Is anyone else like this? Would like some advice.

[select20]

This might be long just an fyi....

I'm 33 years old now, but back in high school I was the skinny kid. I weight 117 pounds at 5'8" when I graduated. I played soccer and basketball all through highshcool, but never really would hang out with the Jocks since they always thought they were better than everyone, and talking down to people all the time. As you know, the popular kids were always the ones that we "most likely to succeed" and all that crap.



I joined the Army as an Infantryman right after school. I wanted nothing to do with college at that time. I did really well in everything I did in the Army. Without going into detail, I got to go to a lot of schools you would normally only hear of in movies, or the history channel. I was deployed several times, etc. I was 117lbs when I joined, then by about 6 years later, I was weighing in around 175 do to working out all the time.



All this to say, I was always made fun of. Kind of quirky looking, not confident, etc. I had recently gone back to my home town after being gone several years and ran into one of the guys on the basketball team that had probably the biggest mouth. He always talked trash, very arrogant, etc. This guy was probably about 50 lbs over weight, had a few kids by different women, barely making ends meet. He asked, since I was in town, if I wanted him to gather up a few of the guys that lived close and get us all together one night. I said sure, why not.


We met up at a local place, They all looked about the same, as the first guy. Over weight, dead end jobs, etc. Some of the "popular" girls from back then came around too, same story, kids with no daddies, over weight, etc. Remember, all these people were the ones that were always arrogant, and all that mess. We had a good time I guess, reminiscing. That was probably 3 years ago.


Here is where my title and question comes in. Since that night, I keep getting an urge to go back home and just tell all those people off. Stuff like "you all used to think you were so good and better than everyone and now look at you." Of course that is cliche, but something a long those lines. Logically, I keep telling myself that doing something like that is immature, arrogant in it's own right, and just not necessary. But it's been several years and I still can't shake it. I'm the one that did something with my life, they wasted theirs.



Now don't think I look down on people that haven't had the same opportunities as me or made some mistakes. Much the opposite so please dont' take this the wrong way. I only feel like this towards those people I grew up with and I can't figure out why. Why do I feel the need to go tell them off? Again, I know ligcally it's stupid, but I can't shake it.


Anyone else experience something like this?

[theostrichsays]

As a former Infantryman from a small town, who didn't suffer from being small or quirky looking or anything, I still felt at times the desire, to laugh and tell people off, who were Grade-A douchebags.

Most the guys I served with though, expressed similar sentiments about going home and everyone looking tired, haggard and just burned out. How we were so happy to have gotten out and seen the world. I don't have any professional opinion as a armchair therapist or anything, but like I said many of us had the same sentiments for different reasons.
But people treated you like crap, now your doing better then them, and want to rub it in their face. I would say that is normal, maybe not flattering of yourself, but somewhat normal.

[Marrilaife]

They bullied you, they laughed at you, no wonder you feel now revenge is sweet and you showed them all, you just want to be 100% sure they got the message. I'd say a lot of people who were bullied in their teen years feel that way, however if you really go tell them "hahaha suckers!" in one way or another it possibly will be underwhelming and not as satisfactory as you imagine.

Also if you "keep telling yourself this is immature" you might regret doing it afterwards and feel ashamed that you stepped down to their level.

[Stonecloak]

I wouldn't, because all that happened was a swap of circumstances and then you would be that guy you complained about. Its an ego thing and you don't have to feed it. Also success is very subjective.

[Terahertz]

I'm pretty sure many people feel this way, but like previously mentioned; you'd only be dropping down to their level. Also not to mention some of those people might regret bullying you greatly, so by you trying to get back at them you'll only just be showing how immature you are (not saying you're immature, just that if you were to act upon your urges you'd be the immature one).

[Krommm]

Yeah, I have many relatives stuck in a dead end job that believe they are the best thing to grace the universe. There's also some younger ones that are on the wrong track, but their parents believe they are going to become extremely successful. (99% chance they are not, so I just laugh to myself that they will get nowhere.)

Anyways, yeah no one cares if you were some star athlete or straight A student if a) you were a giant douche and also likely b) you accomplished nothing. Besides, the look in their drained eyes when they become older says it all even if they attempt to cling to some notion of supremacy.

@OP: Maybe it is childish, but do what you want. You know the consequences and it might not even be fulfilling getting "revenge".

[Feel The Power]

I'd say it's a pretty normal feeling to have, but it'd be stupid to follow through with. You're a grown man now, you accomplished things, and these people mean nothing to your life now besides some memories...telling them off won't accomplish a single thing, and it'd probably end up leading to some fights. You are the better person, and for you to know it to be true is more than enough...don't think those people don't realize what a shithole their lives have become and that their best years were back when they were 17 throwing a goddamn ball around. They knew when you met up with them what their lives were compared to yours, and you telling them off will not make them admit you are better than them. They already knew it though in the back of their heads. Let it slide man.

