interests/hobbies is a good thing.

[Sheamus]

I have used a dating site in the past but it required a subscription to message someone on it. Apparently I was getting a new message every day but I couldn't read them because I didn't subscribe, are all dating websites like this?

[vep]

... it seems to be really difficult to attract people who have similar interests and that kind of stuff.

You are looking in all the wrong places.
What are your interests? Is it rock climbing? Try a rock climbing gym. Is it ice skating? Try the place where people ice skate. Is it gaming? Try a place where people do gaming.
Don't expect to find a great relationship over the internet. It usually won't work and you don't want to pray for that lucky moment when it does work out.

- - - Updated - - -

This is sad : ( And totally unpromising : ( Why did they all fall to bits?

Because a relationship is based on friendship more than infatuation.

[Aitch]

And like, WHAT MAKES A GOOD PROFILE PHOTO? Should it be something you've like, purposely made, to show you at your best, like a proper dating profile selfie, or one of those "Here's a photo of me that got taken sometime with friends!"

It's super annoying when a girl puts a photo with like 3 different people in it without specifying which one she is.

Also, smiling is 20% more attractive.

[Ayarea]

Okcupid is alright, but there's ALOT of fake profiles on there. I've met some great people so far, which didn't result in a relationship so far though. They're great people, just not great for me (no sexual, emotional click etc - hard to explain, but I've had it with my previous boyfriends whom I met on forums or in WoW). I'm on and off on the site so not that serious. Also for profile pictures, just ones of yourself, not from friends etc .

[Deleted]

I've never used one personally, but know several people who have - some with relatively successful, ongoing relationships of a few years.

The #1 thing they all tell me they think is important is honesty, and up to date full body + face photographs. I've heard so many stories about them going to meet some guy/girl and it turns out his/her photos are from 5+ years ago and they look nothing like described/shown. If you're hiding things before the relationship even begins, then it's doomed.

They also say it's good if they're not all "vanity" shots - ie, selfie photos in full make-up with perfect lighting as though you're a model; most of them say they like seeing candid photos because it shows the "real person" (obviously though, pick ones that you still look good in/like), and photos of them with friends (which I assume you need the friend's permission for/blur their face out) to show they actually have a social life. In short, a good mix of photos rather than 10 carefully selected mirror-selfies.

Also keep things short and sweet; describe yourself, maybe a bit about what you do IRL, what you're looking for, and leave it at that. Some people describe their "ideal", but if you're not that bothered about looks aside from "are they in shape?" then it might just serve as a turn off to "non-ideals". Use a list form for your hobbies/likes rather than describing everything about them. No-one wants to read an essay to pick apart what you're into; save your life story for the dates.

[Deleted]

I was on one for a while, most guys seemed to just want to have a quick fuck. Didn't find anyone there and it was hard to make out serious people because of the amount of PMs you get.