[Blockygame]

Your revenge is their life now, I wouldn't bother going at them that way, enjoy it. They most probably ended up that way due to continuing to treat people the same way they did while they were still at school and paid for it by being ignored by those that could have provided great opportunities. That being said though, due to your military background (I was NZ Navy) you will tend to notice more about civilians than most, including physical appearance (I know I did) and shared traits of always being exhausted and bogged down.

[Realtalk]

Congratulations!! You've just completed the first step in becoming a cop in your home town.

[Endus]

You have to ask yourself a fairly simple question;

Are you better than they are, as a person, or are you just hoping you can reach their level and be their peers?

Because lording it over them as they once lorded it over you is you establishing yourself as their peer. If you honestly thought you were beneath them, and still are, that could be considered a "success", but I don't get that impression from you. If you think they were small-minded asshats who were lashing out, and that you've proven yourself to be the better man, then you don't have any reason to demean yourself by stooping to their level. Time has already borne you out. You're successful, they aren't. You've won.

Stooping down to rub their nose in it just means you're going to get their stink on your fingers. You're better off just forgetting about them. Because that's the best vengeance. So that when you meet at your 20th high school reunion, and they come up to you and say "hey, select20, you've come a long way", you don't say "yeah, I've done everything I can to define myself using you as the guidepost of my life". You say "I'm sorry, do I know you?" That will eat them alive. Knowing that they abused you, and you've surpassed them, and you don't even remember the time when they were on top.

[Cyberowl]

If you really want an answer go seek a psychologist, he could tell you I'm sure. That is what psychologist are there for, their purpose is not only to lock away crazies. It probably has to do something with suppressing the mockery you have received by them and wanting revenge, but that is only a wild guess! Kuddos to you for not rubbing it into their faces immediately, they probably regret it too!

[Deleted]

Just because you imagine you've won at life does not actually make it true. Case in point you're posting about how awesome your life is compared to theirs (have they confirmed this?) on a vidya game website...

Also why do you care?

[BananaHandsB]

If you truly are a better person than them, you won't stoop to their level and act the way they did to u in high school. Rise above, be the better man, if you truly are you will find solace in that. Clearly you found something wrong with the way they treated you, how could it be right to act the same way?

[Deleted]

Anyone else experience something like this?

I was bullied when I was young, from being a kid to my early teens, and while I would absolutely rip any of those assholes to shreds if I had to today - or at the very least try - as opposed to just letting them get away with it, I have to say I have no need to seek them out to point out their failures or how I've changed from who I was to who I am today. I wouldn't be who I am inside my own head today, had it not been for what I went through. That's true for everyone.

Trust me, you're better off not ending up hanging with the jocks, and it might just be that the treatment you got drove you to become the man you are today. Embrace your past and understand that it's a part of you and a part of what made you who you are. Perhaps then you can get over this need to prove shit to people who you shouldn't prove anything to.

[Stonecloak]

If you really want an answer go seek a psychologist, he could tell you I'm sure. That is what psychologist are there for, their purpose is not only to lock away crazies. It probably has to do something with suppressing the mockery you have received by them and wanting revenge, but that is only a wild guess! Kuddos to you for not rubbing it into their faces immediately, they probably regret it too!

Tbh and this is not to belittle psychologists, but i am reluctant to seek advice from any "professional" that wants to keep you coming back.

[Cyberowl]

Tbh and this is not to belittle psychologists, but i am reluctant to seek advice from any "professional" that wants to keep you coming back.

Yeah, it wouldn't be worth it for me to know, that's why I said "if you really want an answer". Seems to small of a real issue, especially since OP knows this is the wrong thing to do, but it is certainly a possibility.

[Mercadi]

I've changed quite a bit since school years. I was a big guy back then, so I could outbully the bullies more than half the time. And now I simply don't feel any desire to do anything with people who were assholes to me. Don't care if they are overweight or drug addicts, or whatever.

[Deleted]

I've not been in the army of whatever, but I do know how you feel. I didn't have a great time at school and failed a bunch of stuff because I was basically a terrible person in a pretty bad place, I got picked on quite a bit and stuff, and was probably the ugliest person in my year of about 150 people, and they let me know it was so. Now I'm doing a ton better, a lot of those people don't have jobs, and I have a really stable and good one, consider myself to be at least reasonably attractive, happy and so on where a lot of them are all in a pretty sad place, and yep, absolutley have a desire to rub it in their faces. That said, if I was one of your school friends, and we met up, you'd probably still be in a better place than I am. The point is, no matter how well you feel you are doing, there is always someone doing better, always someone above you. It's great that you are doing great but better to just keep it to yourself, feel smug etc. Lets you feel good for longer, because as soon as you try to rub it in people's faces and be like "ohhh how the mighty have fallen!" then someone else who's done even better than you will come along and you'll look really silly.

[vep]

Sadly, that's quite normal. However, you should strive to be better than that, in my opinion.

[Aspect of Death]

What makes you think that you are better than them? I'm sorry but any idiot could come and tell me "Dude, I'm like so much better than you because X" and I wouldn't care or laugh at him.

Also why would you act like a dick to someone who invited you out? People change, they may have been dicks before, but that doesn't mean they are now. Anyway I would advice you to not say anything, unless you want to be "that dick".